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AIBU

Don’t call me ‘love’

(171 Posts)
Bridgeit Fri 10-Aug-18 17:21:53

What next, I have just read a brilliant article from Coleen Nolan, apparently Gatwick Airport staff have been told they must no longer call customers Love or Darling , she is quite rightly horrified & so am I .
It is the thin edge of the wedge IMO, what happened to freedom of speech & social interaction
Yes I know it can be said in a derogatory tone of voice, but generally speaking it’s harmless isn’t it?

Doversole Sun 12-Aug-18 12:20:34

I don't like it. I wish people wouldn't do it.
Another thing that gets my goat is people I don't know from Adam using my christian name e.g. NHS clinics - calling you forward for your appointment. It's patronising and presumptuous. and the excuse I've heard that some elderly people only respond when their christian name is bellowed at them is even more insulting. Grrrr.

Stella14 Sun 12-Aug-18 12:20:55

I cringe with irritation when I’m called love, pet etc. It will happen of course in friendly interactions in shops etc. However, I agree that staff at airports should behave more professionally. Madam and Sir is quite right there IMO.

Doversole Sun 12-Aug-18 12:22:45

Bijou - couldn't agree more !

Mic74 Sun 12-Aug-18 12:28:03

i absolutely hate, love, darling, lovey, dear etc. it just feels so patronising. daft I know, as I am sure people don't mean to upset. up to now, I have just bitten my tongue, but one day......

Kupari45 Sun 12-Aug-18 12:29:21

I live in the North East and I'm quite used to being addressed as "PET" by strangers, workmen etc. Doesnt bother me at all. However what does annoy me is being addressed as "DEAR" by younger retail staff. Sometimes I ask for my receipt in shops and the staff say "Can you use a computer Dear? if so we will send it e-mail. Or, can you get someone to fill in a customer satisfaction form online for you Dear.

Willow10 Sun 12-Aug-18 12:34:33

It makes me giggle when I'm down in Somerset and someone says 'Ello my Lover - what can I do for you?' (It's a long time since I was anybody's lover!) I'm happy to be called anything if it's said in a friendly way. What I do hate is those sing-songy patronising voices that keep saying 'No problem' and 'Bear with me' over and over again!

Willow10 Sun 12-Aug-18 12:36:54

Kupari45 - my favourite Auntie always called us Pet - it was lovely and I miss it!

Hm999 Sun 12-Aug-18 12:42:38

I remember being called hen by a Scottish dad at a parents' evening in Hampshire and thinking it was wonderful!

I just like people smiling at each other, and you're rarely called one of these affectionate names without a smile. (Btw I loathe being called madam)

GabriellaG Sun 12-Aug-18 12:48:59

Up north where I was born, girls and women were called 'queen' by all and sundry. I hope they still do.

GabriellaG Sun 12-Aug-18 12:49:39

* meant 'still are'

Framilode Sun 12-Aug-18 12:51:34

When I was living in Yorkshire 'luv' was used all the time, and I picked it up myself. I can remember speaking on the phone to my boss and I must have, inadvertently, called him 'luv'

I received a memo from him the next day saying 'I am not your love. I am your Regional Director.

BlueBelle Sun 12-Aug-18 13:04:17

My ex husband used to call me pet (he wasn’t even English so had picked it up from somewhere) anyway all his friends thought that was my name so everyone called me Pet I m getting on so it was around the time Pet Clarke was popular so I guess they thought I was a Petula My Nan was from Leicestershire so I was always used to m’ duck
No big problem with any of these but not keen on hun or babe from a stranger female but you have to go with the times not something I d really bother to get hot under the collar about to be honest

TellNo1Ok Sun 12-Aug-18 13:05:59

i do not want a person in a professional situation calling me love or darling....
miserable old git or what ... i don't care ...
i find it inappropriate patronising and irritating ...

BPJ Sun 12-Aug-18 13:12:26

My OH hates it when waiters come over and say "everything OK Guys" as she says a guy is by definition male, but it's the way they are taught..

Nvella Sun 12-Aug-18 13:54:40

No - I like it

instagran Sun 12-Aug-18 13:56:30

Even worse, "BABES"!

instagran Sun 12-Aug-18 13:59:23

Doversole is spot on. Too much over familiarity!

Maccyt1955 Sun 12-Aug-18 14:06:14

I would much rather be called “love” or “darling”, than “madam”, which I think sounds ageist, and unfriendly.
It is also very old fashioned. I once gave a supercilious shop assistant a jolt, when she called me this, saying “please don’t call me madam, it’s a dated expression, and it makes me feel old”.

SueDonim Sun 12-Aug-18 14:10:39

Where I live you might hear quine, hen, doll or lass/lassie. If you're male, you might be called loon, boy or lad/laddie.

I don't like hun or babe but it's not something that bothers me really.

I attended a graduation ceremony recently and I was struck by the opening address, which was 'Men and women...' in place of ladies & gentlemen.

I didn't quite know what to feel about that. It's more egalitarian and modern, but at least with the older styling females come first but now we're placed second!

Kathjohn32 Sun 12-Aug-18 14:13:38

I'm used to being called "love" as I'm from Lancashire but a lot depends on how it's said. What I don't like is charity collectors on the street who call out "Morning, love" when you walk past. They're usually middle-aged men and, if you don't respond for any reason, the thinly veiled sarcasm starts: "Oh well, have a nice day anyway." I'm afraid though that any younger man calling me love would sound a bit patronising to me.

Overthehills Sun 12-Aug-18 14:34:38

So glad to hear that “loon” and “quine” are used in your area too SueDonim!
I don’t mind anything (except hun and babe) as long as it’s said in a friendly way, and it usually is.
Like MissAdventure I miss my mother calling me love. sad

123kitty Sun 12-Aug-18 14:48:57

What a sad world some GNs. As different terms are used in each part of our country can't we try to understand they are just local words that have been passed down over the years. They are seldom meant as a patronising put-down to women of a certain age. Some of then sound strange to my ear, my duck and ducky particularly- but I think people are being friendly.

sharon103 Sun 12-Aug-18 15:16:20

Here in Northamptonshire it's m' duck with the older generation. Mate with the younger ones. I detest being called madam and stand hun. My neighbour used to call me sweet pea. lol

sharon103 Sun 12-Aug-18 15:17:57

Ooops, that should say can't stand hun

sarahellenwhitney Sun 12-Aug-18 15:18:37

Then Cornwall would not be for those who dislike being referred to as love where 'Luver' is frequently used being part and parcel of Cornish life.