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AIBU

To wear what I like for Christmas?

(173 Posts)
grapefruit Fri 23-Nov-18 16:38:44

I've just had a very odd conversation with my daughter. We were talking about Christmas and if we were going to have it hers or mine (looking like hers) and then she said something offhand like, 'Just please come dressed down this year mum, you make everyone uncomfortable with all your dressing up.' I think I just laughed and went to put the kettle on but I was so taken aback. And the more I think about it the more upset I feel. I do like to get dressed up for an occasion and especially Christmas. I always book to get my hair done a few days before, I put on a sparkly top or nice dress and make an effort and wear my nice jewellery because for me, it's a special occasion. And there aren't many opportunities to do that sort of thing so I reckon make the most of it. but now I feel quite odd about it all. For me it feels wrong to wear jeans for christmas (each to their own though of course, I understand everyone does things their own way and that's great). But I feel like I've now been prescribed a dress code and it's made me feel very blue and a bit cross.

Greyduster Sat 24-Nov-18 21:10:09

Phone for the fish knives, Norman
As cook is a little unnerved;
You kiddies have crumpled the serviettes
And I must have things daintily served. ?

John Betjeman.

stevej4491 Sat 24-Nov-18 21:29:02

If it suits the wearer ,b****r the starer,that's what my mother used to say ,and I'm totally in agreement. Merry Christmas.

flores Sat 24-Nov-18 21:34:19

I think it’s nice to dress up a bit more than usual. But it’s for each to do as they wish & feel comfortable.

MawBroon Sat 24-Nov-18 21:39:28

There is the smoked salmon starter GabriellaG or if you’re in Germany, carp.
Actually there seems to be a degree of inverted snobbery about what people use or how they dress their table at Christmas. It is one of the very few (only?) formal meals of the year and I am rather sad that good china , crystal and silver have fallen out of fashion.
So maybe I will look out MIL’s Hutschenreuther Dinner service, the Wedgewood Crystal, Mum’s Crown Derby for tea and Christmas cake, and polish the silver candlesticks after all.

Nanagem Sat 24-Nov-18 21:42:51

I tend to follow my parents Christmas, I dress for church Christmas morning, quick change into something comfy for the present giving, and playtime, then just before I serve dinner, quick change back into “posh” for dinner, hubby tends to just take his tie off after church and stay as he is, but then he doesn’t do dresses !. All I ask is that everyone is comfy, but comes to the table clean and tidy, including the children.

Jalima1108 Sat 24-Nov-18 22:44:54

Are you one of the RF Nanagem? wink
I think they change clothes several times on Christmas Day.

Greyduster grin

GabriellaG Sun 25-Nov-18 02:57:07

MawBroon

Fish knives are not used for smoked salmon as it is usually pre-sliced.
The fish knife was designed with a broad blade and pointed end, as a means of separating the fish from the skin from one end to the other and removing bones...as you know.
As for Germans, their food is dull and horrible, no wonder they eat such awful fish, knives or no knives.
As for Wedgewood, Crown Derby and silver candlesticks...it's all a bit pretentious and Hyacinth Bucket IMO. tchsmile
I once broke a cup whilst washing up for a colleague after tea and cake at his offices. The replacement (brand name) cost £54 from JL and I had to buy the saucer too as the cup wasn't sold separately. Did the tea taste any better? No, and a china mug holds more, no need for refills.

annep Sun 25-Nov-18 04:36:19

Peaches50 her house her rules.
I don't think you can have rules that tell guests how to dress.
I would be extra dressy this year. I would not take kindly to this remark. Out of order I'm afraid.

Charlie123 Sun 25-Nov-18 07:36:35

Im with you , wear what you want, if other people don't like it that is their problem, just my opinion

primpraw23 Sun 25-Nov-18 08:12:19

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NanKate Sun 25-Nov-18 08:24:29

I make an effort on Christmas Day to look smart casual. I sometimes wear a flashing light Santa to amuse the GSs. This year I have a rather pretty colourful brooch from The Heart Foundation. I will wear smart trousers and a warm possibly red top, yet to be bought.

I would have been very hurt by your DD’s comment. Be yourself, it’s not your problem if other family members don’t like your Christmas attire.

harrigran Sun 25-Nov-18 08:28:00

Whatever else I am wearing I will also be wearing comfortable trousers, I don't do posh frocks on Christmas day.
I will be using the Royal Doulton china and the Waterford crystal champagne flutes, everything tastes so much better I find.

Shelagh6 Sun 25-Nov-18 09:16:28

What a load of ........!

annep Sun 25-Nov-18 09:42:44

I hope you use them on other occasions Harrigran.?

gillybob Sun 25-Nov-18 10:10:20

I shall be using the same 6 plates I always use (marks and spencer, plain white, 20 years old and as good as new) plus 3 or 4 odd ones that don’t match . Ditto side plates and cutlery . Common as muck.

annep Sun 25-Nov-18 11:02:45

And odd chairs Gillybob ?

gillybob Sun 25-Nov-18 11:14:03

Oh yes definitely odd chairs annep I only have 4 proper dining chairs so use everything from garden chairs to stepping stools . grin

gillybob Sun 25-Nov-18 11:14:38

And a pouffe, with a cushion mountain !

annep Sun 25-Nov-18 12:06:46

Lol. Reminds me of my mums. Lovely memories.
Peter Kays emergency chair sketch comes to mind.

harrigran Sun 25-Nov-18 12:14:11

I have six dining chairs but now we are a family of eight, I have brought some dining chairs from my other home so we are not using stools this year.
Looking forward to using china and crystal which has also been at the other house, trouble is I don't really have the storage space for all the extra things.

Jalima1108 Sun 25-Nov-18 13:16:53

Common as muck.
grin

plain white
I remember my sis-IL saying many years ago that she couldn't bear to eat her dinner off anything but a plain, preferably white, plate. I went out and bought some plain white dinner plates before they came for Christmas dinner!
We've been using them every day since then, they're ?**?years old. They are Royal Doulton (how posh) but they came from the seconds shop in the Swindon Outlet Shop.

annep Sun 25-Nov-18 14:10:34

My dinner soup side plates etc all white. Bought in Debenhams. I refuse to pay too much and then not want to use every day. But my little plates for biscuits or scones ( as in gone) are all colourful old teaset plates from charity shops. I love them. We have a Royal Albert teaset ( my MILs) We use it mostly for tea in the garden in summer.
Anyway point is what you wear/have/use isnt important. people are. Time with people you love is too precious to worry about unimportant things.

Greyduster Sun 25-Nov-18 14:22:15

When I was growing up, we didn’t have a piece of crockery or cutlery in the house that matched, and ate Christmas dinner at the kitchen table. Absolutely no frills, no candles, no crackers, but the meal was always as delicious as anything I have presented to friends and family since. What stops my mother could not pull out on ambience, she pulled out on the food. But we aspire (don’t we?) and move on when we can.

MiceElf Sun 25-Nov-18 16:24:59

‘As for Germans, their food is dull and horrible, no wonder they eat such awful fish, knives or no knives.’

So says someone who is unacquainted with either the best German restaurants or the great traditions kept in good German families.

It’s akin to to a European asserting that English cooking is dreadful having only experienced a Wimpy Bar. Sad.

MawBroon Sun 25-Nov-18 16:26:35

As for Germans, their food is dull and horrible, no wonder they eat such awful fish, knives or no knives

There speaks the voice of the truly ignorant.
Not to say prejudiced.
.