AiBU and feeling really grumpy

We have celebrated our Golden Wedding today. We had our children and grandchildren here for the day. We had brunch when they arrived and my daughter and daughter in law made a lovely afternoon tea and insisted that my husband and I just relaxed. We had a lovely day although the weather was really hot. They all left by 6.30 pm after a really nice chilled out day with good food, champagne and time to be with the people we love most in the world. Keeping it simple with just our immediate family was exactly what we wanted and kept it all stress free. I do hope you will enjoy your special day and be grateful for every day that you get to spend with your dear husband. So many of my friends are alone by now. Remember, don't sweat the small stuff.

I’m sorry but I think you’re being quite unreasonable. I think your sister has compromised well. She is coming to take you to lunch and coming to your celebration dinner. I would understand your being miffed if she was doing nothing, but this isn’t the case.

I would hate to spend days staying in a house with either of my sibling’s friends. I am sociable but I hate making small talk and find it exhausting. I can be outgoing and fun but need to retreat to my own company to recharge my batteries. I can imagine agreeing to something like this and getting carried along with it, only to realise as the time approached that I was dreading it. I would probably then suggest a compromise similar to your sister’s.

What has happened has happened, I am used to it, so we will all continue as normal.

M0nica I was invited to a relative's 50th wedding anniversary party and didn't go. Timing was difficult and it was a long journey. I hope that the celebrants weren't too upset that we didn't go. Your sister may think it is enough for her to turn up to lunch and the evening celebration. Perhaps she also feels that you have enough on your hands with the 14 and doesn't want to be too much trouble. Hope you have a lovely time and I'm sure it isn't meant to hurt, whatever her reasons.

queueing for a bathroom? Are you camping?

mmm Monica, would it be healthier to just say that you thought they were staying and feel some disappointment that they are not.

Its out then .

I'd feel shy as I often do and my toileting habits would not fit well with others at the house party. I once could adapt to jolly parting but now I am too old to make the effort. MOnica you need some good communication like if you and your sister were to attend a counselling session together.

Please be thankful that so many people are celebrating your Golden Wedding with you. It was our 50th last summer, we booked a lovely pub room for the whole evening & said we 'd pay for everything.
My husband's extended family travelled long distances to be with us, a couple of good friends & our daughters families too.
Not one person came from my side of the family, my sister, her daughter & granddaughter's family were all busy at other parties or feeling unwell at the last minute.
I'll never waste my time inviting them to a family do again!
Enjoy your wonderful week together MOnica! XX

Wondering what is happening for the rest of the week Monica. Who is doing the chores. Will there be a rota for bathroom/toilet duties. Will there be ground rules. What happens if someone falls out with others. Will there be a facilitator/therapist on call. Just joking.

Like paddyann, I think you are being unreasonable. Your sister os coming, what more do you want? Surely it’s better for people to decide for themselves what they want to do. Her husband’s shyness may have something to do with it, if he’s uncomfortable in a crowd why do you want to push it? She probably doesn’t want to be there on her own, I know if I go anywhere with my Dh I leave with him. Different strokes for different folks. Just arrange it, go, enjoy it, don’t take offence and most of all be gracious and let people do what they want. To be honest, I hate ‘occasions’. Our 50th was a couple of t-bone steaks and a bottle of wine at home. That suited us.

Congratulations from me too on your Golden Wedding and also your big birthdays. Sadly as others have said I'd be the one going home at the end of the night - possibly to come back another day in the week to spend time with the family. I don't 'do' being away from home and sharing houses with people - as we need separate rooms hotels are quite costly too. I've been asked to stay at a friend's place several times but have always made excuses - cats are very handy excuses for having to be home

Glad you're feeling better today MOnica - enjoy your celebrations when they arrive

It's about your wedding anniversary! You didnt marry your sister. Be grateful for what you have. You won't like what I say next. I don't care either.

Be grateful you still have your husband and all the family you do have.

My beloved husband, soul mate and best friend past away this March just gone at the age of 60.

I try to count my blessings as people are losing partners/spouses/children and I am not terminally unique. I read posts like this and think stop acting so spoilt and entitled. I am sure you wouldn't want to trade places with me or many others

At least she is coming and is alive too! It isn't all about you

My DH reaches 75 this year and it is also our 50th wedding anniversary. We have been to many parties recently but I really don't like them so we have rented an upmarket house at Centre Parks and spending the weekend with our DD and SiL, our DS and DiL and our two wonderful grandchildren. I cannot wait!!

Congratulations on your Golden Wedding Anniversary Monica but to be honest you have a house full of your friends and relatives and I would hate to spend a night with a lot of people I didn't know. I think it's great that your sister is coming to take you out for lunch, so just accept that not everyone likes large house parties. I am sure your sister would have come but she is being considerate of her husband.

Congratulations on your special anniversary and birthdays. I can understand your disappointment regarding your sister. But you are doing the right thing - have a wee cry and then put it to one side best you can. Don't let it ruin your lovely plans. She is the one losing out most, while you will be having a wonderful time with the rest of your family.

Gosh, some people can’t seem to help but cross the line between being frank amd being downright nasty. I’m talking about you Sarahellen and holdingontomyteeth

Sad.

Monica, you are one of my goto posts as you always seem so together and head screwed on right, as well as intelligent and perspicacious. so I was surprised to see you were the original poster, it really must have touched a nerve and I understand why, and your other post this morning saying you had shrugged it off. good for you. It might have helped if she had given a reason as to why they didn't want to stay.

I hope you have a wonderful time and congratulations on achieving 50 years! Focus on those who do want to share it all with you. I only managed less than 11 with two husbands, however have now been with OH for 20 years, not married, if it ain't broke don't mend it is what I say.

Ignore the uncalled for nasty comments from some posters, none of them ring true with how you come across on GN.

I agree with Greciangirl your sister is taking part in your celebration so what is the problem
Enjoy it all and don't be upset with your sister.

Congratulations, we did the same thing last year and two of our AGC couldn't come, its as it is, enjoy yourself we did.

I really don’t see what the problem is.

She is attending the celebrations, not ignoring you in any way. Maybe she can’t stay for various reasons.

It sounds as if you are going to have a house full, so just enjoy present company.

Everyone gets to do what they feel most comfortable with. Just have a lovely time and enjoy your sisters company. She is taking you for lunch too - the celebrations just go on and on! Have a fab time!

She probably prefers sleeping at home rather than with a gaggle of people she doesn't know. Queuing for the bathroom(s) in the morning and waking up to unfamiliar faces at the breakfast table when you haven't 'got your face on', isn't everyone's idea of a good time.
Why cry? She will be there to treat you to lunch and there for the party.
Frankly, I'd not want to stay overnight either with a bunch of people I didn't know.
To cry about her not sleeping over is too theatrical.

Your sister is at least making an effort and I would think the effort of NOT staying even greater.
My sister stole the inheritance left to me by my mother...

I admire your sister for saying no, I used to go to events that I knew I would not enjoy just to please the person that invited me.

just adding, perhaps its another one of your guests that your sister or BIL don't get along with and they don't want to be around them for longer than necessary? I wouldn't take it personal XX