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AIBU

MIL painted my house whilst I was in hospital

(174 Posts)
muffinthemoo Sun 19-Aug-18 12:38:33

Oh, it’s not even that big a deal, I know, but I beg indulgence to blow off a little steam about it...!

Have been stuck in hospital all weekend. (More pregnancy complications. Baby is fine.)

ILs came down to “help DH with the children” yesterday. More than fair enough; he never has them on his own and needed help.

Except the babies were left unfed for six hours whilst MIL... painted my kitchen?? We only moved in a couple of weeks ago, all the unpacking isn’t anywhere near unfinished, amd also DH knew from our discussions I had no plans to redecorate kitchen until next year?

I’ve been sent photos where the inside of my kitchen cupboards has been glossed white and my walls are now magnolia? I hate magnolia as DH knows well.

Also... it’s my house, should I not at least be consulted on whether or not it gets decorated? I really enjoy decorating and now the relatively recent decoration of the previous owners which was nice has been replaced by budget magnolia?

I’m flabbergasted, AIBU? This seems so weird!

PamelaJ1 Sun 19-Aug-18 12:41:12

I envy your mil her energy😃
But very odd.

Jalima1108 Sun 19-Aug-18 12:46:58

inside of the cupboards glossed white? hmm

Magnolia is for people who can't make up their minds - at least that bit will be clean and fresh smile and you can paint over it when you decide what colour you want.
but not feeding the children? another hmm

I have a young relative whose first MIL used to go in and re-arrange the furniture when she was at work.

MawBroon Sun 19-Aug-18 12:48:44

I may envy your MIL her energy but not her chutzpah.
If your BP is sky high I should not be at all surprised.
If finances permit I would book a decorator to remedy the damage forthwith.

Other than that, speechless!

muffinthemoo Sun 19-Aug-18 12:52:37

It’s not just me then, other people also think painting inside kitchen cupboards is weird?? Never seen that done before shock

The thing is we do intend to redo the girls’ new room by Christmas, so if she really wanted to paint specifically, there was actually a room to be painted. Just... not the kitchen??

I’m not getting stressed out over it - things are bad enough healthwise already - and it’s done now, but randomly painting someone else’s house sems so weird to me.

DH does not have any explanation for this even though he was apparently in the house the whole time? I feel like I would pass comment if I saw my mum go for my walls with a brush and a tin of Dulux?

FlexibleFriend Sun 19-Aug-18 12:53:32

Personally I'd repaint it as soon as even if I had to pay someone to do it.
Does your Husband do these things to wind you up? Or is he spineless where his Mum is concerned?

loopyloo Sun 19-Aug-18 12:53:40

And bringing a new baby home to a newly painted house? Not a good idea. I would be furious.

FlexibleFriend Sun 19-Aug-18 12:54:10

Sorry no you're not being unreasonable, far too tolerant by half.

muffinthemoo Sun 19-Aug-18 12:54:58

I am super p*ssed that there were three adults in the house and no one fed my girls though. That I am definitely not being unreasonable about. The house is full of food.

MawBroon Sun 19-Aug-18 12:56:24

Give them the rocket they deserve! But mind your BP x

humptydumpty Sun 19-Aug-18 12:59:01

Odd thing to do, but since you were intending to update the kitchen next year it doesn't make any difference, does it? - maybe she just thought it would look better for you until the update...?

Baggs Sun 19-Aug-18 13:03:51

Did the kids not get grouchy when they were hungry? If they did and no-one fed them, I agree it's awful, but well-fed kids doing without food for six hours is not going to do them any lasting harm.

The painting while you were in hospital is well wacky.

Maggiemaybe Sun 19-Aug-18 13:06:13

I think your MIL has the cheek of the devil, muffin! I’d be mad as hell. But even more puzzling is your DH not just stopping her. confused And not feeding the children? Are you sure this really happened, or has one of your DC’s got the same vivid imagination my DGS all seem to have?

muffinthemoo Sun 19-Aug-18 13:06:55

I honestly have no idea, I am genuinely at a loss to explain or understand. It seems such a leftfield thing to do?

The kitchen is high gloss white units and black worktops - only a year old and too expensive for me to pull out next year as it is high quality stuff. It looks so much worse against the magnolia than the previous dusky lilac did.

I am certain I never told her when I planned to redecorate each room, either. I mean I suppose at least she didn’t strip any wallpaper?

I don’t know why I am trying so hard to rationalise this confused I think because it would never have occurred to me to redecorate her house except under her express instruction?

Grannyknot Sun 19-Aug-18 13:08:47

Who reported the detail to you that the kids went unfed for 6 hours? Was it maybe 5 1/2?

As for the painting, it's a bit odd, but as you say yourself, not that big a deal. I'd be, like, shrug. And redo them when I got around to it.

MawBroon Sun 19-Aug-18 13:15:02

I disagree, it IS a big deal. Thete’s “A lovely surprise” and there is OMG.
Do you remember Changing Rooms?
One woman actually wept and it was not with joy either.
Magnolia with white units?
😱😱😱

loopyloo Sun 19-Aug-18 13:17:21

Muffin, I think you need to say something like... I appreciate you were trying to help me but please don't do it again, without asking me first.

grumppa Sun 19-Aug-18 13:17:48

How can anyone shrug off a MIL who behaves like that?

SueDonim Sun 19-Aug-18 13:18:18

You're a better person than me, Muffin! grin I'd be incandescent with rage about that and especially not giving the wee ones some food.

ninathenana Sun 19-Aug-18 13:24:04

White high gloss units against magnolia walls shock must look awful.
You are right to be annoyed. I think it's an unbelievable cheek.

kathsue Sun 19-Aug-18 13:29:57

From what you've said about your mil before she seems very controlling and not interested in anyone else's opinions or feelings.
I'd get the kitchen repainted as soon as you can or it'll be a constant reminder of her insensitivity.
Also, try to teach your DH a little about childcare.
Good luck with your pregnancyflowers.

Greyduster Sun 19-Aug-18 13:39:31

I am with all those who said what the hell was your DH doing while all this ignoring of unfed children and painting was going on? Did he not have the whit to say “Hang on a mo; she might not want this, let’s not do it!” And magnolia? I would shoot anyone who brought magnolia paint into my house, having suffered it in all the Army quarters we ever lived in. The powers in charge of decorative good order paraphrased Henry Ford - “You can have any colour as long as it is Magnolia!” But to be honest, what would have upset me more is that she glossed the inside of the kitchen cabinets. I hope she taped up the edges before she started!!

OldMeg Sun 19-Aug-18 13:44:31

Blimey! Lost for words.

merlotgran Sun 19-Aug-18 13:48:41

I'd be flipping furious. Nobody has the right to inflict their bad taste on your home. angry

FlexibleFriend Sun 19-Aug-18 13:53:49

It must have taken her hours to do as well, even if she used quick drying gloss. They probably didn't feed the kids due to the disruption in the kitchen but they could have ordered a takeaway.
You MIL is one strange woman.