All I want for Christmas??

My son and family are going to his inlaws this year. Not a problem, but our daughter has just split up with her husband so she and the two children are coming here. It will be a big change for us, having so few here. Also it will be sad for my daughter.

I second what Kitty says Pastel, I have found great comfort in Soop's Kitchen.

Pastel, Teetime and Morethan there is nothing I can say to make things better but thinking of you all and sending hugs.

321123 I would arrange next year to be away for Christmas and let the family sort themselves out. Dont let them think you are dependent on them and maybe they will find that they really miss seeing you and arrange things a little earlier the next year.

No words pastel - just a big, gentle (((hug))). Talk to us if it helps. soop' kitchen is brilliant.

Teetime and * morethan* for you too.

Teetime, more . Look after yourself

Teetime and Pastel (and anyone else in a similar situation) I am so sorry to hear about this dreadfully trying time you are going through.

To all the others who feel Christmas is difficult: do your own thing. If you want to invite your adult children do so, if not enjoy a nice peaceful Christmas on your own.

3211123, I think a lot of good advice has been given to you, and I think Marthajolly1, in particular, offers excellent advice. Good luck, and I hope you manage to have a nice Christmas.

Teetime, may you and your family find some peace at this terrible sad time. To you all who have left comments, I take solace in knowing that you are all happy to share how you cope with this time of year. I have been retired now for a couple of years and I'm still learning how to say "no" to them all. They are the ones that feel guilty about not seeing me at Christmas, as I said it shouldn't have to be this hard. Regardless of what the family decide, we are treating ourselves to some very nice food and drinks, planning our TV entertainment, and looking forward to a Christmas day walk to the pub. That's me sorted. To you all, have the best time that circumstances will allow this holiday and good luck for the new year.

Teetime - I am in the same situation (DH) it is so hard and a a very lonely feeling. I just want Christmas over.

teetime and morethan I am so sorry for the sadness in your life and wish you and your families peace and comfort.
3211123 you have taken on the worries of all your children- it's what we mum's do. Christmas is just one day, hopefully you can have a family get together sometime in the new year when everyone will be more relaxed and really able to enjoy the day. For now just chill out and expect nothing - I've learnt that is the best way of avoiding the disappointment of not being able to make everyone's Christmas perfect
It just doesn't happen.

Sympathy to Teetime and morethan2. My own son-in-law was very ill a few years ago - fortunately recovered but things were looking very black for a while and we did all we could - which I don't think was enough - to support our daughter and grandchild. All the cheeriness of Christmas must make things feel much worse. Lots of love.

I was going to write that I wish Christmas would go away for a few months and then I read Teetimes post about her son in law being so poorly. When everyone is fussing about Christmas shopping etc. It must be very hard to bear. Puts things into prospective though .

Teetime I am sending you love, and wishing for peace for your daughter and son in law. You remind us what matters.

I’m so sorry Teatime Christmas can be difficult, but must be especially difficult for you and your family.
I would like my very ill dil and my son to enjoy what may be their last Christmas together, alas I don’t think that’s going to be the case. So I hope they muddle through as best they can with no disasters.

Teetime
My thoughts are with you and your family.
I wish you courage and strength xxx

Teetime
The waiting period can be a blessing in some respects (being able to say 'goodbye'), but also can be a very painful time. I expect you're feeling it most keenly because you're dealing with your own feelings whilst carrying the burden of a mother's pain for her child. What courage we must sometimes find! (((hug)))

Teetime....hope that your SIL does have a merciful release very soon for the sake of all your family.?

To the OP and anyone else tearing their hair out over Christmas arrangements, stop! Just say if asked about Christmas ( let them ask you ) you are all welcome, just let me know in time, for shopping purposes.
We do this every year, sometimes ( rarely) they all come, sometimes just one family, and sometimes we see them on different days Ch Eve, Ch Day and Boxing Day.
I refuse to get stressed about any of it, but if in danger of that happening then the Baileys comes out.

teetime. So sorry. X

Teetime so sorry to hear that I do hope that his end is peaceful and your daughter can begin to grieve.

Every Christmas for 35 years I have had to accommodate parents/in-laws, this year is the first we do not have to comply with my domineering mother as she is in a home and my in laws are sadly no longer with us.
Quite frankly every Christmas has been a nightmare pussy footing around my mother trying not to say the or do wrong thing.
As Dec 25th has been a chore we decided to concentrate on any family get togethers and make them special so the focus was taken off the one day of the year that seems to cause so much stress.
I have told my 3 adult children they must please themselves at Christmas and not try to please everybody else as I’ve had to do for years.

For the first time in 34 years, I will not be spending Christmas day with my two children. My Daughter and I are estranged through the lies of a friend of hers and my Son is spending the day with his Son, aged one, his partner and her family. My Husband and I have splashed out on Christmas dinner, with champagne on arrival, at a lovely country pub. It's expensive but worth it. We will get together with some family over the festive season but I can honestly say, I'm looking forward to our day together.

Teetime just and hugs.

Op hard as it is you can’t be responsible for adult children’s happiness. I have 5 adult kids and you can guarantee at any one time one of them is more needy than other ones and which one is a movable feast.

You know what we do? We say everyone welcome at ours and let us know by the 23rd for shopping.

And me and dh go to the local for lunch time drinks. We do a Christmas buffet, no big bloody turkey.

Lots of wine and Games.

Come if you want or suit yourselves we are happy either way. No pressure.

If you relax they will too

It's the worst time of the year when you have someone in the family who's very sick, nothing else matters. All my sympathy and thoughts are with you all at this very trying and sad time x

? Teetime.

My love to you Teetime and some x

Oh Teetime I'm so sorry for you and your family its heart breaking. I have been in that situation and know how you feel. God bless all of you