To wear what I like for Christmas?

I'd say compromise. Maybe the rest of your company feel like poor relations. Tone down on any sparkle and glitz. Still get your hair done so that will make you feel nice. You can still be smart without looking a bit too formal. Enjoy.

Who on earth has a 'best' dinner service/cutlery which only sees the light of day on high days and holidays?
I am worth having nice linen napkins, glassware, cutlery and crockery on the table EVERY day but it's certainly not Royal Albert old fashioned stuff or fish knives (so passé) in a canteen.

lemongrove
Oh! Don't disappoint. Just 'rock your body' (think that's a line from a song )

Why would anybody want fish knives for Christmas dinner?

I will be using good china (but I do every day), better glasses than everyday but not the silver which would only come out if there were more than 20 of us and I needed to “top up”.
Linen napkins and a big white damask tablecloth of course, candlesticks but no other table decorations - no room.

fish knives (so passé) in a canteen.
I have a set, together with the servers, inherited from MIL. Never seen the light of day since, just waiting for them to be worth a fortune.
It doesn't look as if they'll ever be on the Antiques Road Show then, if they are passé!

grapefruit
As it's Christmas Day, wear what makes you feel most comfortable. That could mean dressing up and your DD and family feel more comfortable dressing down, perhaps because they'll be cooking and washing up .


I do know a couple who were invited to their DS and DIL's for Christmas dinner; she's an outback Australian so she 'dressed up' in new jeans and a smart new shirt only to find DIL's female relatives all there in their 'ball gowns'. I should have asked if the men were all wearing jeans.

You can wear what you like but why don’t you just ask your daughter what the dress code is for Christmas at theirs this year. You could always say that you’d seen some lovely Christmas jumpers and then see what she says. She might just say yes that would be fun this year. You could then suggest a fun Xmas jumper shopping spree! Personally we tend to opt for smart casual. We will have been at church and then cooking the meal so flashy jewellery or sparkly tops wouldn’t really be our choice. Children big and small often wear a Christmas or winter themed jumper but again nothing garish or OTT. A Christmas party might be different though ?.

Well, I have a set of cutlery I use for best and a dinner service. If we used them all year round in the dishwasher, they would become less shiny, the plates more chipped, etc. I like the sense of occasion they bring but they weren't particularly expensive, just nice. However, now there are 21 of us, we have to use our everyday stuff too!
How old is your daughter Grapefruit? I would expect this sort of stuff from a teenager who is still at that age when they are embarrassed by their parents. However, it is difficult to judge without knowing whether you really do go over the top with makeup, perfume, glitter, high heels, short skirts, etc. I can't imagine in the circumstances you described why you didn't ask who is "everybody" and which bit made them feel uncomfortable. For all you know, it could be something minor like your perfume which makes somebody feel chesty. If it were me, I'd just ask outright over a cup of coffee. Once you find out the reason, you'll know what to do.

My 'uniform ' at the moment is lagenlook woolly dresses with leggings and boots. Really comfy and perfect for any occasion!

I'm with rockstar love that poep,going to be my mantra. X
Ps my mum. 76 and always dressed in jewels and sparkles we.wouldn't recognise her when going for a.family meal or.Christmas.if.she.didnt. X

Enjoy your dressing up. Xx

If we go visiting for me it will be jeans and a nice top, once I get home with the family is joggers and comfy T-shirt, sorry but comfy wins hands down with us

I’m with you flexi friend....I never dress up and spend most days in jeans or trousers .... Xmas day I st least put a skirt and fancy top in AFTER I’ve prepared the veggies and got the oven going of course...just before my family arrives ...son and SIL in obligatory jeans , daughter in dress though , grandson usually jeans and granddaughter ( tomboy) a dress ( unless she’s kicked off about wearing one). I don’t mind what they wear as long as they’re with me and happy to be there. It really doesn’t matter..dress up/ don’t dress up...!!!

Why not book a free make up session with Boots and chat this over with the makeup artist. She will probably know what is cool with the young and you will be able to decide what you want to do.

When I go for my annual session I tale my make up bag. Let Boots tell me what their advice is, if I accept it, I take out my stuff and they see what it is that is 'missing' or needs updating. All good fun.

As for your jewelry if it is real stuff and essentially a family heirloom your family should be interested in it's history. Sadly I cannot wear my grandmother's rings any more so I have cheap stuff from holidays abroad. Stuff I wear is all ethnic with a travel story behind it.

You should wear what suits you to wear so good luck.

"I understand everyone does things their own way and that's great". Absolutely grapefruit! I don't believe any person should dictate what another one wears. Oh I can feel myself getting irate on your behalf. Do what you have always done and what makes you happy. I bet your grandchildren love you in your fancy clothes

The only concession I've made to dressing 'down' (think I might dispute the sentiment if not the wording) is to resort to trousers as I too like to loll about the floor playing with the children and dealing with my dignity would be too much like hard work. I have bling which everyone makes a joke about but that's fine.

MawBroon
The reference to fish knives was purely as an example of the stuff/cutlery people save for special occasions, usually in boxes or canteens.
I know perfectly well that there is not a fish course in most UK homes on Christmas day, unless part of your homeland tradition or religious upbringing. Most of those people wouldn't use them anyway.

Jalima1108
Sets of fish cutlery, usually in canteens, are routinely sold on eBay.
You could see what prices they fetch.

Don't let your daughter upset you, it's not worth it. I have a very bossy daughter who Face Times me and launches into a tirade of what I consider to be undeserved criticism. Maybe I'm a bit eccentric but not totally dotty yet. Just tone down the sparkles & jewellery to please her, then give her the vees behind her back.

I'll have a look GabriellaG, however, if I sold them I'd have to clean them first.

We have a good bone china dinner service that used to be used several times a year but now only sees the light of day at Christmas. Ditto the canteen of Sheffield plate that my father gave us as a wedding present. I couldn’t contemplate Christmas dinner without a beautifully laid table, even if there were only two of us eating.

Phew , fish knives, best silver etc etc. I realise we're all a bit Peter Kay here, or rather we were when I was cooking for 18plus on Christmas Day. We'd borrow a gate leg table from mum to tag on to our own extended table. Some family members would bring a couple of chairs. One year, we sat the children on a garden bench because the chairs wouldn't fit around the tables.
No worries about fish knives though. We have a box of "emergency/Christmas cutlery" that's on hand in case we use up all the usual and need extra's.
I loved those manic gatherings of 18 plus, especially as we often had five dogs to join the chaos (a couple of our own and visiting dogs). We are a much quieter and calmer gathering in recent years. Still lovely but a bit sad, we haven't needed to resort to garden benches or the emergency cutlery.

Have. fun everyone x

I do not believe there is much call for fish cutlery as how many people would go to the added expense of buying this just for fish.? I have a 'oak canteen' that belonged to my late parents containing place settings to accommodate eight persons, including fish knives and forks. Imagine the washing up.?

I'm just hoping that fish will come back in fashion so much that fish knives and forks plus servers will be de rigueur and mine can be sold on ebay for a fortune, or at least enough for me to take a world cruise!

At the moment, they seem to be worth about a tenner.

I think they must have been a wedding present to my MIL and FIL, sarahellen, so C1930s

I have a beautiful wedgwood dinner service and canteen of cutlery (no fish knives and forks and a modern design), all wedding presents that used to be used for Sunday lunch, dinner parties and similar, but are now only used at Christmas.

I actually do not think it matters how much you dress up or down, personally or the dining table, at Christmas. We all do it the way we always have and all our families love it. and would be absolutely horrified if we changed one bit of it.

Love that you dress up for the day OP. Keep doing it. My kids call me the grinch as I find the day super hard. But would love someone like you coming in and sparkling. Would cheer me up no end.