Gransnet forums


Men at the sales

(117 Posts)
GrandmaKT Fri 28-Dec-18 16:48:06

Due to other commitments, I only had today to do a quick trawl of the sales.
Didn't find much, but did get so frustrated by middle-aged/elderly men trailing their partners around the ladies' clothes departments! They didn't seem to be enjoying themselves and, aside from getting in their wives' way were getting under everyone else's (my!) feet too.
My OH does exactly this, so we very rarely go shopping together, and never when I am clothes shopping. If you and your partner are culprits, is there any up-side and how can you stand it?!

Elegran Fri 28-Dec-18 17:00:03

One of our male posters wrote that while Mrs X was shopping he preferred to sit outside a cafe with a cup of coffee and a cake and watch the girls go by. Inevitably someone reported him for being sexist and abusive, so he was reprimanded and suspended. He preferred to leave the forum completely.

Man-creches would be a great money-spinner - home baking, good tea and coffee, newspapers and/or TV sports on tap, other abandoned males to chat with. They would be fresh to drive their wives home when they met up again after the battles were over and the money spent.

Bellanonna Fri 28-Dec-18 17:10:44

Unbelievable, Elegran. I do miss him. Wonder how the ukelele’s going?

janeainsworth Fri 28-Dec-18 17:16:26

Northumberland leads the way in husband-caregrin

GrandmaKT Fri 28-Dec-18 17:18:11

I didn't know that Elegran. What a shame!

Liz46 Fri 28-Dec-18 17:32:39

There is a very similar sign outside a pub near the station in Liverpool. I always used to take myself off, alone, to Liverpool or Chester to shop but unfortunately have been ill and am not strong enough to go alone. I had to get a dress for a wedding and it was a bit of a nightmare as he had to come along.

My first husband's second wife heard about it and has offered to help me if I need it!

grumppa Fri 28-Dec-18 17:41:42

We go to the sales to support our wives, carry bags, etc. etc., not for personal pleasure. Being trampled on by enthusiastic lady shoppers (aka "getting under everyone else's feet") is one of the crosses we have to bear.

sodapop Fri 28-Dec-18 17:58:46

Oh grumppa you are such a hero !! I actually don't need to be supported during my shopping trips and I can manage to carry a few bags. I certainly don't need to be patronised.
Apologies to those women who for whatever reason may need help with their shopping.

annodomini Fri 28-Dec-18 17:59:16

There has to be an exception to any rule. DS2, when he was a young dad, used to get up at 5am to go to Next's sale to pick up bargainclothing for the boys and often a top for his partner. Nowadays he has more sense and, in any case, his sons wouldn't be impressed with his taste in clothes for them.

agnurse Fri 28-Dec-18 19:11:23

We always go just DSD and me, or else Hubby goes and does his own thing. We usually shop in large department stores or shopping centers, so Hubby goes and checks out electronics. Works for everybody.

GrandmaKT Fri 28-Dec-18 19:42:59

Exactly agnurse, that works for everyone. As I say, the men obviously weren't enjoying themselves, so I presumed that some women 'make' their OHs accompany them on clothes shopping trips, and just wondered if anyone would own up to it an explain why!

M0nica Sat 29-Dec-18 00:03:02

I never go shopping with DH and I simply cannot understand those women who are happy to have their husband trailing behind them.

As for the sales..... never go near them. I hate crowds.

grumppa Sat 29-Dec-18 00:59:42

I wasn't aware I was patronising anyone, sodapop; I just thought a little levity might not come amiss. Wrong again.

For the record, DW and I regularly shop together amicably, and we hardly ever go to the sales.

Grandad1943 Sat 29-Dec-18 08:27:36

Same here grumppa, we always go shopping together but never in the January sales.

This seems to be another thread were all husbands, and male partners are idiots and imbeciles, who have to be looked after by wives and female partners who are perfect in every aspect of their lives.

With the wholesale misandry on this forum, it's no wonder people come on here taking the p*ss.

sodapop Sat 29-Dec-18 08:50:28

Oh for goodness sake Grandad1943 can't one express an opinion without being accused of misandry. For information I quite often speak up in support of husbands / partners.

Bellanonna Sat 29-Dec-18 09:19:50

Just for the record, I read your post as humorous, grumppa and not at all patronising!

grumppa Sat 29-Dec-18 09:36:01

Thank you, Bellanonna. My watchword is John Gay's epitaph: "Life is a jest, and all things show it; I thought so once, and now I know it."

Bellanonna Sat 29-Dec-18 09:42:43


Chewbacca Sat 29-Dec-18 09:44:08

Grumppa I saw nothing patronising in your post either. I saw a bit of gentle humour, but that's all. Not did I see any misandry in your response. sigh

Elegran Sat 29-Dec-18 10:16:53

Grumpa If I were looking for a replacement for my beloved late husband, I would like one with your sense of humour and common sense, one who treated the world as neither a place to grimly control nor one in which to make people look foolish with "gotchas" but where we all talked, argued a little and smiled without malice at human falliblilty.

Anniebach Sat 29-Dec-18 10:22:33

Grumpa loved your post x

Jaxie Sat 29-Dec-18 10:33:34

Perhaps the women who take their husbands shopping don't drive, or have medical conditions that prevent them from carrying heavy bags. Do I accompany my husband to the DIY store to buy axes and nails? No. Now My fuzzy mind is struggling to nail what point I'm trying to make!

grannyticktock Sat 29-Dec-18 10:45:29

My (late) husband and I rarely shopped together. We made separate trips to the supermarket (he would buy just what he needed for the next meal that he was cooking; I would buy everything else.) We only went sales-shopping or clothes-shopping together when he needed to be involved in the decision - I would never take him clothes-shopping with me!

The tag-along role of husbands in supermarkets has always annoyed me - so often the man just stands in the aisle with the trolley, looking bored or bewildered and getting in the way. If a woman can't drive, and he has to be there as chauffeur, then I wish he would just stay in the car (or cafe if there is one) and read the paper or something. I am not being anti-male or sexist; if a man does the shopping by himself, that's fine, and many do (and they don't seem to need a spare person to push the trolley). I just don't like the useless man hanging around blocking the aisles while his wife does the actual shopping. "For better, for worse, but not for Sainsburys" was our agreement.

Even worse is the couple in which one party takes the trolley to tbe queue while the other continues to bring items to add to the trolley. No, not fair! The queue is for people who have finished shopping!

But one of the saddest things for me after OH died was arriving home from the supermarket with no one there to greet me at the front door, help me carry in and unpack the shopping, and snuffle around in the bags to see what treats I might have bought. Funny, the things you miss.

goose1964 Sat 29-Dec-18 10:46:43

I rarely go shopping with DH as he hares around & I can hardly keep up with him let alone look for stuff I want

marpau Sat 29-Dec-18 10:47:07

*Grumpa *I liked your post my hubby drives me to shops and carries my bags which I like. I also value his opinion.