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Reading other people’s greetings cards

(95 Posts)
vickymeldrew Wed 16-Jan-19 04:40:33

Last week I celebrated a ‘significant birthday’ and received many lovely cards. Yesterday, a dear friend came round to lunch and whilst we were talking, admired the cards. She then proceeded, without asking, to pick each one up and read the messages on them. I was embarrassed that she would do this as there were personal declarations of love from my husband and daughter. I have to say that my friend has a outgoing and open personality and is very popular. Is it okay to read other people’s cards or am I being over-sensitive?

sarahanew Wed 16-Jan-19 19:00:04

Unfortunately if they are on show they will get read. I always read my families cards and never thought that they might not want me too, might have to stop doing it now unless invited to, oops

harrysgran Wed 16-Jan-19 19:21:35

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest unless they were rude or offensive in which case I wouldn't have them on display your friend was showing an interest

M0nica Wed 16-Jan-19 19:28:44

It is ridiculous to tell someone not to display cards in their own home, if the messages are very personal. These are the cards that the recipient probably most wants on display so that they can think about and read the message whenever they see the card.

I think for a close relative to look at cards where there is an implicit understanding that that is permissible is fine, but other than that?

I will look in cards sent to my AC and DDiL, but, immediately put it down if it is card between spouses. We count DDiL's mother as a close friend and always stay with her when we visit DS and family, but I would never look inside her cards.

Shizam Wed 16-Jan-19 19:35:28

I always want to look. But would ask first.

winterwhite Wed 16-Jan-19 21:07:53

Agree with OP. Would never do that, and be really surprised and annoyed if anyone did it to me. Even DDs ask whether they can snoop through the cards, and snoop is the word we’d all use. Often comment on them, esp Christmas cards - ‘Ooh we had that one from the Xs’, ‘Bet that’s from Y’.

BradfordLass72 Wed 16-Jan-19 23:27:54

I wouldn't, didn't, mind when friends read the greetings in my Christmas cards, some of them saying how much I was loved.

What I do find a bit odd is when friends come in and look at what's on my computer screen, diary and emails, quite obviously of a personal nature. And they stand and read it!
I've had to ask 2 people recently, 'just give me a minute to finish this please'.
But as my cards were on display, I didn't mind.

Blencathra Thu 17-Jan-19 07:20:26

It is quite obvious from here that if you put cards on display they may get read. Certainly don’t go out of the room to make a cup of tea etc- who knows what happens then!

notanan2 Thu 17-Jan-19 07:40:22

"I always read my families cards and never thought that they might not want me too"
But why?
I don't think its particularly rude or invasive I just don't understand the appeal

Blencathra Thu 17-Jan-19 08:42:47

Obviously has an appeal for some so it isn’t ridiculous to say that if you want to keep them private don’t put them on display!

OutsideDave Thu 17-Jan-19 14:47:16

It’s incredibly rude to read people’s private correspondence. One shouldn’t have to hide things away in their own home to protect them from the prying eyes of guests. It’s disrespectful to both the recipient and the sender.

Buffybee Thu 17-Jan-19 15:04:46

I would never read cards in my friends houses but I have read Birthday Cards at my daughter's house but never the one from her Dh.
Ditto never read their Anniversary cards to each other!
Much too personal.

callgirl1 Thu 17-Jan-19 16:50:46

My 2 daughters who don`t live here always look at and read cards on display, it doesn`t bother me.

Tangerine Thu 17-Jan-19 18:25:13

I don't imagine your friend meant to hurt you so I hope you won't fall out with her over it.

Would I do it? No, not without asking.

Having said that, I do not care if friends look inside my cards. Occasionally, if there has been a message in one that I wouldn't wish other people to read, I've removed the card from view when having visitors. Mostly, I don't mind at all if people read the contents of my cards.

annep Thu 17-Jan-19 18:48:24

I wouldn't do it with friends but would with family. Buf I don't think it's a big crime. She meant no harm. ?

Cabbie21 Thu 17-Jan-19 19:36:39

I wouldn’t do in it friends’ homes, but I do in DD’s home, especially the grandchildren. However, recently I picked up one from her husband and immediately realised I should not be reading this, it was personal. So I am going to stop doing this unless given permission.

Blencathra Sat 19-Jan-19 14:59:44

Strange that people don’t afford their own family the privacy they give to friends!

PamelaJ1 Sat 19-Jan-19 15:12:08

I don’t remember ever having read anyone else’s cards but I must be aware it happens because I am careful about what I write when I send one,
I usually just put good wishes and something innocuous because somewhere in the back of my mind I know the recipient may not be the only person who reads it. If I want to add anything else that I think may be private I will enclose a note.

Septimia Sat 19-Jan-19 15:46:51

I would read cards of close family, although I might check that they didn't mind. I don't think I'd read friends' cards without asking. I suppose it really comes down to how well I know the person.

Sussexborn Tue 22-Jan-19 01:29:55

If I didn’t want my cards read I would probably put them on display out of the way of visitors. Quite happy for anyone to read them. I probably wouldn’t read cards displayed in the house of an acquaintance but would probably ask a friend if I could look at there’s.

Life is to short to get all het up when people don’t read your mind and cause offence. I’m pure Celt and not a particularly secretive person unless someone confides in me and then my lips are sealed.