Ruined New Year's dinner

Next year Nannie41 you could pretend to your daughter you intend serving dinner an hour earlier than you really plan to!

Oh Urmstongran, if we were ever going anywhere, I used to have to tell DH that we were leaving an hour earlier; he used to faff around so much that we were always an hour late. So he had his hour to 'faff' and I was relaxed because I knew we had an hour's leeway!

A happy ending, OP, that’s good!

Coming an hour late is ridiculous. But it’s still better than turning up half an hour early. There’s nothing worse when you’re hosting than having to take coats and get drinks and be polite to someone sitting there when you need to be doing your last minute prep or making yourself presentable. As for is there anything we can do? Yes, b*** off and come back at the right time.

Good resolution willa.

Your friend was thoughtless and rude to ignore your requests and to spoil your dinner.

However, if you want to remain friends, you will have to be the bigger person. If she lacks empathy, as her actions reveal, she will be offended if you are still cross with her.

Another time, do what I do to keep my cool with DH, guests and booze:- have a cold but delicious pre prepared starter, an undestroyable main such as a very fancy casserole with a last minute ( bought) pastry ‘hat’ per person, a premade desert like Pavlova and a fabulous cheeseboard. No effort on the night and delays will harm nothing.

You will also be able to be with your guests drinking Champagne and policing the nibbles rather than fuming in the kitchen.

Dinner parties are like war. Strategy and the element of surprise are essential. Be the general and keep control of your battlefield.

Ha ha, desert, Dessert even! ( dessert wars?)

The OP should relax and think herself lucky she has friends who want to come to dinner and thought (wrongly) that they were making a contribution to the feast.

If she has avoided a major falling out, she and her OH might get invited back and could bring the pretzels.

I think you are all more forgiving than me! My sister-in-law and her husband arrived at 8.45pm on 29th, having previously said they'd like just some bread and cheese at that time. We gave them that, preceded by home-made courgette soup. Her husband asked for home-made chutney. I said we had none but offered him some from our local deli. He then said it wasn't very nice! They stayed one night and I served lunch for 12 adults and 2 children the next day. Two days later they were back, as he had left a pair of shoes. Since they arrived at 12.30 we gave them lunch of cold turkey, home-made cranberry sauce and salad. I offered some coleslaw and he told my sister-in-law, who is virtually blind, "It's not home-made." Now, I had made a huge bowl of cole slaw for Christmas Day supper but we had eaten all that. Do you think he was rude? I certainly do.

I keep thinking about the leftover very expensive center cut filet mignons that I special ordered from the butcher and had baked to rosy perfection.

We Gransnetters could have helped you out willa - I like cold beef.

It's not worth ruining a friendship for - one of my dear friends is driving me scatty at the moment, but we'll get through it.
Enough said!

Pick something they can bring of your own choosing next time, that way they feel as if they contributed but also you know what it is going to be.
For our Thanksgiving our soon to be in-laws kept pestering me about bringing food that needed cooking at our house but I had so many things perfectly planned to be done at dinner that I would have no oven room for anything else.
Finally I asked them to bring olives, cranberry sauce and bread even though I had plans to supply them - and they were quite happy to be contributing- and so was I :-)
It's more about the people invited, not the perfectly orchestrated dinner.

My friend has been home from abroad but due to family commitments we could only meet last night. She invited me round any time after 7pm for a catch up. I text in the afternoon and asked what colour wine she preferred but she said she had some. When I got there (7.30pm) ,with gin and tonics, she had prepared a meal. I felt so bad I was not there at seven ! I was actually full from a meal with DS late afternoon but I ate it all. It was a lovely gesture I just wish she had told me.

Anja yes same here. we would have put the lot in the fridge and scoffed it the next day. I can't understand why everyone bolted down all those pretzels and mustard!!!!!

Agree with all suggestions my sympathies it's always wise after the event. (damn it ) soo
moving forward (I hate that expression). 1/do you like them enough to put it behind you start again etc if yes then it's obvious do the laughing off thing if not let it go

Also why would u take pretzels &mustard just take wine like normal people & just do NOT be late as well jeez