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AIBU

AIBU to be annoyed by this

(98 Posts)
wiggle Mon 02-Jul-18 15:44:54

Yesterday our neighbours had a family party in the garden. It started at 12 and went on until 8pm. There was no especially loud music or anything like that but a lot of people talking and laughing (around 30 of them) the entire time. I like my neighbours very much and respect that in this weather people want to be outdoors and should be able to have people over. But it meant that we ended up indoors the entire time because you literally couldn't hear yourself think over the noise, let alone read or hold a conversation. 30 people laughing, chatting and shouting at the same time is quite loud.

I have no objection to people having fun obviously and they were having fun, and it's not like it went on late or anything. But it's not the first such gathering they have had this summer and I assume it won't be the last so am I being unreasonable at being annoyed that we got 9 solid hours of party noise that stopped us being able to enjoy our garden on a sunny weekend? I should maybe add that we have people round regularly but never that many and certainly never for that long. We also try not to make noise in the garden in the evenings in case we disturb their baby.

Mauriherb Tue 03-Jul-18 11:55:58

Like Juggernaut I have awful neighbours. I've lived here happily for 37 years but since they moved in its been a nightmare. All night parties, diy at all hours, loud music, slamming doors etc . When I spoke to them, calmly, I was subjected to a torrent of abuse and foul language. I live on my own and feel totally intimidated by them. I would welcome neighbours who had fun in the afternoon

kooklafan Tue 03-Jul-18 11:59:44

DH and I live in a semi detached property. In the adjoining house they have a dog which constantly yaps and growls at us every time we open the door, step outside or even when we are just talking to one another in our kitchen. Yes there's a fence but the yapping and growling is getting us down. I love all animals but I don't appreciate being growled at. The neighbor on the other side actually called the police on her adjoining neighbor because they were making 'kitchen noises' they cook and she does everything in the microwave! These neighbors hold lengthy conversations across out back garden to one another, so rude!

Bijou Tue 03-Jul-18 12:11:58

Both my neighbours don’t have parties but are keen do it youselvers. On sunny Sunday afternoons they are drilling and sawing. On occasion there was a cloud of pink dust coming into my garden. I phoned his wife who never sits in the garden, what was going. He was sawing bricks in half!

GreenGran78 Tue 03-Jul-18 12:26:59

My lovely, but rather loud next-door neighbour is an avid tennis fan. I know that I am in for a couple of weeks of listening to her shouts and groans as she watches it on tv. If this hot weather continues, with all our windows open, she will be entertaining the neighbours every day!
Apart from when tennis tournaments are on she is no trouble at all, so we just grin and bear it.

annep Tue 03-Jul-18 13:19:41

terrible stories! why are people so selfish and inconsiderate. DIY every weekend I would not accept without a battle.

icanhandthemback Tue 03-Jul-18 14:14:03

DIY every weekend I would not accept without a battle.

When are they supposed to do it if they work? Not everybody can afford to get in contractors.

One party, one weekend? I wouldn't be the slightest bothered. In this day and age it is nice to know that families still get together and have fun.

Nanny41 Tue 03-Jul-18 14:57:09

I hope you are invited next time, I think finishing a summer paty at 8pm is reasonable, also no music blaring, just people talking and having fun is acceptable.
I agree the heat does affect people.

Jalima1108 Tue 03-Jul-18 15:22:11

Juggernaut that sounds awful
He's just an absolute thug, apparently had a moderate lottery win let's hope that his money runs out soon and he has to move elsewhere.

Well, we were thinking of moving but perhaps we'll stay here with all our fairly quiet neighbours - although I suppose that someone could always move here and upset everyone.

Jalima1108 Tue 03-Jul-18 15:24:44

although we have had lots of noise over the years with building work and someone moved in and started hacking up a concrete patio with a hammer and chisel which took more than one summer ..... I was going to offer to pay for a heavy duty concrete breaker.

HurdyGurdy Tue 03-Jul-18 16:19:22

It would never cross my mind to seek my neighbours' approval before having family round to my house or my garden. Nor would it cross my mind to shush my family or to tell them to talk in quite tones, in case it disturbed my neighbours.

It's the summer. We're enjoying a decent bit of weather for a change. And it's nice to know that some families like to enjoy each other's company.

So yes, I do think YABveryU. It's not like the party went on all night or they were playing loud music. And it doesn't sound like a regular event.

HurdyGurdy Tue 03-Jul-18 16:38:54

argh - quiet tones!

Hm999 Tue 03-Jul-18 16:58:52

Years ago when my kids were little, they were warned not to shout etc in the garden on a nice day, because we had elderly neighbours who presumably would have their windows open. A few years later, when they wanted an evening party, they went round to the neighbours before the event, and told them what time it would start and roughly what time it would finish (maybe 5 hours later!). On a least one occasion, a bunch of flowers were taken round beforehand. Courtesy.
Personally I think 8 hours is excessive, and I do think you have a right to sit in your own garden on a nice day, wiggle. Do you have a front garden you can sit in? I have a beach to disappear onto, do you have anywhere? And yes, invest in noise cancelling headphones.
My personal gripe would be being unable to hear the football on the TV with my windows open on a nice day, once I'd had enough sun.

harrysgran Tue 03-Jul-18 17:22:04

I wouldn't have a problem if it finished at 8pm it was lovely weather and that's what many families do to take advantage of it.I might have gone out for a few hours maybe sat in the park and read my book or put my headphones in and listened to some music .

Barmeyoldbat Tue 03-Jul-18 17:50:53

Lucky you are not living in Laos or Cambodia, parties there start at 6.00 am and go on until about 11.30 at night with very, very loud music and noise.

sparkly1000 Tue 03-Jul-18 18:20:22

I think you are being unreasonable. At most there are only about 4 months in our summer to enjoy outdoor activities. This may have been a special birthday or anniversary, you don't know.
If the weather on the said day had been rainy you would not have been sitting outside reading anyway.
Let it go, be thankful that they are good neighbours, it was only one Sunday and it is past and gone now.

Yellowmellow Tue 03-Jul-18 18:26:17

If this isn't a regular ocurrence I can't see what the problem is, and an 8.00 finish is very reasonable. There have been lots of lovely sunny days you have been able to sit in the garden.

MillyG Tue 03-Jul-18 18:34:18

Yes yabu, don’t be such a misery. You can sit quietly in your garden all the rest of the week.

GrannyGravy13 Tue 03-Jul-18 18:43:27

We have been in our present home for 30 years next month. My birthday is in July, and every year we have had a family and friends BBQ. When our Children were younger we always had a large bouncy castle, much laughter and screams (and not,just the children)

Have always informed our immediate neighbours. On my 50th, as we knew it would go on till the wee hours, we invited them.

My 60th last year was more subdued as my dear Mum had passed away in April, and I just could not cope with a family party without her.

Homes and gardens are to be enjoyed, as long as you have respect for neighbours. I think you should just live and let live, life is to short not to take advantage of family time together.

I am about to let my neighbours know that we shall be having work done, unfortunately it will take approximately 2-3 months. Have just agreed that they will not start before 8am and will definitely finish by 5pm at the latest, no weekends, takes longer with these time constraints but, I think it is best for all around (and I need a couple of quite days)

annep Tue 03-Jul-18 18:59:47

icanhandthembacj . I don't care if they are working. when I worked I would not have done that. they could at least give the neighbours a break one week in four. People should be considerate to each other.

Overthehills Tue 03-Jul-18 19:47:26

Oh Juggernaut, how horrible for you - I’d be climbing the walls. Our neighbours on both sides (not joined on) are lovely but one has just said they’re thinking of moving and I’m worrying already!

oldbatty Tue 03-Jul-18 20:27:06

must be nice to have any kind of garden, let along one big enough for a family party.

Aepgirl Tue 03-Jul-18 20:41:32

How dare people enjoy a party in their own garden?!! It finished at 8pm so you had the rest of the evening in peace. Live and let live - and lighten up,

JustALaugh Tue 03-Jul-18 20:45:00

Why didn't you simply put in some earplugs?
I had a BBQ last Sunday, from 1pm to 5pm, with the family, including the 2 grandchildren, in the paddling pool. Lots of squeals and laughter..... but it was just a one-off, and we only see the grandchildren fortnightly. I would expect my neighbours to be understanding about some noise now and again

Grandmama Tue 03-Jul-18 21:10:49

I don't think you can complain if it finished at 8pm. We are surrounded by HMOs (Houses of Multiple Occupancy) so at 8pm student parties haven't even started. Some have gone on all night.

Most students have gone home now . . . no more parties for the time being but the builders/gardeners have moved in. What a racket. Sitting in the shade in the garden last week I could hear very clearly the work that has started on an extension to the HMO two doors away. On each side of it live retired couples like us who will have to endure noise and disturbance for some considerable time. Plus loud garden maintenance in a HMO garden somewhere behind us. And they don't pay Council Tax.

GrauntyHelen Tue 03-Jul-18 21:36:42

YES YABU for all the reasons stated by Maw and others