Gransnet forums


Is this out of order?

(121 Posts)
cressdale Tue 10-Jul-18 16:25:46

This morning I had to take a short bus ride to visit a friend. The bus was full. There was a toddler taking up a seat. They could easily have sat on the parent's lap. The parent realised this I think and said to her "why don't you sit on my knee so someone else can sit down"? The toddler (maybe aged 2) said I don't want to. So the parent said OK and the passengers who had paid were left standing while the child who goes for free took the seat. There was ample room for her to sit on her parent's knee. There were older people who wanted to sit (including me as I had very heavy bags) AIBU to think a toddler shouldn't be making this decision and the parent needs to be the responsible adult and also teach the child from a young age about manners and consideration for others?

butternut5 Tue 10-Jul-18 16:34:10

No way my kids would have got away with that behaviour at that age - or now!

jenpax Tue 10-Jul-18 16:34:39

Agreed I would always insist my children or small DGC take my lap if there was a seat shortage.
On the flip side why do some elderly folk look daggers at anyone not obviously elderly sitting on the lower deck even if there are lots of priority seats left? I always sit on the lower floor because I can’t manage stairs and am currently most likely eligible for priority seating (even if I don’t appear elderly) due to extreme limited mobility?

cressdale Tue 10-Jul-18 16:43:20

there is no way my children would have been allowed to do that. Sit on my knee or if bigger stand up. There is no consideration any more. I don't like they way everything has to be based around what the child wants all the time.

Deedaa Tue 10-Jul-18 17:10:45

I wouldn't have asked. Mine would have been plonked on my knee (and frequently was)

Squiffy Tue 10-Jul-18 17:17:26

Same here Deedaa!

Feelingmyage55 Tue 10-Jul-18 17:21:53

Hear, hear.

sodapop Tue 10-Jul-18 17:33:42

Definitely out of order cressdale but I find nowadays parents are reluctant to be firm with their children. The word 'no' is not often used.

Panache Tue 10-Jul-18 17:38:57

No way to teach your young how to behave,disgusting.

But I think parents are often too afraid that their child might throw a wobbly,so they settle for what clearly is disrespectful to those older,infirm etc..........and the child has learnt nothing.

ninathenana Tue 10-Jul-18 17:48:09

I agree, the child shouldn't have had a choice.

Mapleleaf Tue 10-Jul-18 17:48:30

It shouldn’t be up for negotiation! Straight on lap, end of.

thecatgrandma Tue 10-Jul-18 17:53:28

If they don’t pay, they don’t get a seat. That goes for BAGS too. ?

annep Tue 10-Jul-18 19:19:05

Its a different world now, more's the pity.

Melanieeastanglia Tue 10-Jul-18 19:23:07

I think you are right. My children would have sat on my lap in the circumstances.

MissAdventure Tue 10-Jul-18 19:28:46

Mine wouldn't have been given the option: she would have been put on my lap.

PamelaJ1 Tue 10-Jul-18 19:32:48

Agree with everyone.
Children are given too many choices these days.

Lisalou Tue 10-Jul-18 21:39:38

Mine would have been plonked on lap or, if older, I would have said something to them about standing and offering seat

Iam64 Tue 10-Jul-18 21:45:52

Yes, simply say to the child, come on and sit on my knee, so that person can sit down. In our family and I'm sure in everyone else's, it was just 'known' that children gave up seats for adults. Young people gave up seats for anyone who seemed to need to sit-that is anyone older than them, or pregnant women.

Eloethan Tue 10-Jul-18 22:06:56

I agree with what has been said. I think I actually learned at school, rather than from my parents, that children should offer their seats to adults or anyone that obviously needed a seat.

phoenix Tue 10-Jul-18 22:16:09

Agree, agree, agree!

far to much asking the children these days! They are at severe risk of becoming little Emperors/Empresses, thinking that they are the centre of the universe!

MamaCaz Tue 10-Jul-18 22:17:45

Didn't there even used to be signs on buses saying that children must give up their seats to adults, or words to that effect? I am not sure if I am imagining this or not.

OldMeg Tue 10-Jul-18 22:51:44

Words fail me. I think I’d have insisted it moved.

lemongrove Tue 10-Jul-18 23:10:53

Agree, a child of that age should simply have been whisked onto a lap. A child of any other age shouldn’t be asked either, but told to stand up and give an older person a seat.
Then parents wonder why their children run them ragged!

LiltingLyrics Tue 10-Jul-18 23:29:00

If you look in the small print for most public bus companies you will find it says something like ... Children travelling for free cannot occupy a seat if it is needed by a fare-paying passenger. I think we can assume that that rule would extend to the elderly travelling on concessionary passes as if they were fare-paying. I rarely travel on a bus so I don't know if they display signs to this effect. If not, they should.

The same general rule may apply in other situations. For example, the ticketing policy for the local theatre here is simple. If you want a seat for a young child you buy a ticket, else it sits on your lap.

Elrel Wed 11-Jul-18 00:03:21

I remember conductors, as the bus got full, calling out 'All half fares stand, please!'