Is this out of order?

Well the verdict appears to be unanimous, we are all in agreement that young children should sit on an adult’s knee, or stand if they are old enough, so that an older person can sit down, when traveling on a bus. I also believe the same should apply when traveling on a train or tube train.
I wonder when it all went wrong. What has happened to make parents believe that a child traveling free or for half fare, should have more right to a seat than an adult?

Until four years ago, I would have agreed. I now have a friend with a son who has developmental disabilities. Moving him could result in a full-scale meltdown. I’m more surprised that his/her mother wouldn’t have given you her seat.

Well that obviously wasn’t the case here Jallenrix was it?

It is the reason toddlers travel free - however I can't see what you could do on a crowded bus with a difficult mother. No conductors these days to force the issue.

How daft! My kids knew they sat on my lap or stood up when older. With my young grandchildren its the same .

I think we all agree because that was how we were brought up and what was generally accepted in those days. I find it incredible when travelling by train or on the London Underground that parents get on to a crowded train and tell their children to take any available seats and stand themselves. Children are rarely told to give up their seats to the elderly or infirm. They sit there like little emporers seeming to think they have a right to the seat. It annoys me no end! I think (and hope) that my own GC don't do this but I'm not often on a train with them!

If we don’t teach our children to be kind and considerate to others, selfishness & antisocial behaviour will reign. Children should never be given a choice in these matters but told what to do, otherwise they’ll never learn the what’s right.

I think its a bit unfair to say children aren't allowed a choice. They have as much right to choice as anyone else - parents need to offer good options to allow them to choose. So in this situation it would have been handled much better to ask the toddler if she wanted to sit on her mum's lap or she wanted to stand up.
I'm not sure its appropriate to ask a child to sit on a strangers lap and even worse is to make a child feel they don't have a choice over what happens to them.

Sometimes I have trouble controlling my reactions. In that situation I think I would have burst out laughing and then said to the mother "Are you kidding me??"

Seems to be the way people behave these days. It’s like travelling on a train, where the majority of people seem to sit in the aisle seat, leaving the seat on the inside unoccupied or full of their baggage. Woe betide anyone who has the temerity to ask them to move their belongings or even worse, move over so they can sit down.
What a selfish inconsiderate society we have developed into.

When I had a school bus pass back in the late 50s and 60s, the conductor would always tell school kids to double up (sit on one-another's lap) or stand up. At 16 we had a typed message on our passes that we werre over 16 and entitled to a seat. Oh, the good old days!

My child would have been moved immediately. She still would - and shes 19! (Although she wouldn't have to be told!)

Totally agree with all these,when they are so young, they cannot dictate what they want to do, children of this age are all about their world. The parent should have put the child on their lap and explain why they have done it,and that it's a kind thing to do.I used to teach Infants and many start school with very few manners.

It's never too early to be kind and consider others,helping and sharing is making a very good start to school and a great lesson in life skills.

Another vote in agreement! I once travelled on a longish train journey and a mother occupied four seats (herself and 3 very young children). I was stood up right beside them and she could have easily put two together or one on her lap but what was worse was the kids spent most of the journey on the floor, standing up looking out the window or making endless trips to the toilet!!! I should have said something but, as she was so thoughtless, would it have made any difference other than to get me more annoyed?

As others have said I learnt from a very early age that I gave up seats to my elders - its so ingrained in me that even now I find myself standing up for people I 'think' may be older than me (who probably aren't tho )

I insist my children/gc think of others.

My child would have sat on my lap even if there were free seats !

This is so not right .
Children should be taught manners and that they do not always have their own way
Asking the child !!!! words fail parent be a partent

Thank you everyone I am reassured that it's not just me. I do despair sometimes

You have to be so careful these days. I got on a bus where a fit and healthy young man was sitting in the ‘disabled’ seat. The whole of the first floor was packed and there was no way I could climb the stairs or stand for the journey, I simply said “I’d have thought a fine young man like yourself could sit upstairs” and I was subject to a torrent of abuse and swearing throughout the journey (someone else was kind enough to move) from his mother and sister, and when we got off the bus the three of them mobbed us, pushing and shouting. I was very shaken by the episode but sadly there is a huge amount of disability discrimination. Even at my DGD’s school where the headteacher condoned a non-disabled person parking in the single Blue badge bay - I used to park on the double yellow lines (well away from the zigzags) with my badge until surly letters about ‘dangerous parking’ were sent out, and I got abuse from other parents, who were quite alright when it came to the obstructions caused by their own cars. I despair sometimes.

My children were taught good manners, as I was by my parents, however, there were many times when doors were opened (before the advent and spread of automatic doors) by my children for me to pass through and held there whilst a stream of adults waltzed in without even glancing at them never mind a smile or thank-you. To a four year old, smilingly holding a doir open, this can be confusing and I hated with a vengeance, the adults who ignored them.
When we were on public transport they sat on my knee or stood between my legs without being asked. Some adults are just unmannerly and ignorant.

*door...sorry

I'd have moved my child, paid for or not.
I watched 999 what's your emergency last night. The number of people ringing the police to deal with their aggressive often violent children was shocking.
'Threatening your mum with a knife because you do not want to go to bed' and the police had to intervene.
You can't start negotiating with a two year old child and then when they are 14 years old decide to be authoritarian. Children can't cope with it, their brains have not developed enough to do do. Discipline and manners start as a small child and continue until they mature.
What seems like a 'choice' about a seat on a bus is potentially much more serious.
I'm in no way saying to 'rule with an iron fist' or not give choice but there has to be some sort of balance.

I have a memory of my twins at about 3 years old, on a very crowded bus, shaming several gentlemen, who wouldn’t meet her eye, by standing up when a pregnant lady got on, and saying ‘lady sit?’. They both climbed on my lap and the lady was more than grateful a we chatted all the way home!

Recently I got on the bus after a hospital visit, bang on school time. Several young people stood to offer their seats and I was practically forced to take a seat .

I made a note of the school and was delighted to call and offer praise where due when I got home.

Not all kids are bad - and, clearly, not all parents are good!

Manners make our culture. What the young forgot they maybe the one standing with arthritic hips. In pain but still trying the carry on and be independent.

As a nan and a childminder I always make the children stand or sit on my lap if there is someone else in need of a seat ie elderly, or pregnant, etc. I was on a bus with an elderly uncle in his 80s and unfortunately he had an early hospital apt which meant we was on the bus with a lot of school children, not one of them offered him a seat. Even tho quite loudly I asked can someone give this gentlemen a seat. But it fell on deaf ears. I think it's a sign of the times.