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AIBU? GS in night nappy

(124 Posts)
NannyJan2 Mon 30-Jul-18 23:13:05

My grandson is 5 and stays with me most Friday nights, he still wears a pull up at night as he still wets the bed. I think he’s to old to be in a nappy still at night. My DS insists he wears one as it disrupts his sleep if he wets himself. Shall I just keep putting a pull up on him or should I let him feel what it’s like to wet the bed as I think that’s how he will learn to stay dry?

Youngatheart60 Mon 30-Jul-18 23:32:41

Your DS has given you the instructions to follow, so follow them. It’s not up to you and it’s not your child, so you don’t get to decide what’s best, they do.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but he is 5, and it will get back to them that you didn’t put a pull-up on. They will assume you are over riding their decision as parents which you are and it’s not your place.

You are a privileged relative. You don’t get to call the shots. It’s debating things like this and questioning another persons parenting that gets people cut off.

Why do you think it’s ok to just go against someone else’s instructions for their child?

Eglantine21 Mon 30-Jul-18 23:33:09

This is the grandson who occasionally wet himself in another thread?

Do you think you might be a bit obsessed [hmmm] ?

maryeliza54 Mon 30-Jul-18 23:33:39

You should carry on doing what you are being asked to do by your DS.

rubytut Mon 30-Jul-18 23:36:09

I think it is probably best not to do anything without the parents consent, many family rifts have happened over this sort of thing. Maybe ask if you could try to see if it helps, I imagine they could easily feel that you are criticising them for not trying themselves so do tread carefully.

stella1949 Mon 30-Jul-18 23:50:09

I don't see why this would bother you. He stays overnight, one night each week, so let this go. He isn't your child and this isn't your business. My GS was 6 before he was dry at night - honestly it's not a big deal.

If you get your knickers in a knot about this and try to change things, you might find yourself writing to Gransnet in the future, saying that you don't see your grandson as often as you want to.

M0nica Mon 30-Jul-18 23:56:47

Some children do have problems with bed wetting until quite well advanced. Sometimes that can extend into adulthood.

My sister was nearly 10 before she was reliably dry at night and she has suffered from a sensitive bladder and urgency all her life. She manages it very well.

Whatever the reason why he does not respond to the urge to urinate at night, the answer to should I let him feel what it’s like to wet the bed as I think that’s how he will learn to stay dry? is no,no and no again. You do not know why he has a problem and there is absolutely no reason to think this would work. Far more likely you will mentally scar him for life.

Bluegal Tue 31-Jul-18 00:30:09

Totally agree with all above! Night pads should not be a huge issue. Making it one can cause problems such as anxiety/stress and delay the natural process of being dry at night. I remember wetting my bed till I was around ten. Am sure my parents would have welcomed night pants then!

agnurse Tue 31-Jul-18 05:26:05

Boys, especially, tend to take longer to be dry at night. 5 isn't that old; there are children as old as 9 or 10 who still wet the bed on occasion. If it has been a consistent thing it is likely a case of bladder immaturity.

I would strongly recommend going with what the parents have said to do. Not just because they are the parents, but because having a new caregiver is stressful for a child and a stressful time is not the best time to start toilet training.

agnurse Tue 31-Jul-18 05:27:13

Ack! Just reread and saw that it's a common Friday thing. The thing is, though, that if it is not consistent he won't be able to stay dry likely.

mumofmadboys Tue 31-Jul-18 05:42:14

I am a retired GP. 5 % of 10 year olds wet the bed and 10 % of 5 year olds. Therefore very common at 5 especially for boys. I suggest saying nothing and leave this to his parents to address or wait till he matures out of it.

PamelaJ1 Tue 31-Jul-18 06:25:36

It will happen one day and you won’t have had so much washing or upset along the way.
Opt for the easy life.

BlueBelle Tue 31-Jul-18 06:36:34

Its not your call at all nannyjan you need do do what the parents want you to do The worst thing possible is to have one night a week not in line with the other six nights It is not unusual I had one granddaughter who was 11 before she was completely dry at night now she seems to have a bladder like a camel
So yes you are being unreasonable

harrigran Tue 31-Jul-18 08:27:32

One of my GC had to wear pull ups until quite old, a very deep sleeper and although lifted to go to toilet last thing, could not last through the night.
I would just follow instructions as it will save your bedding too.

sodapop Tue 31-Jul-18 08:42:12

Yes its really up to your daughter Nannyjan best not to make an issue out of this which may only cause stress all round. Children vary a great deal with toilet training especially at night, don't worry it will happen.

mcem Tue 31-Jul-18 09:07:32

Not your decision to make and a big mistake to make an issue of it with parents. Certainly no fuss or pressure on the wee lad.
Undersheet pads solve the laundry problem.
My GS had occasional accidents until he was 7. He has now grown out of it.

Luckygirl Tue 31-Jul-18 09:15:07

I think you were out of order to raise this with your son.

Put his night nappy on and say no more.

Luckygirl Tue 31-Jul-18 09:15:34

....your GS's night nappy of course.....grin

muffinthemoo Tue 31-Jul-18 09:22:03

I think you will end up with a load of wet bedlinen and quite possibly no more overnight stays with GS.

Especially if you were thinking of leaving him in the wet bed for any length of time. There is no way GS will not tell his parents and I do not think they will be happy about this.

Maybe it would be best if he stopped staying over until he is reliably night dry if this is causing you problems?

clementine Tue 31-Jul-18 09:24:35

I don't post very often but this particular post actually alarmed me, to deliberately go against a parent's wishes and also to let a little boy lie in a wet bed so he " knows what it's like" is dreadful. You have no idea what causes him not to have full bladder control, could be a medical problem . Certainly , if the parents want to try him without it, and treat is lightly and sympathetically if he does wet , is one thing, but to do it to let him suffer the indignity of it, is another thing entirely.

MawBroon Tue 31-Jul-18 09:49:24

It does seem draconian nannyjan2 and the sort of cruel treatment my late mother’s harsh stepmother used to mete out to her back in the 1920’s. Thank god those days are over. The tales we hear of elderly patients being left to lie in urine-soaked bedding in hospitals and care homes fill me with horror , how could you possibly inflict that on your grandson whom you love?

MawBroon Tue 31-Jul-18 09:54:04

On a more cheerful note DD had forgotten DGS’s “pull up”on a sleepover a while back, shops were shut but I popped next door to see if my neighbour with 2 little boys might help. She had no pull ups but could help out with a largest size nappy which DGS was not happy about as he saw it as babyish. I attempted to “assemble “ it first and we bribed him with the prospect of ice cream (awful I know!) next day if he would consent to “Granny’s special nappy”
With hindsight NOT the best choice of phrase! gringrin

Witzend Tue 31-Jul-18 10:19:14

I can imagine a child of 5 being very upset if he wet the bed. Better a pull up, surely?

I can still remember being very upset about wetting the bed at only 4, when staying with a relative when a sibling was born. Can still hear that aunt saying crossly, , 'You've wet the bed, haven't you?' It wasn't as I'd done it on purpose to annoy her!

EthelJ Tue 31-Jul-18 10:43:50

You should definitely put him in the pull up. Children become dry at different rates. When his body is ready he will be dry in the morning. If he is still wet he obviously isn't ready. There is no point distressing him by leaving it off and he is bound to tell his parents. He is their child so it is there decision.

henetha Tue 31-Jul-18 10:44:45

We all love our grandchildren very much, but they are not our children. It's up to the parents, not us.