MIL painted my house whilst I was in hospital

you just need to relax now, if you can, leave the cleaning until later when you have had he baby. Better still tell OH that HE has to clean up, with mil. If not then they will just have to pay for a cleaner. Don't do the cleaning.

Oh yes , send them with poster paints , aprons and large paint brushes and ( accidently ) forget the paper

I have booked a big professional clean. I do this a few times a year anyway for the corners I can’t reach. I had hoped to get more than two weeks after the last one before booking this one but to h*ll with it.

aggie don’t tempt me

Or baking at Granny's?
DGD managed to get sugar strands all over the kitchen when she was decorating fairy cakes.
(I learnt my lesson that time!)

And I hadn't put the lid back on the blender once when she turned it on when we were making smoothies.
Another lesson learned.

They could have a lovely time at Granny's.

I'm sure that this stems from thinking that others 'should want' what we think they 'should have' ie gloss painted cupboard interiors, magnolia walls! We may all have done it in small ways eg I gave DD1 a mug tree and kitchen roll holder for worktop, and DD2 a food compost caddy for worktop, but that's minor compared to the painting!. I know a MIL who has twice filled a hired van with 'stuff' that she thinks both DS's and DIL's should have, and drives 200 miles to their homes. This has resulted in some coolness between them.

Good for you muffin, you are standing up for yourself and taking control.

I don't understand how you and your DH are managing to parent your children at all. It seems he does nothing most of the time and then does exactly what you don't want him to do when he has them. Your MIL may be awful but she is the least of your worries, working out how to raise your children and making sure your DH does his fair share would seem to be much more important to me. Forget the professional clean. give him the equipment and set him to work, then if his mother ever touches a paint brush again he might say something.

Makes you want to wait until MIL goes on extended absence, so you can paint her front door same color as your kitchen! (just kidding)

Muffin I am full of admiration! I hope they all realise how lucky they are with you.
I wish you well and hope the coming birth goes well and you knock them all into shape. They surely need it!!

The only thing that surprises me Muffin is that you are surprised. Your tale of woe on the thread www.gransnet.com/forums/ask_a_gran/1251089-Daughter-in-law?msgid=26819468 must have alerted you to what your inlaws were like, surely? They seem to walk all over your feelings.
It seems that you are really suffering from people who respect you: www.gransnet.com/forums/chat/1251015-mum-s-refusing-to-see-GC-as-a-punishment-for-me.
Do you think that when you have more time, you might benefit from Assertiveness Training? I think people quite often realise who they can mess with and who they can't.
If it were me, I would not just take my children to an Aunts for tea leaving my husband to fend for himself without saying exactly why. That is passive aggressive behaviour but quietly telling him that he can jolly well fend for himself because he seems to expect the children to do the same could be seen as assertive.

When you're looking after children feeding them is the main thing you have to do. Painting someone's kitchen without prior discussion is utterly ridiculous and completely out of order.
Baggs - I loved your comment that doing this was"well wacky". Made me laugh.

I'd have exploded.

Sounds like she wanted to give you a big treat. You can easily overpaint the magnolia.

Your mother-in-law is out of order. How and when your kitchen is decorated is your decision not hers. Maybe she did it with good intention and thought it would be a nice surprise for you? Idon't know. But if it happened to me I would be very irritated.

It was a strange way of trying to be helpful, if that was her intention. When I took my Guides to camp, some years ago. I returned to find that my DH had painted the outside of the house, "as a nice surprise for you!"
Unfortunately he has absolutely no taste when it comes to decorating, and he had chosen yellow and cornflower blue! It certainly brightened up the neighbourhood. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I hated it, so it was some years before it was re-painted. Guess who chose the colour!

Muffin

Thanks for making the effort in replying to everyone after what must have been a stressful time. Don't let what happened yesterday, colour today. You need to take extra care of yourself and smile. These things are trying but hey, you have much to look forward to and we'll be all agog to hear all went well on 'the day' and any baby names you have in mind.
Men just don't think of feeding and nappies as we women do but that's been the story for thousands? of years.
Feet up as often as you can and dust and ironing can wait. I hope you have some help.
Take care...

When I was in hospital having DD1, my then- husband had black carpet laid throughout the house " as a surprise". When I exclaimed with horror at his colour choice he explained that " he thought it wouldn't show the dirt" !

For the next years I was saddled with those damned black carpets which, of course, showed every mark.

Brilliantly said GabriellaG. I second that.

I think your MIL was painting her son's kitchen not yours. In her mind it is his house, his kitchen and his children not yours.

I think we use to paint the inside of cupboards gloss before easy clean finishes but that was a long time ago.

As a fellow MiL I do have some sympathy for yours Muffinthemoo. She must have thought she was being helpful and that you would be suitably surprised (in a positive way!). I totally agree it is OTT but surely done with the best of intentions. Let it go, concentrate on your health and children and don't give DH too hard a time - after all, he has had a life-time of MiL (and you will need her on side when the next baby arrives). Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and magnolia can be quite restful and often a stop-gap til you decide what colour you actually want - presumably MiL thought lilac totally inappropriate for a kitchen. She needs to be reminded, that it is YOUR kitchen and not hers though! Any chance you could get revenge and do something similar when/if she is on holiday???

How very rude of her! I understand that in laws like to help - but ASK FIRST!

My first mil moved all my ornamants and chairs around when I was at work. Ex husband said nothing and didn't move them back before I got home.

Second mil decided to help strip paper from the wall and left bloody great scrape marks all over the plaster with the kitchen knife she was using. Again, DH (we are still married despite her) said nothing.

These things are sent to try us for sure!

Make sure to give the children their craft things to take to granny's house, plenty of glue and glitter and big bottles of paint.
My GD is very much into cake decoration and likes to spray her creations with edible glittery dust. I let her do this now and then but it gets everywhere ;-)

GabriellaG Men just don't think of feeding and nappies as we women do but that's been the story for thousands? of years.
FFS if someone said that about one of my DSs I would give them a good kick up the a**e. And if one of my DSs even thought that they would get exactly the same treatment. It's the 21st century not the 1800s, women can vote and men can change nappies.

Quite apart from the bizarre redecoration issue, I don't understand why children were not fed when there were other adults in the house. What were they doing?

What were they doing?
Presumably DH couldn't get into the kitchen to make any food because MIL was splashing the gloss around