and what did you give?

Next year send them a card with a note saying that as they didn't what you bought them last year, this year I have decided not to risk it and have given a charity in your name instead. Then give them a picture of a goat.

How rude of people not to at least appear grateful. If they don’t like a present, smile sweetly then put it away and later on give it away. I would never tell anybody that I don’t like the gift they have given me,

I resorted to a cheque for DSiL this year. I felt it was a cop out but he did look really pleased.

How very rude of them. The correct response when opening a present is, 'thank you' and a smile.
I wouldn't want to be mean but I'd feel like sending a card in very early December with the following words. 'I will not be exchanging gifts from this Christmas onwards so please accept this card with my good wishes for the holiday season.' They'll probably grumble at that too but hard cheese. Am I being mean?

Stopped buying gifts for adults years ago as they have everything. Instead, we buy gifts through World Vision Charity / Oxfam for third world. Such as hens / health education talks / water supply / latrines / goats etc. The adult receives a card from the charity detailing the gift bought in their name. This, for us, is a win:win

I would discuss the matter with the family some time well before Christmas.

Tell them you are hurt by their reception of the gifts you choose so carefully, and that you would like to know whether you should simply stop giving them presents?

I do realise that the younger generation hasn't been taught to tell white lies when they unwrap something they don't like, or have decided to disregard what they were taught, but like Suedonim I would be tempted to try at this late date to teach them some manners!

I remember one Christmas I bought my daughter in law a really lovely jewellery box as she just left her jewellery all over the place. When she opened it she said "Oh, I'll never use it. Have it back." So I took it back. Now I ask what she wants and as she is a keen gardener it is usually a voucher for a garden centre or an actual plant.
Last year she actually gave me a grey woollen shawl!!! What a cheek!!! I did not give it back, but I put it on the end of a single bed in my spare room.

PS I pretended I liked the shawl. This year I have been given an experience day out by son and daughter in law. Yay!!!

I always ask for lists in November. I do not necessarily stick to them. When she arrives tomorrow DGD will find a present that will make her dreams come true, but it wasn't on her list because it is expensive and the idea of parents, grandparents and aunt all contributing to make it possible would not occur to her.

DDiL's mother bought us all clothes from M&S and among the parcels was an envelope with all the receipts so we could change them if not suitable. In fact all were perfect so at the end of the month (by which time any faults in the clothes should be evident) it will go on the fire unopened.

I do realise that the younger generation hasn't been taught to tell white lies when they unwrap something they don't like
grandtante some of them have. A few years ago DGD and DGS were given a short course in how not to make an ‘inappropriate gift response’ by DDiL and DS.

I agree those comments are unacceptable and rude. I think if that was said to me I’d be tempted to ask for it back!

In my daywe gave and received, bath cubes and soap, fancy boxed lace trimmed handkerchiefs ,we would never use, and considered ourselves lucky if we got a box of chocolates, or a bottle of some ones home made wine .

Gosh, bath cubes! A real 1960’s memory right there! Love it.

Three of my five adult children live in Australia. We long ago decided not to exchange gifts, as the postage costs are ridiculous. The only exception is my toddler GD, who gets a present, chosen my her parents and ordered online from an Oz company.
The ones here at home get a small gift and some money, which they all appreciate.
My best 'buy', this year, was a small game. i spotted boxes of "stacking chairs" in our local cheap shop. They were 99p each, so I bought two. Everyone has to take turns adding a small plastic chair to the pile, without dislodging any. Fallen ones are given to the one who made them fall, and the person who gets rid of all their chairs first is the winner.
We all played it after Christmas dinner, and it was hilarious! Everyone tried to spook the person placing their chair, or make them laugh at the critical moment. The game went on for a couple of hours, with no sign of boredom from anyone. The best couple of quid that I've spent for a long time!
Has anyone else had such a good investment over Christmas?

We loved our bath cubes as teens.

Next year give them a printed card saying you have donated what you would have spent on their present to the Salvation Army ....................

Unbelievable Watermeadow.... rude people. Surely it’s not about the gift ..it’s about having a lovely day with family you love ( if not always like)!! I was brought up to say thank you it’s just what I wanted. There...not so hard is it? I’ve bought my kids up the same. But a month or so before Christmas I ask them to text me or tell me 3-4 things they’d like and then buy one or two of them and a surprise they have not asked for. Seems to work for us. My husband who hates Christmas will make sure to buy all he needs before Xmas ...so he can truthfully say he doesn’t need anything. Then on Xmas day he tells all what he’d really wanted. He does it on purpose so he can look ‘miffed’....nobody cares anymore! Folk eh!

I bought a big rubber T Rex for little Gds, but I half knew he'd be a bit disappointed, since it doesn't roar or have lighting-up red eyes, like an older boy's T Rex he's seen and played with. A fact dd only told me after I'd bought it!

So I was going to buy the roaring one instead, but having checked the amazon reviews, several of which said it had barely stayed working/unbroken until the turkey was out of the oven, I thought better of it - Gds (2 1/2) is still chucking and bashing everything so it wouldn't have lasted five minutes.
Rubber T Rex is still going strong, is now in favour and he's enjoying making the roaring sounds himself, instead.

Not one person , DD, DS ,2DGDs, DiL , SiL. DH or old aunt made a disparaging remark about a thing they were given. They were all happy and crateful to receive and more than happy to give

Witzend.. I remember my little GS spending all day playing with the balloons from his Christmas stocking. You blew them up, let them go, and they whizzed around the room, making a noise.
He took no notice at all of his other, much more expensive presents. By the end of the day we were all exhausted from blowing up balloons!

It might be a good idea to ask for a list of what they might like, however they are horrible to make such tiresome remarks.

What rude and ungrateful family you have Watermeadow. I think the time has come to agree no presents in future.
I have always put a lot of thought into people's presents but it's not always reciprocated. We gave up doing adult presents years ago and the childrens presents stopped at 16. I carried on until 18 as grandmother's perogative. This came about because of a very ungrateful daughter. I am so glad we stopped because nowadays people tend to buy what they want when they see it instead of thinking oh I will ask for that for Christmas.
I still give to my younger grandchildren although living abroad it's usually money. I had a lovely phone call from two of my DGSs yesterday morning thanking me for my money gift. Nothing from my ungrateful daughter or her young daughter, not even a merry Christmas. I started giving to GGC but never received any thanks so that has stopped . Must admit I am not a Christmas person anymore. It's just another date on the calendar.

After saying I am not a Christmas person I have just received a Christmas card from my son whose young sons rang me yesterday. He always chooses his cards with care and I know every word in the card is meant so I has a few tears when I read them.

Next Christmas give them each a copy of "The Want Monsters" by Chelo Manchego

Bring back bath cubes! Cant't stand those ghastly bath 'bombes' that leave glitter and dried herbs? in the tub.

Yes that's it watermeadow-give them all bath cubes next year