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Fear for Daughters Labour

(30 Posts)
basslady Tue 25-Sep-18 17:43:29

Im pretty sure I am being unreasonable but I keep getting the terrible “what ifs” about my daughters upcoming labour / birth of her first DD next week. I keep up a relaxed, cheerful encouraging demeanor but I am quaking inside quite oftetn. I have 4 DGD’s from my sons and ofcourse I was concerned my D’sIL had positive births, but this one is mega scary as its my DD and baby

Any suggestions that I could try to keep busy when she goes into Labour ? If she wants help I’ll be great but if she and partner are happy alone ( at hosp ) I think im going be demented until I know they are both ok. Im normally a really sensible person but this has taken me by surprise. Was anyone else the same ?

Grannyben Sun 14-Oct-18 21:15:15

It seems unthinkable to say only be told when it's all over, and mum and baby are safely tucked up but, it's not a bad suggestion. My own dd had the most terrible labour (all ended beautifully) and my mind was in turmoil for 3 days. It didn't help that I'm on my own and, because her blood wasn't clotting, I thought we had lost her. In the end I rang the hospital, expecting to speak sensibly but, as soon as the midwife spoke I blurted out "I think my daughters bleed to death". oh the shame of it! Thankfully I had the most wonderful human being speaking to me and she reassured me everything was just fine.
I can honestly say I never thought to tell them to not inform me but, in the event of a second baby, I will do so.
Basslady , I wish you and your dd the very best of luck.

Starlady Mon 15-Oct-18 02:17:35

First, basslady, let me say, it's refreshing to hear from a mum who doesn't really want to know about her dd's labour. So often one hears of a mum or mil who's offended that she wasn't called the minute labour began or invited to be in the delivery room. Good for you for caring more about the mum-to-be than yourself!

I think you've been given a lot of good advice here. I'm glad you're going to take on a knitting project or something. And I truly hope they don't tell you when dd goes into hospital, unless she feels she needs you there. Otherwise, I hope they don't call you till baby is actually here.

I know it's hard to think of dd going through labour. Been there with my own dd and know how it feels. One of the things that helped me was to remember that, hey, I got through it , and if I could, so could she. Maybe that will work for you, too.

Meanwhile, congratulations to all on the coming baby! Once baby is here, there will, I'm sure, be much joy!

newgran2019 Sat 08-Dec-18 17:05:29

I've just seen my daughter for the last time before she gives birth in a month, 250 miles away, and I feel a little teary, as part of me longs to be with her and is faintly hurt not to have been asked, yet I know it's a special time for her and her husband, they don't need me, and I wouldn't have wanted my mother anywhere near me when in labour! I am a worrier and DD is a haemophilia carrier so could have bleeding problems, so it will be interesting to see whether they let us know when labour begins.

glammanana Sat 08-Dec-18 17:20:07

I totally understand how you feel basslady I was exactly the same with my DD when she had her babies but she was a natural when it came to childbirth.
My DIL who was expecting at the exact same time as gillybob's DD was classed as an older new mum at 35 and the poor girl had an emergency c-section and it was only after I was told this did I go to pieces with worry for her,5mths on and we also have a beautiful baby girl.
Filling up their freezer is the best gift you do for them it will take untold pressure off them as they ajust to their new addition. enjoy your DGD xx