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AIBU

Neighbours talking in garden til midnight

(79 Posts)
Atqui Sun 15-Jul-18 15:07:38

We have some new neighbours in the (rented) house next door. In this heat we have our bedroom window open wide , and can hear talking from the people in the garden next door . Understandably they want to sit outside in the evening, but AIBU to expect them to continue their loud conversations indoors after 11 pm. It went on until 12.15 last night and we had to close the window. (even then we could still hear them)

OldMeg Sun 15-Jul-18 20:42:46

There are advantages to those like DH who wear hearing aids. He doesn’t hear a thing.

Close the window and buy a fan.,

Bathsheba Mon 16-Jul-18 08:58:52

I don't really understand why some people have jumped on you from a great height. The key thing here is the word "loud" in your OP. People talking is one thing; having a "loud conversation" is something altogether different. No YANBU Atqui.
Having said that, I agree with some comments that they possibly don't realise they are being loud, so are not being deliberately inconsiderate, merely thoughtless. If it becomes a regular occurrence I'd be inclined to mention it to them gently.

BiblioQueen Mon 16-Jul-18 11:16:23

I am really surprised that the response to neighbour music (last week) and neighbour talking (this week) is so completely different - and even antagonistic - the comments on last week's complaint about music in gardens were mostly sympathetic and in agreement that unwanted noise from neighbours in their gardens can be very stressful and is inconsiderate. I definitely think you have every right to be as annoyed by talking after 11 as by others' music in their gardens . Both situations are equally inconsiderate and irritating. Why is everyone being so unsupportive on this one? You have my full sympathy, Atqui, and I would ask them to go indoors to talk or keep their voices down after 11. Everyone has the right to get to sleep without having to listen to others' intrusive conversations; (and I'm surprised they wanted everyone to hear their chat, as well? Odd) I was woken up at 1.30 am last weekend by someone outside my window with his car engine running shouting into his mobile phone for 40 minutes. I fail to understand how people can think this is OK, quite frankly. Aaargh. By the way, the rented thing is pertinent here, (we had terrible trouble with a rented flat across the road) for the simple reason that people who are in an area temporarily obviously have less reason to invest in good neighbour relations. and tend to treat the area like a stopover rather than nurturing a mutually beneficial long-term engagement with the neighbourhood. (Not saying all renters are like this, obvs.)

Atqui Mon 16-Jul-18 13:31:18

Thanks for that Biblio

LondonMzFitz Mon 16-Jul-18 13:34:10

I think 11pm cut-off is reasonable for chatter in the garden during good weather - just shows an understanding for neighbours, I'd think.

Now, I have an early rising neighbour who sweeps his driveway at 6am. It's a beautiful morning, why on earth should people still be abed seems to the thoughts of my retired 91 year old neighbour .... As I don't leave for work until 8am why on earth would I want that extra hour + of sleep ...

Noreen3 Mon 16-Jul-18 14:35:59

Atqui,I agree that it's annoying when the noise goes on too late.People should show some consideration,and try to keep it down a bit.I have neighbours who sometimes don't come out till midnight and are are still talking loudly at 2 am,not too often thank goodness.Perhaps I'm turning into a grumpy old woman,I 'm 67,and should move to somewhere for elderly people.I suppose it's what you have to put up with when you live among a mixture of age groups.I still think 11 or 11.30 would be a good time to start being quiet.

Stansgran Mon 16-Jul-18 15:16:59

I think it is quite hard to sleep in the heat and some people don't know how far their voices travel on a still night. I agree with the suggestion of joining in . Could you call out Lovely evening isn't it? And then they might realise how loud they were. Then you could do a Walton family type of goodnight.

HildaW Mon 16-Jul-18 15:17:20

Am so glad a few more people have showed support for this matter. I do sometimes feel that social courtesy or consideration for others is deemed old fashioned and only for fuddy-duddy types. There is nothing wrong in expecting people to consider others and not to take offense if its pointed out (tactfully). I was reminded yesterday when watching Wimbledon. The crowd was politely asked 'As a matter of courtesy to the players, to keep quiet during rallies'. Enthusiastic yelling has its place but sometimes a little hush is more important.
My Mum always told us children off if we got too noisy in the garden. I can still hear her saying 'Don't scream unless your being killed'.....it was sort of a joke but we got the message. Children having fun in the garden is one thing....yelling and screaming is quite different. I also feel that some people have lost the art of private conversation. OH and I can natter together in the garden in such a way that only someone a few feet away could hear it....its how I was brought up....when I'm chatting to someone only they need to hear, some people seem to need to broadcast their whole conversations. Don't get me started on those with a phone!!!

Grammaretto Mon 16-Jul-18 15:50:11

My noise is fine. Your noise, on the other hand, is dreadful.
My DM, now deceased, used to complain about her young neighbour with his ghetto blaster until he turned in her one day and said he didn't much like her opera on her radio!

Hm999 Mon 16-Jul-18 16:35:39

Living near rented houses that change tenants every six months is very different from living near houses with longterm occupants. We have neighbours who sit outside long after dark, and my daughter finds it very disruptive to her sleep pattern because of very loud laughing in the early hours. They also have neighbours with small children, and some elderly neighbours.
As I have said before part of living in society is having respect for the needs of others. Empathy is often in short supply.

JenniferEccles Mon 16-Jul-18 17:04:38

I think some on here have been very unfair to the OP.

I find it extraordinary that so many people don't seem to realise just how much sound carries, especially with the current weather, people outside and windows open.

Our first house when we got married was a mid terraced house with, inevitably, back gardens very close together.
If we were outside in the evening (1976 comes to mind!)we would speak very quietly to each other, aware as I was that our voices could carry and be heard by the neighbours.

I would have a polite word with them Atqui.
It's very possible they don't realise that you can hear them.

Failing that, it's good in a way that the house is rented as their tenancy agreement will state that they mustn't cause a nuisance to others, so if it continues you could contact the letting agents.

We have a property we rent out and I would hate to think our tenants were being a problem to the neighbours.

goldengirl Mon 16-Jul-18 18:08:15

Perhaps I'm a little odd but I find people talking in the garden next door somewhat comforting. It's the shouting in the street I don't like or the revving of car engines. There are also children next door to us who are always noisy but our own GC unwittingly retaliate. Live and let live is my motto in these circumstances.

JenniferEccles Mon 16-Jul-18 18:17:58

But would you still like it at midnight goldengirl when you had to close your bedroom window to escape it, as the Op has described? In this heat???

Mapleleaf Mon 16-Jul-18 19:09:01

I think if their talk is loud, bordering on shouting, then I don’t think you are being unreasonable. If it’s just ordinary volume, then I think yes you are, a bit. The problem is that on still nights, voices carry further and can seem louder than they perhaps are. Actually, 12.15 is not unduly late for a Saturday evening.
If there is loud music, too, then I can understand why you might be irritated, but I’m assuming not, as you didn’t mention music. As others suggest, maybe close the window and use a fan or leave window ajar but wear some earplugs?

oldbatty Mon 16-Jul-18 20:21:55

up date....my neighbours talking till 4am.

annep Mon 16-Jul-18 22:24:54

If its loud talking then YANBU. I agree with what Biblio said. Also I think its time the law on noise was changed to make it easier to get people to stop.

pollyperkins Mon 16-Jul-18 23:39:17

Actually tbe trouble with loud auduble talkng is that you cant help hearing every word which is more disturbing than constant traffic noise. At least it is to me! So I can see the problem.

harrigran Tue 17-Jul-18 08:50:41

Having to sleep with the windows open means you hear every car door slam and mobile phone conversation, even worse was screaming the other weekend. An irate ex turned up and attacked a lady in a flat, we then had a night of police vehicles and door slamming. I had retired to bed early but was left goggle eyed and weary at 4am.
I am starting to wonder about this one particular flat as it seems to have changeovers so frequently that it can not be a normal letting.

4allweknow Tue 17-Jul-18 17:47:36

No, you are not being unreasonable. The weather may be warm but this doesn't change folks life. If it's a once in a blue moon thing fine, if it's on a regular basis well no. Some folk have no idea how loud they are,, a lot of times due to alcohol. Why do folk think everyone else wants to hear their noise early into the morning.

watermeadow Tue 17-Jul-18 20:45:59

I had neighbours who lived in their small front garden in summer and had barbecues most nights. The children stayed up very late. The noise and smell was just 6’ from my window. Rain was no respite because they had 2 gazebos.
It’s not unreasonable to expect neighbours to respect bedtime, even in summer.

charlottehomer1 Sat 27-Jun-20 09:11:56

I agree noisy talking is really selfish and distracting. A selfish country we now live in. Talk quietly if you have neighbours or go in doors and use a fan. Nothing worse than listening to super boring conversations and ghastly tones (hardly Queen's English these days)

BBbevan Sat 27-Jun-20 09:39:38

We used to live near a very sporty family. 2 parents and three children. One week it might be running. Dad outside with a stopwatch while children pounded the pavements. Unsafe to stand on pavement. Next week ,cycling. Even more dangerous to stand on pavement. Then, tennis. Little girl screamed all day. Trampoline week was the worst. All 5 were on it, shouting and screaming all week. Late into the night also.
They were a very strange family who never said hello or acknowledged you were there.
We live in a nice quiet area now.

Lucca Sat 27-Jun-20 10:05:48

Better than the noise made by grandma24 neighbours ....

TerriBull Sat 27-Jun-20 10:19:36

Our house backs on to communal gardens that lead down to the Thames, we are well used to people socialising until late, talking, laughing, tinkling of glasses. Across the river directly opposite is a rowing club and a pub, under normal circumstances they also produce a helluva lot of noise. Goes with the territory, I really don't mind...………..and then there's the geese, they can start honking early hours of the morning at times and well with this extraordinarily hot weather, which arrives every summer now, windows open through the nigh is a must. When we moved here I thought we'd never get used to it!

Izabella Sat 27-Jun-20 10:57:33

I worked a three shift system for many years. Nights shifts during summer were the worst when all types of gardening and social activities took place. But I just had to get used to it. One neighbour reformed following a night visit to A/E when he said I looked tired. Maybe your stone cutting machine had a hand in it was my reply (or words to that effect) After that he enquired when I would be on nights and the whole family became firm friends - and still are decades later.