My daughter never wants to Skype

sarahellenwhitney I agree- I don't want my children to make contact out of duty. I only want to hear from them when they want to contact me. I think a goodnight message is so thoughtful and nice. I would love that. Tbh sometimes I can't think of new things to chat to my son about lol.

We do Skype or Face Time but for the grandchildren , I write every week to each, just a postcard but they love them. I send them a pip box too that goes through the letterbox with something I found that they might like or sweeties.

I message my daughters and find that short conversations are always easier than anything lengthy. We all use FB to keep up to date with each others lives.

I think this is just the way communications are going.

There have always been 60 seconds in 1 minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, 365/6 days in a year, yet people seem to have no time. Busy busy busy. My parents were never 'too busy' to chat although dad worked long hours. We had a nice comfortable home, plenty of home cooking/baking, good clothes, plenty of toys, bikes, scooters, books, great (UK) holidays and outdoor activities yet nowadays I read that people have no time. Modern appliances, devices, cleaning products and easy-care materials, were and are supposed to ease the burden of housework. Why then are today's ACs too busy to make 1 x 15 minute call once a week?

Our family abroad are always busy and chaotic so Skyping can be hard work and seems formal - we use Whatsapp with DS and DDIL, photos and videos, now DGD has own phone, same again and she adds all sorts of extras on the pics that we have no idea how to do! Instagram too for family photos and videos. They have just visited and I'm posting a DVD with the holiday pics and videos I took. I also try to send a 'Granny's parcel' every 1-2 months with chatty letter (with cartoons), chocs, English books etc.

My son who is in South Africa skypes me every Wednesday at 8pm my time, 9pm his time. We do not use the webcams so it’s nothing visual, just like a phone call except that it’s free. I look forward to these calls and make a note during the week of what to mention and ask.

Try not to make it a chore for them to contact you. Time differences can make Skype very difficult. Most of my relatives live on a different continent, and I hardly every get to speak to them.

Ask your daughter what methods of communication work best for her, and then try and use those. I kept in touch with my mother by email and Facebook, as well as very occasional skype chats. I certainly contacted her at least once a week, and made loads of photos available over Facebook. I'm still sad my son never got to meet her, but he did know who she was. He wasn't quite 2 yet when she died.

I have both my daughter's in the US and Oz. With 2 dcg in u.s both adult now and 2 little ones in oz.
I have skyped with the older ones when they were younger and it was agony, as they were not very good at communicating and my dd tried to keep the conversation going
The younger dgc live in oz and I used to get up early every Sunday morning to Skype and get upset if they never answered.
I then got on with my life and I an not so demanding on my busy families and we get on so much better
I do miss them though x

I do understand why some people dislike skype but I manage about once a month to have a good chat with my sister abroad; there is a four hour time difference but we email beforehand to fix a good time to do it.
My son lives 200 miles away but he used to regularly skype every month and would ensyre that the children were around to also have a little chat with me. My DIL would never join in , just wave at the end. They divorced last year and she has now blocked me from emailing or phoning or skyping them so I do miss having that contact with them . My son calls me every week and can sometimes be chatting for up to an hour, but as he is now on his own he has more time I suppose. My very busy daughter lives 40 mins away and She can also chat for ages but its not every week , and I dont expect it as she has 2 children and a full time job. I see them about every 3 weeks for a meal or shopping etc.
I do think the whatsapp group thing is a great idea and use it to keep in touch with extended family.
I would love to have facetime as both my sisters use it but I am not with Apple.

My DS and his family FaceTime once a week, sometimes more. My DGS are 3 and 1 and chat away to Granny on the IPad propped up in the corner of the sofa. Sometimes I'm carried into the playroom while they play. Sometimes my daughter and I are in the kitchen preparing a meal while we chat. We also communicate almost daily via our family Whatsapp group and receive photos and videos which get saved to the cloud and I can replay them on my computer screen in hi def. We see them on birthdays and holidays either on screen or in rl which is great. I think it's the best way for us.

My 4 ACs are scattered across England, Germay and Singapore but they keep up their normal level of rude and outrageous banter in a family Whatsapp group. It helps us all feel connected.

Skype never seems to work for us, it keeps crashing and when it does work the quality is poor. So we Text and email and occasionally phone, and I regularly exchange letters with one of my GDs who loves to receive letters. Because we live by the sea I also send seaside postcards with brief messages which the kids are saving and arranging as a collage on their bedroom wall.

I have a similar situation with my son but once we do make contact, via FaceTime rather than Skype, because it is far more reliable, it is lovely. My two grandchildren are incredible considering how young they are, and they will chat, show me their latest games etc and I just have to reconcile that they are busy busy and I’m retired.

My grandson (the one I am allowed to see at all) is lovely when we do a whatsapp video chat. He's 19 months and as soon as my face appears he breaks into a broad grin and starts kissing the screen. I have to interrupt his display of affection if I want to actually talk to him! I hope he grows out of this effusiveness before he's a teen or it really will be a bit too weird!

Farmore15 I think has the right idea. I have WhatsApp set up for each child (3) plus a family group one. It seems to be how they communicate. You can take a picture of a delicious cake you are about to eat and send it to your daughter with a comment like Isn't this looking delicious, bet you're jealous, or some other scene with a comment like, isn't this beautiful. They can look at it at their leisure and comment if they wish. Even a selfie, do you like my new .... Try it. No pressure on them. I'm not as good as Henetha, never tried videos or voicemail.

I do think Skype can feel a bit like hospital visiting. Everyone sits there forcing conversation.
My DC are students. One Skypes and happily talks for an hour while the other did it once, and now just messages.

It's different for you though OP as you are so far away. Messages are fine but you just want to see their faces sometimes

A few words about Skype......It can be a wonderful way to connect with loved ones, especially when they live far away.

Having said that, I don't like being 'skyped' without advance notice. It's like having visitors show up suddenly and unnanounced.

I've been 'Skyped' dying my hair while wearing a shower cap and a ratty, old nightdress (ignored the caller, of course). Another time, we were caught clad in our pijamas, still recovering from the flu.

Some people hate Skyping for that very reason. Perhaps we just need some sensible 'rules of engagement'. I'm all for scheduling Skype sessions ahead of time or a traditional call first, before asking someone if they would like to visit via Skype. Not considerate at all to catch people by surprise when they feel they're at their worst.

My son and his family live in Australia. We Skype most Sunday's at 8.30am for us and it is 5.30pm for them. Often the children who are aged 10 and 7, are tired and grumpy by then or waiting for their evening meal. Some weeks they are just not in the mood at all. I am trying to get round to suggesting that we do it less often and maybe make it a spontaneous thing if one notices the other is on line. I don't want to upset them but I guess as the children get older they will be less likely to want to do it anyway.

I hate Skype. All I can see is my old chin looking back at them. Filming a vid to send to them and they send back sounds cool.

Personally, I think that all of today's 'too busy', is just a way of saying you're not important enough to waste MY precious time on!! I love my family to bits, but have realised that I'm just not that important to them. I think on the whole that we have raised a generation of selfish kids, who because they're too lazy to make the effort, and we all forgive them because we're so desperate for a crumb of affection, will continue to treat us badly.

Now I'm sure that's going to cause a lot of you to message saying what angels your kids are, and I'm sure some of them are, but there are also a lot of them who, let's face it only care about themselves and their needs, and not those of the older generation. I just hope that they reap what they sow!

Sorry folks, rant over!

Time2 good for you! There is so much truth in what you say. No matter who disagrees.

I find FaceTime vastly better than Skype for contacting my son and family who keep moving round the world

Yes, what did we do before all the technology we have now.
When my daughter was travelling in the early 90s she phoned me from a call box in Darwin.
Obviously she didn't have the money for a long call so asked me to call her back ( to a phone box in Australia
She gave me the No, I got onto BT and told them what I wanted. Their initial reaction was: mmm, don't know if we can do that, bless them, it took a while but they did it.
Mind you, the connection cost £40 and the call £50. But worth every penny.

Gosh, a lot of money!