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AIBU

Never again

(94 Posts)
Tutumuch Tue 25-Dec-18 23:11:45

Older sister, husband and adult daughter just left our house in a huff. They were invited to join us for Christmas dinner (our daughter and her partner, eldest daughter and her husband and 15 month old granddaughter). Sister brought their very old and snappy dog with them. On arrival after taking deep breath I put dog in boiler room with bowl of water and firmly said dog and toddlers don’t mix. My sisters husband who treats dog as substitute child persists throughout day to let dog out into kitchen as I was preparing meal saying Dog would not bite granddaughter!! In the end I took dog by collar back to its ‘bed’. They have just left saying we are unreasonable and dog is old and part of their family! Tbh am fuming have spent entire day in a toxic atmosphere - I just can’t understand why people can’t respect others homes. Husband annoyed with me for not saying something sooner in the day!

H1954 Wed 26-Dec-18 21:59:43

Okay, so I get it that dogs are surrogate children to some people BUT dogs are animals, they don't know Christmas from any other day of the week. Dogs that are not familiar with young children just do not blend well and vice versa.. I certainly would not allow animals in any shape or form in my kitchen at any time! It's totally unacceptable to expect anyone to have an animal in their home particularly when entertaining. I have a saying "my house, my rules". A furry dog is a moving "toy" to a young child, a tug or a poke at the wrong time, the dog snaps a the child and the occasion is ruined for everyone. So, all you dog lovers, don't assume that it's ok to take your dog visiting, leave it at home with food and water in a quiet, calm and familiar environment! Tutumuch, you shouldn't feel guilty about any of this, you were completely in the right to object to the dog having free range in your home, in your kitchen and in the environment where you had a young child. Don't dwell on the nasty text message, if they can't accept that the animal isn't welcome then they shouldn't have invaded your home in the first place! Sorry for ranting GN members.

Anja Thu 27-Dec-18 07:37:12

OP you ought to have made it clear to your sister and her husband when you invited them that the dog was not welcome in your house. Then they would have had the option to refuse your invitation or leave the dog behind.

Riverwalk Thu 27-Dec-18 07:55:14

Holding and Urmston, …….. amt101 is a regular poster.

holdingontometeeth Thu 27-Dec-18 10:34:39

Riverwalk Have I suggested differently?

sazz1 Thu 27-Dec-18 11:05:41

We have 2 dogs that we really love very much. But they are dogs not children and so we don't dress them in silly clothes, take them visiting, have them in our bed etc. They are trained to sleep in the kitchen or garage when we go out or go to bed. We don't impose them on anyone else unless they are specifically invited to come with us. Your sister is unreasonable and your OH should have backed you and said something himself. xxx

Anja Thu 27-Dec-18 12:30:39

🙄

holdingontometeeth Thu 27-Dec-18 13:13:30

They are banned from your bed but allowed to sleep in the kitchen?
Are they permitted to make themselves a slice of toast if they wake up during the night?

lemongrove Thu 27-Dec-18 16:35:33

Our cats were adept at taking scones out of packets when allowed to sleep in the kitchen in cold weather.

merrilyn Fri 28-Dec-18 05:03:56

I do not expect to take my little dog everywhere but IF I had to for some reason, he is trained to stay in his crate. This is his sanctuary where he goes by himself if he just wants some quiet time. He also will not travel in a car unless he is in his crate. He frequently travels in my car for 6 hours at a time, only getting excited with lots of tail wagging, at the half way mark where he "stretches his legs". His crate has on occasion doubled as a "naughty chair" where he puts himself when he hears my tone of voice.

ReadyMeals Fri 28-Dec-18 09:51:29

Merrilyn what sort of crate is it? Is it like a carrier for taking them to the vet, or like one of the show cage things that they can have their water and bed in?

GabriellaG54 Fri 28-Dec-18 14:14:37

Lynne59
What if the dog wanted to 'relieve' itself if they left it at home?
I certainly wouldn't want to arrive home to puddles or poo.

Elegran Fri 28-Dec-18 14:17:01

No different to the dog being left on other occasions. They know their dog and its bladder capacity by now. Unless it is old and leaky it will be OK.

Alexa Fri 28-Dec-18 14:31:59

Tutumuch was right IMO. I 'm on the side of the old dog who would be tired out and maybe even hurt by a toddler. It's great for their dog to be part of their family and they seem not to know that it's rare dog that can be safe with toddlers.

Pollaidh Sat 29-Dec-18 11:39:21

This year we had DDGS, who crawls at 90 miles an hour and is fascinated by our Cocker spaniel, to stay for Christmas. However, no dog has ever bitten a child, until it does and then has to be put down. Meanwhile the scars for life inflicted on a child's face by just one irritated nip is simply not worth it. So DDGS and dog were kept well apart for 8 whole days. My rules. Tutumuch you are right and if anyone is upset, that is their problem, not yours.

ReadyMeals Mon 31-Dec-18 12:29:45

I think the most dangerous time with dogs and kids are when the kids are at the crawling stage. Some dogs are not quite sure what they are then, like some strange deformed dog approaching them. At least once they are up on two legs it's clearer that they're people and should be respected as such.

NanaandGrampy Mon 31-Dec-18 12:39:31

I think you were right to do as you did OP !

And I’m a dog lover. We are fortunate that our one dog was trained along with our grandchildren and they are both respectful of each other.

We have 12 people here today and apart from the odd cuddle , Sam will be snoozing in his bed! The children respect Sams boundaries , so no pulling about etc.

It works really well for us but a dog not well socialised or not good with children should really be left at home ,

holdingontometeeth Mon 31-Dec-18 14:11:03

Wheres the Dog Whisperer when you need him?

Chewbacca Mon 31-Dec-18 14:15:03

confused