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InLaws

(29 Posts)
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NanaandGrampy Thu 13-Dec-18 17:33:59

If your husband was closest to her - yet had not had anything to do with her since Christmas they can’t have been that close !

Seems like instead of taking offence at whatcoukd have been a poor joke it might have been better to tackle it head on and ask her what on earth she meant ? Would have saved all the fuss.

Sorry , seems like a mountain out of a mole hill to me .

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EllanVannin Thu 13-Dec-18 14:40:19

I wouldn't have let on about any holiday.

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Buffybee Thu 13-Dec-18 14:24:40

From what you say about the brothers wife's comment re your holiday. She was either jealous of your trip or it was a clumsy attempt at humour.
So the comment was "the straw that broke the camel's back", and you then kept your distance from your husband's Brother and Sister.
Did you mention anything to them about the comment and how it had upset you?
If not, from their point of view, you have made yourself scarce for a year for no reason they can think of.
I also don't really understand what his brother and sister walking in with a lawyer as soon as their Mother was diagnosed with dementia meant.
Do you mean they set up changing her Will.
It also seems as if the brother and sister have just got on with dealing with their Mothers funeral, thinking that you would rather keep at arms length.
I don't know what to make of all this but if you don't get on with your husband's family, just keep away.

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Megsgma Thu 13-Dec-18 12:34:57

This is the second Christmas DH and I won't be spending any time with his family. Between July last year and now, my inlaws have said and done some pretty disrespectful things. These things didn't just start, there has been a very long history from what DH tells me (both our 2nd marriages, 11 years total in January) of issues he has endured and myself since coming into the family but the camels back (both of ours) broke last November.

We were out to dinner with DH brother and sister and spouses, I told them about my trip to the caribbean with my bf of 25 yrs and her elderly mother and aunt. A girls week away. We had a nice dinner and once in the parking lot, men standing in their circle, us girls in another and not within ear shot of the men, my husbands brothers wife says to my comment of having to go through my summer clothes for the trip - in front of my DH sister "well, as long as it's all on the up and up"... I just responded oh we're going with her mother, no shennanigans! It did not hit me until I was walking to the car that she had pretty much said it was a great thing as long as... fill in the blank...what? That I'm doing what I say? Going with whom I say? Going to go and behave? What did she mean by that? I was truly offended. The way she leaned in and said it in a hushed tone, like it was something naughty I was planning just angered me so much I didn't want to be around them last Christmas and DH had had enough once that happened so we begged off. At this point we only saw them twice a year at Christmas and possible wedding/funeral. Then my mil passed this August and because DH chose to step back prior, his sister and brother excluded him completely from planning his mothers funeral and he was the closest to her! And the oldest. His sister and brother pretty much walked in and took over when she was diagnosed with dementia 7 years ago with a lawyer..after we were the ones who got her to go to specialists because we spent thr mist time with her and knew she was not well. Sorry for the rant, I'm just still angry at them all!

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