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(43 Posts)
Emm14 Mon 23-Jul-18 23:26:07

Hi ladies. My son and his wife and baby recently moved to new rental and I have planned to visit him this weekend and stay. However, my daughter tells me the house is disgustingly filthy and there are cockroaches. I am completely freaked out as I have a phobia of cockroaches. I’ve told me son I can’t stay and will find a motel near by but he thinks I am overreacting. Tells me he has only seen a couple of cockroaches and he has killed them. My grandson is at crawling stage and I am so upset he is living in that environment. What can I do ladies? AIBU in my reaction?

annep Mon 23-Jul-18 23:41:53

I feel sorry that they have to live there. I couldn't stay either.

stella1949 Tue 24-Jul-18 04:28:34

If they have seen two, there will be many more hiding . If you have a fear of them, stay in a motel.

If you want to help the situation, buy them some insect "bombs" to treat their home.

Bluegal Tue 24-Jul-18 06:03:50

Whilst not pleasant this can be dealt with as with all pests like fleas and bed bugs.

If you can afford it why not suggest they all join you in a hotel and get the place fumigated and professionally cleaned while you are away?

I would try not to freak out but be practical although I understand if you have a genuine phobia of anything it’s difficult to remain calm.

OldMeg Tue 24-Jul-18 06:46:08

Oh dear, difficult one. What was their last home like? I’m surprised your son and DiL agreed to rent a filthy property with a young child...could your daughter be overstating the filth perhaps?

I think you need to assess the situation for yourself.

gillybob Tue 24-Jul-18 07:57:30

I agree with Bluegals suggestion . If you can afford to have the place cleaned and fumigated while they stay in a hotel with you, otherwise I think I would just have to overcome my fear and get the place cleaned up myself ( or else you could volunteer to look after the little one while they do it ) I don’t mind scrubbing and cleaning as long as I have rubber gloves. I agree not nice when they have a small child. Good luck Emm14

sodapop Tue 24-Jul-18 08:00:25

Yes OldMeg is right, you need to see for yourself how bad it is.
Good idea from Bluegal as well if funds will stretch to it. They need some help now, perhaps you could look after the baby whilst they get on with the cleaning.

Greyduster Tue 24-Jul-18 08:06:30

You are not on your own having a phobia about cockroaches. I could not stay there either. When we lived in the Far East they used to call them the great leveller, as no-one could avoid them from the highest to the lowest, but they truly used to freak me out. Can they not get the landlord to do a deep clean and get rid of them?

harrigran Tue 24-Jul-18 08:16:38

Cockroaches used to be prolific in the 60s when I worked in old hospitals, there were notices on the kitchen walls warning not to turn out lights on nightshift because you would return to a carpet of them.
Just get the marigolds out and some hot soapy water.

MamaCaz Tue 24-Jul-18 08:47:00

I lived for several months in a cockroach-infested apartment in Spain. Awful! Because these things hide in dark places (shoes, bags, folded clothing etc.), it would be all too easy to inadvertently take them home with you after staying in an infested property, so I would definitely not stay over!

Based on my experience, I would say that it is impossible to solve the problem without professional help, as cockroaches (and especially their young) hide in such tiny, hidden crevices that you could not possibly get rid of them with a standard 'deep clean'.

MamaCaz Tue 24-Jul-18 08:51:35

Actually, as this is a rental, shouldn't the landlord be responsible for the professional work needed to deal with this infestation? I suggest that your son and DiL seek advice from the relevent authorities.

Coconut Tue 24-Jul-18 09:40:58

Totally agree with MamaCaz ... a landlord should be dealing with this immediately. It’s a serious health and safety issue and even more so with a baby.

Kathcan1 Tue 24-Jul-18 09:48:24

The Landlord has responsibility to ensure the place is fit for human habitation, it sounds like it wasn’t. There are government enforcers now who will take the landlord to task if he doesn’t respond. You need to face up to this problem and act in the best interest of your grandchild, I know I would kick up an almighty storm if my GC were living in those conditions, it’s not acceptable in this day & age.

Overthehills Tue 24-Jul-18 09:57:13

I ageee with Gillybob and Bluegal but think the landlord should be footing the bill.

sarahellenwhitney Tue 24-Jul-18 10:02:45

Emm14 You have every right to be concerned.I would not stay in a damp property and even if only two cockroaches had been observed would be worried that there could be more hiding around. Your SIl should inform his landlord as this is not a healthy situation in which to bring up a child.

4allweknow Tue 24-Jul-18 10:18:18

Landlord responsibly totally. Would also contact local authority environmental health dept, they would certainly know what should be done. Why did DS take on property with it being filthy? If this is a flat you can rest assured others in building will also have infestation.

Nannyto3 Tue 24-Jul-18 10:21:38

I would have the same reaction if it was mice Emma14. I have a terrible phobia and would be totally unable to live in that environment.

MamaCaz Tue 24-Jul-18 10:33:58

If they haven't already done it, I suggest they get up in the middle of the night if they want to find out how bad the infestation us - go into the kitchen ( or wherever they have previously seen cockroaches), switch on the light and they might find that there are dozens scurrying about on every surface!

We had viewed our infested property in broad daylight, as you do. It was perfectly clean, with no sign of cockroaches. When we moved in, we arrived at midnight, opened the door and they were everywhere! Several months of thorough cleaning and copious amounts of spray reduced the numbers, but try as we might, we couldn't get rid of them all.

Fortunately, it was only the first morning or two when I found dead ones in my bed that had obviously crawled in after me, and got squashed when I had rolled over!!!

Jane43 Tue 24-Jul-18 10:43:40

Yes do as MamaCaz suggests, take photos and send them to the landlord or the rental agency.

GabriellaG Tue 24-Jul-18 10:54:17

Why would they move to a 'disgustingly dirty' new rental?
I gather that you're in the US by your use of the word 'motel', but rentals have to be a certain standard here in the UK and landlords can be reported for not being properly maintained.
Why take a new baby to a place like that? What was your son thinking?
If you have the phone number of hhe landlord/owner, I 'd get your son to phone him to get the place cleaned and fumigated, meanwhile, could they look for somewhere else while staying with you?
Good luck.

inishowen Tue 24-Jul-18 10:58:49

We lived in Germany in the seventies and worked in old army barracks. These old buildings were infested with cockroaches. We used to put on buffets sometimes. The cockroaches were everywhere and we just accepted it! They were in the old NAAFI supermarket too. Disgusting, but I didn't know any better when i was in my twenties. As for your family I would find out how to fumigate the place and pay to have it done.

jenpax Tue 24-Jul-18 11:06:58

People have criticised your son and DIL for taking the property but if the rental market is as bad with you as it is over here I presume they had little choice and just had to take what they could get

Yorkshiregirl Tue 24-Jul-18 11:40:08

You can't get rid of cockroaches fully as they are in the soil

Nannan2 Tue 24-Jul-18 11:43:05

No youre not.But- O.M.G! Why on earth would they take a letting like that at all- especially with a baby?How could it happen?if it were me- have taken my son&his family in rather than let them do that. definately report that to environmental health and housing aid 'shelter'.And yes -the fumigation thing /cleaning should have been taken care of BEFORE the move not after,if they really had no choice but to take that property! What on earth are you all thinking?you,as your sons parent,and they,as the babies parents,should not have let this happen,theres always a way round things.sorry to be harsh but my first thought would have been How to help them not how do i avoid sleeping there for 1 night,when theyre expected to be there every night! No i just wouldnt have let it happen.even if my home was bursting at the seams,id have taken them in rather than that happen.sorry.angry

grandtanteJE65 Tue 24-Jul-18 11:49:33

Stay in the motel and please do encourage your daughter and son-in-law to contact both the landlord and the health authorities.

On no account should they try any form of sprays or fumigation themselves with such a young child in the family.