Why am I embarrassed?

NB the above is a joke not an incitement to crime! (just in case)

Oh dear Marie. I’ve a similar house to yours, yes, it is so embarrassing. If you have a next door but one neighbour presumably they’ll hear it too. In my case when I mentioned the ‘man sex’ [the guy next door and his boyf sounded like grunting bears!] to my NDB1 neighbours, they seemed relieved that they weren't the only ones hearing it and said they’d bang on the wall and presumably did because it went much quieter. Also my neighbours who used to live at the other side were having a regular Sunday afternoon session with the bedroom window wide open when my daughter visited. We sat in the garden, the familiar sounds started, daughter turned to me and in her usual loud, clear voice, said, ‘What’s that noise?’ It stopped instantly. Then she exclaimed in same usual loud, clear voice, ‘Well THAT didn’t last very long!’ Problem solved! It still makes me giggle.

I'd play Je t'aime. followed by the 1812 Symphony followed by William Tell and after a fifteen minutes pause the crying baby. Perhaps drop a few bottles into the recycling after the baby recording has finished. By then they should be thoroughly aware of what it is like to be kept awake by noisy neighbours.

Bookcases make good sound insulation.

I often go to bed with radio or listening book on, which switches itself off after an hour

Marieeliz there's an app you can get that plays white noise. My DD has used it for the DGC to block out noise from within and without the house. Not sure what it's called but have a look on the store for whichever OS you're on (iStore or Google Play?)

When I was in an upstairs flat, my neighbour told me she could hear everything.
She said "and yes, I do mean EVERYTHING!"

We played Airplanes at War full blast. Soon stopped their noise. In fact most of the neighbours were looking skywards

You could try knocking on the wall at the most inopportune moment whilst mimicking her?

Actually I know this is not really funny and can be so annoying and yes embarrassing also.

I did chuckle though remembering a small hotel some years ago where the noise from above was deafening, not only screaming but bed squeaking and ceiling shaking... It went on literally for hours! My old aunt even got up and made a cup of tea . When it quietened down she said....thank God ..but then it started up again and always one up for a laugh auntie said I've got the MEET this stud.

Next morning at breakfast she worked out who it was (Miss Marple has nothing on auntie) and we were surprised to find they had a child in the room
with them. Auntie smilingly asked the child if his daddy was hard of hearing (hoping the man would get the message) but the child piped up "He's not my daddy, my daddy is in prison" Exit auntie leaving some red faces but it appeared to cure the nocturnal noises - probably fell out and left ha ha ha.

Play Ravel's Bolero very loudly.

Ravel's Bolero might even speed up the tempo and get the whole thing over sooner.

Marieeliz You poor girl! This is horrible! It seems wrong to me that you should have to buy sound-proofing or use earplugs (they always hurt my ears or make them itchy) when it is not you who is making the problem.

If nobody has caused such interference with your sleep before, including children next door, it sounds to me as if they are exceeding the noise level which is acceptable between neighbours. There are many web pages of advice mainly aimed at noisy neighbours, almost all citing parties as the cause. I found www.problemneighbours.co.uk/noisy-neighbours.html quite good. It advises speaking to the neighbours calmly and politely first. But it does say;
"However, no one has the legal right to make someone else’s life a misery through excessive noise, so don't feel guilty about Contacting Your Local Environmental Health Department or even the police, if you strongly suspect that by confronting the issue directly yourself, you could be putting yourself at risk of harm in any way."

You need your sleep. You say you have lived in your house for some time with different neighbours and had no problems. This, to me, is a good indication that you have neighbours now who are exceeding the noise level that is acceptable.

Try to ignore the content of the noise. The fact that it is their sex life that is noisy is not relevant. It is the noise level that matters.

I do hope you get some good results soon. Wishing you lots of luck and some good sleep!

We had this problem when in a ground floor flat, daughter a teenager; above her room was a couple having very audible sex, she absolutely hated it. I looked into sound insulation but it seems to be the case that noise travels down, as well as through, walls, so it's very difficult. I also thought wall-sized bookcases might help. Very best of luck. Some people are really very selfish, if they realise you can hear.

I had lodgers once, and one guy who had his girlfriend visiting was so overactive with her that a bit of the ceiling below started hanging down and I had to replaster the wall where he'd driven her knees through it! I gave him notice.

I suppose it's all about finding something that would put them off - maybe children's songs, one after another (Danny Kaye sang quite a few) or the sound of a very loud police siren?
YouTube might have recordings of funny animal noises or you could record the sound of balloons deflating -that always makes me laugh.

I got so fed up with it once that I took a shoe and banged the adjoining wall very heavily several times.

How long does it go on ? If she has got herself a young stud of 20 then I don't think you have an option other than earplugs .Even studs need a break and as you may already be awake then when all is quiet blast away with your cleaner or the radio. If she says anything then tell her when she can keep the noise down then so will you.

Tillybelle Would sexual over enthusiasm and even a neighbours crying child, not a baby , which we had to put up with many years ago, count when it comes to what is acceptable where noise levels are concerned?

Slightly off subject, I have mostly elderly neighbours so loud noise is rarely a problem in my flat.
Unfortunately, the dear old couple who live beneath me have a habit, especially in the early hours of the morning, of breaking wind with the most amazing volume and duration!
I don’t suppose I can really complain about that, poor souls!
Maybe I’ll just ‘answer back’ once in a while

I agree with Cherrytree. I'd want to build on an extra stud wall with sound absorbing insulation behind it. You would lose a little space but worth it.

A 'stud' wall sounds very appropriate.

Marieeliz it sounds to me like you are dreading the weekends before they even arrive. you are getting yourself in a state worrying about it.No 1 find a good film to watch or soft music before you retire.No 2 take a couple of Calms tablets,or Valerine tablets all available from chemist or thlle same as me,from Simply Supplements.None addictive,all veg derived.& No 3 if all else fails make an appointment with your GP.No need to say why,just explain you are restless & awake most of the nights.Or how about this,if you do bump into your neighbour,casually say you keep having strange dreams now & again,mostly at the weekends.I keep dreaming Im working on a pig farm,and the pigs are nonstop snorting & grunting away.Ive told them I will turn them into sausages if they don`t quieten down,only trouble is they are to quick for me to catch them.Oh well i`m bound to get the same dream again next weekend,maybe they will be quieter this time. Good luck.

Friends with a similar problem covered the shared wall with book shelves and filled them with books. Books are good at cutting out sound and it worked. If you have room for this, you might want to consider it. Otherwise, I am sure you can buy sound proofing materials from a DIY shop or builder's merchants. Good luck!

Thank you Apricity. I have just spent a happy half an hour watching various Flashmobs (that were on You Tube after the 1812). Enjoyed the remedies too. Hope the poster gets some satisfaction and a few laughs.

Years and years ago, newly married, I was camping with my then husband in the Scottish Borders. It was a small site, mostly used by families with young children, and everyone settled down well before 11. Around midnight a young couple arrived on a motorbike, pitched their tent very close to ours, and then had very noisy sex. They packed up and left very early the next morning, before most of the campers were up. I got some very odd stares in the communal wash house that morning, and realised everyone thought it was us! That was enough to ensure a very chaste stay on that particular campsite.