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AIBU

Surprise Party Invitation

(63 Posts)
Grandmarnia Thu 22-Nov-18 21:26:17

If you received an invitation to a party headed "Surprise Party", would you assume that the birthday person did not know about the party and that it was err a surprise?
My husband attends a weekly art class and had a significant birthday on Tuesday. Invitations were emailed to all art class members from myself to attend a Surprise Birthday Tea this coming Saturday.
I have received some replies.
Today, my husband has come home from the art class asking me what is happening on Saturday? One bloddy woman has said "I've received an invitation to your house for a "do" on Saturday, are you looking for to it?"
I am so cross!
My AIBU is.. would I be unreasonable to email all the members again to say that I don't appreciate the Surprise Party now not being a surprise or do I ignore it.
Why would someone do this?
I have spent months organising this Surprise Party and have relatives travelling here, his old work colleagues are coming and I have managed to keep it all hush hush and now today this!

DoraMarr Thu 22-Nov-18 21:32:01

Oh dear! I would email everyone and just say “just a reminder- this is a surprise party for my husband- please keep the secret!” Then I would just say to husband, if he asks again, “Oh, I just invited a couple of people from the art class for a drink next week, she must have got the dates mixed up.”

Bridgeit Thu 22-Nov-18 21:36:49

I Agree with DoraMarr , hope it all goes well

Oakleaf Thu 22-Nov-18 21:38:56

Ignore it. You only know of one person who blabbed so not a good idea to offend everyone else by emailing them or those who were planning to come might decide not to. Also, a stroppy email from you could create tension between him and his art class members in the future. It's understandable you are annoyed but maybe the woman who let the cat of the bag is simply a little forgetful. It's done now. Don't let it spoil your enjoyment of the party.

Grandmarnia Thu 22-Nov-18 21:46:10

Thank you ladies
I have held off emailing as I didn't want to offend anyone and I didn't want to question my husband as to who had asked as I didn't want to seem to keen...

I did say the person must have got him mixed up with someone else!

MissAdventure Thu 22-Nov-18 21:54:24

You're going to have to hone your lying skills! grin good luck, enjoy the party.

Grannyknot Thu 22-Nov-18 22:19:41

As my friend would say "There has to always be one dufus".

Some people just don't read things properly, or, I'd want to corner her and ask "What part of "Surprise Party" didn't you understand? smile

Annoying.

Good luck with the party!

annodomini Thu 22-Nov-18 22:33:13

One of my sisters is almost incapable of keeping a secret. She managed to reveal to me a surprise that my sons were planning for my 70th birthday and I had to pretend that is was a surprise! She is also quite offended if she finds out that we have been keeping something from her!
But she's still my sister and my best friend.

SueDonim Thu 22-Nov-18 22:37:39

Oh dear! I think the best policy is to not make any more reference to this woman, as if it's if no consequence to you, and hope he forgets about it.

Did you actually say on the invitation for no one to mention it in your dh's presence? If not, I suppose someone a bit dense could possible think it's simply a party that will have a surprise within it e.g. a stripper jumping out of the cake!

MissAdventure Thu 22-Nov-18 22:42:18

I suppose it could have been an accident?
I've sometimes blurted things out without thinking.

Nanabilly Fri 23-Nov-18 08:19:02

I'm rubbish at keeping surprises. Secrets I can keep easily but surprises ..no !
We have a son approaching a big 0 birthday soon and his gf is planning something special .I've told her not to involve me as it makes me ill. I hate the feeling that I'm being deceitful or lying or keeping something from them as I had to for our youngest sons surprise party a few years ago. Everyone was cheering him into the party while I was vomiting in the loos. Said I'd never do it again. Maybe this woman is just rubbish at this kind of thing or maybe she just did not realise. You would have to be one he ll of a nasty person to spoil a surprise on purpose.
Just ride this one out and carry on as you were.

harrigran Fri 23-Nov-18 08:45:43

After the event ask DH who it was that blabbed and make sure you never invite them again. I hate it that some people just can not keep their mouths shut.
Hope it is special anyway.

Jane10 Fri 23-Nov-18 09:31:59

When we had a surprise party for my Dad's 80th his elderly friend phoned him that morning to say that he was unwell and couldn't come. We sort of laughed it off and thought we'd covered it up but after the meal Dad stood up with a long speech and poem he'd prepared. Seems like he'd had an inkling anyway but it was a great success and a happy time. I'm sure the OP's party will be much enjoyed by all too.

tickingbird Fri 23-Nov-18 10:44:43

I’d be fuming i must admit and i don’t think you’re being unreasonable to be annoyed. If it was me i would send another email reiterating the fact it is a surprise and could everyone please refrain from mentioning it to him.

Also Nanabilly i think getting so worked up about keeping a surprise party secret that you vomit is frankly, extreme. I wonder why it causes you to have such a physical reaction. It just shows how complex we humans are

Lindaylou55 Fri 23-Nov-18 10:55:13

I have organised a surprise party for my mother in laws 80th next weekend. One of my husbands aunts can't hold her own water so we are not giving her, her invite till next Friday. We know she will be available as she has no social life, but does have a big mouth lol

annep Fri 23-Nov-18 10:57:00

I'm sure the lady who "blabbed" didn't mean to. I could easily have done it myself. I think a coverup lie is best which you seem to be doing ok. But reminding everyone about coming and just adding Dont forget its a surprise seems ok to me.
Stop worrying. Enjoy the party. It sounds great.😊

Kim19 Fri 23-Nov-18 10:58:07

Why not further 'sideline' him by suggesting and reserving a favourite eatery for tomorrow? This, of course, will be cancelled by you later but unbeknown to him. Just trying to think what I might do to to convince him there had been a mix up!

123kitty Fri 23-Nov-18 11:01:34

Mentioning the event to your husband was probably done accidentally and not maliciously. Let it go. Enjoy your husband's party. Have fun.

Urmstongran Fri 23-Nov-18 11:02:51

A couple we know are walking into a surprise party tonight actually. We we’re invited but said we’d be in Spain at the time of the party. We met the couple involved a few days before we flew out. We knew to keep quiet about it. Then during the course of the evening, the wife said to me ‘so and so said a few nights ago ‘see you at your surprise party!’.’
I thought it odd. That lady had ruined what had been a lot of forward planning. A slip up? Hmm.
Tonight the couple will be getting ready for whatever they’ve been told but the wife does know now. She’s keeping it to herself and plans to act surprised. She’s not told her husband so he will be genuinely surprised!
I still had to act dim (not difficult for me) as I didn’t want to validate what the other lady had let slip!

dragonfly46 Fri 23-Nov-18 11:06:26

As someone who hates surprises I would let it go.
I am sure whether he knows or not it will be wonderful.

Margs Fri 23-Nov-18 11:10:00

Oh dear! As Oliver Hardy often said to Stan Laurel "Here's another fine mess!"

Busset135 Fri 23-Nov-18 11:18:52

I helped organise a surprise party in France earlier this year.Trying to keep it quiet was a nightmare I didn't talk properly to my cousins husband for about nine months

Jane43 Fri 23-Nov-18 11:18:54

Good advice from Dora. Some people are so thoughtless.

Aepgirl Fri 23-Nov-18 11:26:37

Spot on Dora. However, I can't think of anything worse than having a surprise party arranged for me - I bet my hair would look as if I had just slept in it!

gustheguidedog Fri 23-Nov-18 11:29:53

Hi Chuck, as my username suggests, I am blind and so, therefore, must use the computer with specialised audible software. Personally, if it was me I'd be telling your husband, "Oh damn perhaps she has the wrong date, do you know her email so I can give her the correct date?" Then when you have her details you can send her an email telling her the party has been postponed till the following day - when she arrives you can say oh Surprise sorry it was yesterday!

Take care chuck and have a great day