and what did you give?

i run a charity shop and we are always grateful for unwanted gifts!

They are a bit rude, aren't they! What lack of manners!
A gift should always be received graciously, even if it's not quite what you wanted.

gilly you should have said it would be even less next year---like, nothing.

How rude!
My solution is to get nearly everything from M&S, with gift receipts.

gillyjp the reasons you give your DGS for receiving two presents from you, as opposed to one, or four, or five, are of course personal to you and your family, but you can’t blame a 6 year old for having those expectations.
It’s up to his parents and the wider family to modify his behaviour and expectations according to their own values and beliefs and explain them to him.

My DIL bought me a hardback book which I had read a few weeks ago when I borrowed it from the library .I’ll pass it on to a charity shop.

How about giving them all vouchers next year

I really can't believe how rude your family are Watermelon. I lol at the suggestion of a book on good manners. I can understand why you are upset. I give my 3 adult children £75 cash to put towards what they want and spend about £45 on stocking which always includes socks, and 6 pairs of pants, shower gel, various chocolate they each like, a tee shirt for ds and top for dd, de-icer and car air fresh. TBH they get roughly the same each year in stockings but are always grateful for it. dgs loves Thomas the Tank engine and so I got him James, Gordon and Diesel and he loved them and took Diesel to bed with him on Christmas night. I got dh a chainsaw he wanted that is cordless to cut back large shrubs that had grown into trees almost. Nephews will have hoodie sand socks and niece 2 tops and wheres the mermaid book. They will be grateful and like hoodies as my sons picked them for them and know what they like. If I am ever unsure I just gidt an Amazon voucher so they can pick what they like and even teens like those. That is what I would be giving your ungrateful lot next year.

Our brood of grandchildren is increasing and Christmas is getting expensive. So with the 6 adults when we do now is we all draw out a name of one of the adults, we then buy a present for that person to the value of £50.00. We all know what we have to spend and therefore can suggest things that we would like. We have been doing this for the past 3 years and it works really well. We all get something that we want, and it saves having to run around buying for 6 adults not knowing what to get. This year my hubby and I asked for a joint present so the two that had our names clubbed together and got what we wanted that cost £100 - something we wanted but couldn’t afford. I am extremely happy and dont have a lot of bits and pieces that I didnt really want or need. Everyone is happy and it works for us really well

I agree with henetha. How very rude! Is now the time to change your family's gift-giving "rules" for next year? In our family we (mostly) exchange small gifts which are either "consumables" or small items from charity shops. (DGC get more.) And this year we agreed with friends to stop exchanging gifts altogether & to give to charity instead. Result!! Four charities have benefited (from us: presumably others from our friends) and we've had no stress.

DD always asks me what I would like as main present, usually I want something for the home. I then get little surprises from DD & DGS.

I give DD & her OH their favourite chocolates & money. DD lets me know what DGSs want as their main present, I always give them a book or two & a stocking filled with bits & pieces.

DM is the worst to buy for, I left a present with her when I visited in November, as usual I got it wrong & she proceedes to tell me she is nearly 90 in no uncertain terms.

Gosh that was very rude. I'm not surprised you were hurt. I'm hurt for you.

May next year don't bother and see how they react

My disabled grandson loves to make films using figures from his favourite cartoons. I bought a box with all the figures from his current favourite and he screamed at me and cried all day. He completely ruined the day for everyone as he only stopped crying for twenty minutes from the time he opened my present! He is 13 and his mental age is around seven. Apparently I should be a mind reader and should have known what he really wanted, but he had been unable to tell me when I asked. He has apologised for being rude today, but too late as his twin siblings and all the family had a terrible day as he was so hysterical that we couldn’t reason with him at all. I do feel bad, but it will be money from now on.

We decided to donate to charity in the names of our youngsters...they are all working and never buy for us....we just get them included as names on the gifts from their parents. These youngsters don't need anything and the charity does.
We've also stopped with all the unnecessary Christmas cards...giving, instead, to guide dogs for the blind.
We feel better for doing this and that is the gift of giving.

How rude and ungrateful - next why not give something some people really want ........ a donation in lieu e.g to feed / clothe the homeless and tell the 'ungratefuls' that is what you have done as you know it will be appreciated

Very rude comments. I wonder if I’d be brave enough not to buy anyone anything next year. Probably not but I’d love to say ‘oh I decided not to anymore as I seemed to get it all so wrong last year’.

Very ungrateful, don't waste time next year, give them a gift card or just a Xmas card, stop giving to unappreciative family

Maybe we’ve all got enough ‘stuff’. Something like ‘SendaCow’ is brilliant, or you can sponsor a loo or buy grain in a third world country. There are loads of charities like these and they will send you a card for you to pass on to someone you have nominated to give the gift on their behalf. My SIL was wonderful with my five year old DGS yesterday and took care to talk gently with him, as he was unwrapping his gifts, about the children, and grown ups, in the world who aren’t so fortunate. Book Group ‘Secret Santa’ this year was choosing a slip of paper with a charity’s details on (top sixteen ethically run charities) to donate to if we chose to - what a great idea.

In our family only the children get presents. We stopped doing presents for adults a few years ago. It’s so much less stressful! Everyone’s happy.

I love amazon wishlists. Makes life so much easier

i get pjs every year in a size 10 -12 of my sister in law who is thst size . im quite clearly a 16 -18 and ive told her my size so she knows i think she just wants me to give her them vack to embarass me but i give to my daughter .

I have 5 GG and 10 GGC ...The GGchildren I buy a wrapped present usually joint to include their partners. The GGC get cash in a Christmas card. Youngest to eldest rises in value. Parents are happy with this arrangement as money goes into their respective bank accounts.
For various health reasons I can't get round shops. ..everyone is quite happy and no family arguments.

I do t know why it bothers me but I couldn’t sponsor a goat or a polar bear on behalf of someone else. It’s their gift you’d be ‘giving away’! I could only ask that others give MY gift away by sponsoring something. Otherwise ‘look what I did on your behalf’ springs to mind!

Until this year, our family have done a secret Santa which involves us sending roun Robin wishlists so we did at least get something we “needed”. This year, because we want and need nothing, we’ve just bought for the children.

I have always given money to the children and grandchildren to buy what they want or need. No-one has ever complained, refused or exchanged it and I don’t need to stress myself out looking for suitable gifts. I let other people buy them things they don’t want. ?