MIL painted my house whilst I was in hospital

You are a saint op.

I am lost for words

And you need to sort out your husband ...

Goodluck with everything muffin and I agree with Jalima it does sound like nest building!
Please dont overdo it though, those babies need you fit and well.

I'm in awe of your ability to remain so well balanced. Your mum is at least consistent, not necessarily in a good way but consistent never the less.
Hope everything goes smoothly from now on.

Well done!.
At least I didn't have to iron my curtains!

I would say sometime between this weekend and next. If I was betting on my consultant, which is a fool’s game. So I have a few days to get done what I can.

I send all my curtains to be cleaned, I’m not above outsourcing tough jobs

taken not taking

Well done, you sound as if you're getting over the shock of the kitchen and remaining calm, which is essential now.

How much longer until B-Day? Approximately, I mean - bearing in mind that my No 3 was two weeks early and I had taking the curtains down to wash them, then went in!

Batch cooking sounds like nest-building to me ...

( To give you a laugh: I spoke to mum about Friday and her answer was “You really are desperate, I know, but I’m planning on getting my eyebrows threaded that morning and then that’s when I read Grazia”.... thanks mum )
Way to go, Mum!
Seriously, you sound as if you have got everything very well- organised. Good luck with the baby!

Hello friends. Thanks for all you’ve written. Have been reading and thinking on it the last few days. Quite a few things there I needed to read and challenge my thinking!

I asked my auntie to take care of the wee ones on Friday for me. Not as some kind of “punishment” for ILs or anything mad like that, just felt it might be a better idea to avoid the issue of the redecoration coming up when DH isn’t there....!

I’m a bit worried about what might be decided on Friday anyway and I think it would be better if I wasn’t thinking about what’s going on at home whilst I’m up at hospital. Auntie is babysitting my brother’s new puppy this week amd the girls are infatuated with him, so they will have a good time running about there. They will see ILs over the weekend I imagine.

Had a helpful talk with DH who has succumbed to new home fever and wants to be decorating on a faster timescale than I had envisaged. Have agreed to work on a couple of rooms that aren’t currently being heavily used and he will get someone in to help him as I will not be able to do as much of it as usual. So I am picking out wallpapers, paints etc. Ordering some more furniture as well. Did a big list of jobs and prioritised it so if the urge to be ‘productive’ strikes there will be agreed things getting done!

The gloss is being taken off the inside of the units by BIL. I got the worktops clean with many many careful washes. The carpet has cleaned up okay but am thinking of getting a professional clean done of it whilst that room is still empty.

The further redecoration of the kitchen is being left well alone for the moment as I can only manage so much disruption right now though!

I’m doing a bunch of batch cooking and freezing it today so there’s plenty of ‘ready meals’ if I’m off my feet or away for a while. I usually have a good stock but ran it down in preparation for the move.

Mostly just trying to get everything in order before D Day. I am struggling but I will get there!

(To give you a laugh: I spoke to mum about Friday and her answer was “You really are desperate, I know, but I’m planning on getting my eyebrows threaded that morning and then that’s when I read Grazia”.... thanks mum)

I think it a huge deal and it needs tackling now. Insist on having it redone and make sure that she understands that she is never to do that sort of thing again.

Dear Muffin having read a number of your posts you appear to have the extended family from hell not to mention numerous serious health issues. Have you thought of moving to another country? The Moon or Mars could be looking very attractive.

I'm a very big supporter of family involvement but at what point do your say "Enough! I'm out of here". How do you stay sane? Are there ANY positives in keeping your truly ghastly relatives in your life? I think you deserve a Nobel Peace Prize or maybe for Literature when you eventually write your survivor story. Good luck. ??

Exactly right eazybee. I just hope her MIL behaves when the new baby arrives.

It seems to me that Muffin is understandably emotionally and physically exhausted, and constant reminders of how outraged she should be aren't actually helpful at this time. She needs some cherishing.
When the baby is here and all the boxes are unpacked, then she can take issue with her family, her house and the interior design. Not now.

Waves to trisher and says - well said, this is 2018 not 1818 and its right to expect men to do their share of domestic work and child care.
Where are the children in all this conflict and passive aggressive behaviour? Planning to leave when the youngest is 18 doesn't sound like a positive life strategy. It all sounds highly stressful and in need of boundaries on all sides.

Jalima1108,
Good idea, then get the children to do the same in MIL's kitchen.

What a cheek, well meant maybe, but not while you are in Hospital, what was the rush, she could have waited and asked you if you wanted anything painting.You dont say how old she is, she may be a young MIL with lots of energy but it still doesnt give her any right to do what she did.

beware of her taking control. tell her thanks but no thanks i dont like that colour. stop it now.

I would send her a message something like "Thank you for redecorating my kitchen. Unfortunately it's going to cost me quite a lot to remove what you did".

So Heather23 it's ok for the MILto basically trash the OP's kitchen andp
drawing room because she had good intentions??

Maybe the OP should borrow and trash the mils car...

Pass the time by buying those dear little Farrow and Ball sample pots and covering the magnolia wall with colours you might like one day
Good idea, then get the children to do the same in MIL's kitchen.

I don't know your circumstances and how well you are muffin but we did manage with Number Three without any help whatsoever from mothers or indeed from anyone.

For what it is worth, my mother in law always had the inside of her kitchen cupboards painted, both in the house and in the caravan, but it was a long time ago when fitted kitchens were not as beautifully made as they are now.
I think you must ignore it, and the painting, and the mess and focus on you, your well-being and your baby. Seriously.
I don't know how long it is until the birth of your child, but postpone discussions about painting, boundaries and your husband's role and responsibilities until after the birth of your baby and concentrate purely on you. Pass the time by buying those dear little Farrow and Ball sample pots and covering the magnolia wall with colours you might like one day; your kitchen sounds lovely, so take your time to do it justice. Your children will survive your time in hospital; (could close friends help?) then when you are all back together you can decide how to approach the problems with what seems to be your entire immediate family, after you have decided on the decor of your kitchen.

I think ajanela has got it right - some mothers seem to struggle to let their sons go. My MiL handed a card addressed only to my OH on our wedding anniversary. That was bad enough but it was our Ruby Wedding anniversary!

I think ajanela has hit the nail on the head. She was painting her son's kitchen in what she felt he should like. My ml felt that anything in our house was her son's and by default hers so dug up plants, went through cupboards and felt it was perfectly ok.

What were they doing?
Presumably DH couldn't get into the kitchen to make any food because MIL was splashing the gloss around