AIBU to think they're spending too much?

Yes Iam , I know what you mean. When I were a lad we lived in a cardboard box! Etc

Like Christmas, it's all just commercial.

And so sad that everyone has to compare their event with everyone else's.

Apologies for popping back in, this time to be Pollyanna, rather than an ironic wave to the three yorkshiremen. I honestly don't get the grumpy, negative comments about a generation of young people who chose to celebrate every significant event to the full. They like a party -good luck to them. I suspect its almost the final rebellion. Their parents had small, quiet weddings with a focus keeping spending to a minimum. So they go to the opposite extreme.
Many of my friends either didn't marry, or had a small registry office do, followed by a party at their new home -oldies not included. I find myself being pleased to be invited to the big weddings in our friendship group -its grand to be included at a celebration involving children you've known 30 years or so.

It's their wedding so really it's up to them to decide especially if they're paying the bulk of the costs!

That was the wedding from hell Muffinthemoo sorry but it made me chuckle.

I agree with others it should be the marriage which is important not the wedding. Each to their own I suppose.

And so sad that everyone has to compare their event with everyone else's.

Some may but certainly not all.

Monica Sorry I didn't mean all of us. I certainly don't live like that . But I do feel society is in general becoming very materialistic.

I’ve always said it makes no difference how much money you throw at a wedding, it won’t make the marriage last any longer, only love and compromise will do that.

One of my granddaughters has lived with her partner for almost ten years, and they have two children. Theirs is a loving relationship. I asked her why they did not get married, and how secure she felt financially should everything end badly. She said that she would love to get married but they couldn't afford it. She also thought that, as a common law wife of almost ten years standing, she had the same rights as a legal wife. I said that, from what I knew of their finances, they could manage an inexpensive wedding. And that the common law wife thing was a myth.
In the end, she said that to get married without the lavish expensive wedding that their friends had had would result in their friends looking down on them - a kind of keeping up with the Joneses. So despite believing me on the common law wife thing she would rather risk it and stay as they are.

stephenfryer, they could get married quietly with only their two witnesses - who could even be strangers from the street!
There'd be no need to tell anyone anything about it, but your granddaughter would get a bit of security.

Maybe the fact heterosexual couples can now also have a civil ceremony could lead to a less "show" day.

We should go the European way.The obligatory legal part of marriage takes place in the Registry office. It cannot happen anywhere else. Anything that happens after that - church or party, or both can take place anywhere, without hotels and the like having to get wedding licences. Once you have done the legal bits, if you want to plight your troth, surrounded by half the population of London on the top of Ben Nevis or the bottom of Loch Ness you are free to do so.

stephenfryer Your GD and partner should marry quietly. not mention it, then in 5 or 10 years time when all those who had expensive weddings are getting divorce they can casuall mention that they married some years ago and no-one will give a toss.

In the meanwhile they should both make wills that cover all the legal issues that come automatically with marriage, so, if their partnership does break up, each partners right to a share of the house, care of the children is protected and, if disaster strikes and one does die, the survivor can make the funeral plans, inherit the home and the assets they may have acquired.