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Surprise Party Invitation

(64 Posts)
Grandmarnia Thu 22-Nov-18 21:26:17

If you received an invitation to a party headed "Surprise Party", would you assume that the birthday person did not know about the party and that it was err a surprise?
My husband attends a weekly art class and had a significant birthday on Tuesday. Invitations were emailed to all art class members from myself to attend a Surprise Birthday Tea this coming Saturday.
I have received some replies.
Today, my husband has come home from the art class asking me what is happening on Saturday? One bloddy woman has said "I've received an invitation to your house for a "do" on Saturday, are you looking for to it?"
I am so cross!
My AIBU is.. would I be unreasonable to email all the members again to say that I don't appreciate the Surprise Party now not being a surprise or do I ignore it.
Why would someone do this?
I have spent months organising this Surprise Party and have relatives travelling here, his old work colleagues are coming and I have managed to keep it all hush hush and now today this!

Grammaretto Sun 25-Nov-18 16:18:19

Our friends' grown AC organised a surprise silver wedding party for their parents. It was like a military operation. We got an invitation with instructions in the post to say nothing and to meet their son in a nearby pub along with other guests.

Their neighbours had invited them to dinner so they were poshed up and his siblings were prettying the house for when we were all going to arrive and hide in darkness and quiet.
It nearly went wrong because the couple didn't see why they were being dragged away from their dinner party when they hadn't eaten yet to see a special present! What was so important? and why no cooking smells?
She told us later that she was suddenly terrified that they'd bought her a puppy because she'd been saying how lonely she got when they were away at uni.

Grandmarnia I hope your DH surprise party is fun. Look forward to hearing about it.

Elrel Sun 25-Nov-18 15:17:52

I went to a surprise party arranged by a friend's partner. He was a very sociable man, she loved organising events. We duly hid in their home when we heard a key in the lock. When the light was switched on in the room where we were hiding we leapt up and sang 'Happy Birthday' to a man who appeared frozen with horror. They weren't together for much longer!

Grandma70s Sun 25-Nov-18 14:58:34

DoraMarr, that’s exactly how I would react if anyone did a surprise party for me. I’d be absolutely horrified. Does anyone actually enjoy that sort of surprise?

Riggie Sat 24-Nov-18 17:28:26

Perhaps she read it as "Surprise!! (It's a) party" in the sense that she thought the invitation was a surprise??

callgirl1 Sat 24-Nov-18 16:53:39

One of my daughters booked a Caribbean cruise a year early as a surprise for her hubby`s 50th birthday. Their son was 8 when it was booked, knew all about it for the whole year, but never let on to his dad. I don`t think any of my kids could have held onto a secret all that time.

DoraMarr Sat 24-Nov-18 11:17:01

My friend, a quiet, rather reserved woman, had a special birthday. On the morning her husband made no mention of it, and went off to work announcing that he would be playing five- a -side football as usual that evening. My friend came home from work, had dinner with the children, and, feeling miserable, had a long hot bath, with a face pack on. She was just eating chocolates in front of the television, wearing her dressing gown and feeling utterly miserable,when her husband arrived with a babysitter, and persuaded her to get dressed and come with him for a curry. She put on a sweatshirt and jeans, didn’t brother with makeup on her slightly blotchy post-face pack face, and walked into the curry restaurant to be greeted by “surprise! ” from dozens of well-dressed friends. She burst into tears and ran home. Her husband asked me later “I can’t understand her, why wasn’t she pleased?”

Melanieeastanglia Fri 23-Nov-18 19:53:57

I can definitely see why you're cross but, if you email the whole Art class, you may cause a bad atmosphere for the future when your husband goes to his classes. Some people who didn't let out the surprise may be offended.

I'd let it go. Try and cover things up. I do hope the party goes well.

glammagran Fri 23-Nov-18 19:31:47

We once went to a carefully planned 40th birthday held in a hall. The wife of the (prickly) husband invited ex-work colleagues and assorted relatives he hadn’t seen for years. Though he made no comment it was very apparent he was utterly furious. Everyone knew he liked whisky - he must have had in excess of 20 bottles given as presents.

Jaxie Fri 23-Nov-18 19:19:22

This happened to me when I organised a surprise party for my husband's 80th birthday. A friend phoned up from France, he answered and she told him she couldn't come to his party. He had a tantrum and said he didn't want the party. I insisted and in the end it went well. However, the old grump insisted on wearing a pair of my shorts and a shirt with holes ( it was a hot day) but most of the other guests had made an effort. I don't actually think I would like a surprise party myself now though...

TrazzerMc Fri 23-Nov-18 18:46:11

That’s exactly what I would do

NotSpaghetti Fri 23-Nov-18 17:36:17

I'm with dragonfly46, NanaRayna, Aepgirl and others - not keen on surprise celebratory events of any sort. Would think it would be annoying though if you are organising one and someone tells!

Our children, then in their teens and 20s arranged a mega 25th wedding anniversary surprise party for my husband and I - but in the end had to tell us about it as they discovered we wanted a really quiet day, just the two of us, and we'd booked a romantic dinner somewhere special.

Lots of people came to the "surprise" that we hadn't seen for years - but I'm glad the family won't do that again.

Grandmarnia Fri 23-Nov-18 17:24:08

Driverann that has made me laugh.

Grandmarnia Fri 23-Nov-18 17:22:58

Thank you for all your replies - I have kept stum and husband has not said anything else today.

I have had an email from one of the members confirming her attendance with the words "I hope it is still a surprise" so after the event I will be asking hubby for confirmation of who let the slip (or not, if the same woman)!

Just waiting for his brothers and sister to arrive from Scotland - he doesn't know they are coming too, so tonight will be the best surprise smile

Husband very chilled watching tv in his room whilst I run around with a duster getting the cobwebs woven overnight as I must have missed them yesterday!

8 more minutes and I have promised myself a little drink for my nerves smile

Marthjolly1 Fri 23-Nov-18 17:14:18

This is a real shame. Not sure if I'd let it go or send a polite email as a reminder of the surprise as Doramar suggests. I hope you and everyone else has a really good time.
And please God don't let anyone organise a surprise party for me. I'd hate it.

GreenGran78 Fri 23-Nov-18 17:05:56

I'm not much of a party person, and would hate to have people leaping out from behind the curtains, shouting "Happy Birthday".
I will be celebrating the big 8-0 next summer. The family were planning to get together, either here or in Australia to celebrate. However, my daughter has announced that she is getting married in Oz next November. I told them that we can defer the birthday celebrations 'til then. It's far too expensive to get together for both.
However, my other daughter, who lives locally, mysteriously told me to keep my whole birthday week clear! She refuses to say any more, so heaven knows what she has planned! I've told her that I refuse to fly to Oz for just one week.

lilihu Fri 23-Nov-18 17:04:21

Perhaps she thought the “surprise” element meant she was getting a surprise invitation?
As others have said, there’s always one!

Madgran77 Fri 23-Nov-18 16:26:20

I'm afraid some people just don't get the subtleties!! Unless you say in large letters "This is a secret; please do not mention it to ..." then it just doesn't dawn on them. I have learnt that the hard way!!

Magrithea Fri 23-Nov-18 16:24:43

If he doesn't know of all the other arrangements then don't say anything. A gentle reminder to the art class wouldn't go amiss!!

Chucky Fri 23-Nov-18 16:13:03

It was almost certainly just a slip of the tongue and she is probably feeling very bad about it now, so don’t make her feel any worse by saying or doing anything or she will probably be too upset to come. No point in upsetting his art class friends, what’s done is done. If you make too big a thing about it and upset her there is a fair chance that it will backfire on you with these friends. I am sure your husband would not want anyone being upset over this innocent mistake.

newnanny Fri 23-Nov-18 16:03:24

I would have thought a surprise party was obviously meant to be a surprise. I would be furious too. At least your dh will be surprised to see old colleagues.

CarlyD7 Fri 23-Nov-18 15:39:55

My brother-in-law did something very similar when he let it slip that we were arranging a surprise Golden Wedding anniversary party for his parents. We were very disappointed that he had and quite annoyed with him. However, a year later we found out that he had early-onset dementia and this is why he can no longer keep secrets. You don't know why this person let it slip - but it was unlikely to be malicious. Let it go - his major enjoyment will be in the party itself, and not the surprise (which is only a small part of it).

VIOLETTE Fri 23-Nov-18 15:22:01

H ha ! stick a note on the gate on the proposed time for guests to arrive saying in very large letters SURPRISE ! NO ONE IS IN ...BUT THANKYOU FOR KEEPING IT A SURPRISE ! and book a table just for you and hubby somewhere nice (and don't forget to set the surveillance camera before you go out !)

Willow10 Fri 23-Nov-18 15:09:55

And we can all mistype sometimes too!confused

Willow10 Fri 23-Nov-18 15:08:56

I've just had anbinvitation for a party in January. After seeing this I've just re-read it to make sure its not a suprise party! Its so easy to just skim over the words but not actually take in all the details, so maybe it was a genuine mistake. We can all be a bit dim sometimes!

annep Fri 23-Nov-18 14:24:48

BBevan. funny! ( although obviously not the migraine)