Gransnet forums


AIBU to expect a birthday card

(106 Posts)
Abbeygran Sat 13-Oct-18 20:48:48

Last year my son forgot my birthday. His marriage had just broken up so I let it go. This year, he’s forgotten again. To make matters worse, my daughter has also forgotten. She’s away at the moment for her job, and I’m looking after my DGS. I help both my AC with my dgs and dgd. I help pay for clothes, trips, have helped pay for holidays etc and ask for nothing in return. To be forgotten on my birthday has upset me very much. Am I being over sensitive?

moggie57 Tue 16-Oct-18 12:46:10

when you next contact your d .say oh by the way you forgot my birthday. dont be shy. say maybe next year we you can send a voucher as well as a card so i can go out and celebrate it even if you are not here. but younger generation seem to think it doesnt matter if they forget ,they dont realise you get upset. or maybe you could forget to send her a birthday card. then send a belated one saying like you forgot mine. dont be shy ,tell her..

Speldnan Tue 16-Oct-18 17:29:12

My son is 37 and I can count on one hand the cards I’ve had from him over the years. He lives in NZ now so I never even get a phone call. However I don’t take it personally, he never sends cards to anyone and wouldn’t care if he didn’t get any himself. He says Happy Birthday on Facebook but that’s because it reminds him! It’s no big deal.

Speldnan Tue 16-Oct-18 17:33:13

Ps never get mother’s day acknowledgement from him either but then it’s a different day in NZ. I know my son loves me though and would fly over in an instant if I needed him. This is so much more important than a card!

NudeJude Tue 16-Oct-18 19:52:56

On the first birthday that I shared with my husband, because he had to go to work before I woke up, he left me a pile of gifts on a chair in the living room, only thing was, he hadn't wrapped any of them. I duly thanked him for the gifts, but it really bothered me that he hadn't taken the trouble to wrap them, so in the end, late that night when he was asleep and it was still niggling away, I went downstairs and wrote him a note telling him how disappointed I was. He said that he hadn't realised it was important to me and has never done it again. So maybe you haven't made it clear to your kids that you like to receive cards from close family, and while you shouldn't have to, perhaps a remark near your birthday next year, saying something along the lines of 'I hope you won't forget my birthday card this year', will be the gentle reminder that they need. If that doesn't work, I'd cease bothering with their birthdays, and definitely don't be so available to help them out, as your efforts obviously aren't as appreciated as they should be.

You are definitely NOT being unreasonable, and I'm sick of all these excuses about the younger generation being so busy, they know the date of your birthday, and have all year to prepare for it and buy, and post the necessary card that means so much.

muffinthemoo Wed 17-Oct-18 11:31:56

I bet they have a bloody good memory for when they expct you to be running about looking after their kids for them, though.

Happy birthday, I hope you had a nice day flowers cupcake