Are they being deliberately unfriendly?

Why don’t you just ask them?

I think there is a dogging group at a park near me. Oddly it's at night. Luckily my dog prefers to go out in the daylight.

We really went because of granddaughter! She had time of her life- they've been running this for ages but I never felt particularly motivated to go before (although once they invited my elderly- non-dog owning mother.) And chance to catch up with them as we don't often meet up.

I think that this may be the reason - that you are using their dog owners group as an opportunity for a family get together. I can imagine that some of the other group members were a bit taken aback by non-doggy people gatecrashing a dog club to catch up with their family members. It must really change the dynamic from being a dog owners event.

Why not suggest another opportunity for family time - perhaps suggest a dog walk.

We really went because of granddaughter! She had time of her life- they've been running this for ages but I never felt particularly motivated to go before (although once they invited my elderly- non-dog owning mother.) And chance to catch up with them as we don't often meet up.

Sorry for the double post - don't know how that happened!!

notanan I was just about to pose the same question. I don't really understand why the OP went along to the event in the first place.

notanan I was just about to pose the same question. I don't really understand why the OP went along to the event in the first place.

(Or even with a dog if it was a different breed)

I dont get why you want to go? I wouldnt wanna go to a book club if I hadnt read the book. I like dogs but wouldnt wanna go to an x breed dog meet up without a dog.

That’s quite possible notnecessarilywiser - good thinking.

I'm guessing that one of the dog owners, following your attendance, said "Ooh, I must invite my family to join us next time". Except fellow owners know that this will involve unruly children and even more unruly adults so they avoid that scenario by declaring a ban on non-owners.

Why don't you just ask them?
"All problems exist in the absence of a good conversation".

Were you actually invited on that day ? It sounds as if you just turned up . Maybe that is the problem - you are not doggy people and you just decided to turn up. The club is for dog owners so maybe they just don't want the club being for "anyone and everyone".

Don't take offense at this they are concentrating on doggy affairs, sometimes these meetings are very competitive and distractions are not welcome, or maybe they are organisers

Sorry you are upset, but I don’t think that your brother asking you not to go back to the doggy group is due to your brother and sister-in-law being unfriendly. I suspect that, as others have said, that the event really is for dogs and their owners only. Possibly the other dog owners don’t want youngish children there, you really don’t know.

Can you go to see your brother on another day or weekend? It doesn’t sound as though you are really alienated from each other, more of a misunderstanding through possibly over economic texting. Texts can be very abrupt, and can convey a sharper meaning than was intended! ?

I don't think it's the club (a few people sat under a gazebo in a football field that's open to public anyway.) We were perfectly friendly & discussed dogs enthusiastically with the dozen or so folk there (who I very much doubt would approach brother & wife - who organise whole thing- and tell them not to dare let us in!) We took photos of some of the dogs (not the people!) & I thought all had a very nice day. Never mind...but does seem weird that you get to this age & alienate your only sibling for no reason at all!

Lully??

Never heard of a club like this. Is it called dogging?

Did your relatives say that they, personally, didn't want you going? Or that the club didn't want that?
Could it be they didn't realise you wouldn't be welcome until someone else enlightened them? And they've responded a bit abruptly to you, out of embarrassment?

Yes, thanks for tht, notanan, maybe I shouldnt have taken umbrage.

I had to do a similar thing with a baby group I ran.

We allowed older siblings in the half term, but they ended up inviting friends (who weren't big siblings of babies who were part if the group) and regulars stopped going because it wasnt a "baby group" any more and well nobody really wanted to exchange tips on cracked nipples on front of a bunch of pre teens.

We had to bring it STRICTLY back to people who were attending for the topic of the group only.

Its a dog owners meet up, if random other people go it turns into something else.

Maybe you were all too lovely and charming and they see you as competition in "their" club?

I suppose as they hadn't expressly welcomed your attendance, it could be that, as Bluebelle said, other members objected to you going.

It does seem unkind and rather rude but I think I would just let them get on with it.

Many thanks for your thoughts xx

It does not seem very kind. I do dislike people who are 'cliquey'.

If you ever go again, take your cats. Most self-respecting cats can smack a dog on the nose and show who is 'top cat' in the hierachy.