Dreadfully rude - and one of the downsides of the commercialisation of Christmas. There is, I think, an overall failure in families (including my own) to share its original meaning from an early age; and to raise awareness of their own good fortune in having a family, a roof over their heads, and enough to eat.
Some of my family are very specific about what they want present wise ahead of time - but give a few choices, so that's fine. Others are really keen on surprises - so if the surprise isn't quite what they would have chosen themselves, they are polite enough not to mention it!
We ourselves (when asked by offspring )have from time to time requested donations to our favourite charities or to schemes which support local projects.