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Reading other people’s greetings cards

(95 Posts)
vickymeldrew Wed 16-Jan-19 04:40:33

Last week I celebrated a ‘significant birthday’ and received many lovely cards. Yesterday, a dear friend came round to lunch and whilst we were talking, admired the cards. She then proceeded, without asking, to pick each one up and read the messages on them. I was embarrassed that she would do this as there were personal declarations of love from my husband and daughter. I have to say that my friend has a outgoing and open personality and is very popular. Is it okay to read other people’s cards or am I being over-sensitive?

grandtanteJE65 Wed 16-Jan-19 12:50:25

I would assume cards on display where meant to be read, although I would ask the recipient's permission before reading them.

I wouldn't be offended if anyone read mine without asking though.

grandtanteJE65 Wed 16-Jan-19 12:53:39

Surely, there is a clear distinction between letters and cards or postcards?

I would never read a letter addressed to anyone else, if it was left lying around, or their bank statement, but a postcard that the entire sorting office has already read, or a Christmas of birthday card is a completely different matter.

MysticalUnicorn Wed 16-Jan-19 12:54:59

No it's not acceptable and I don't even read other family members' cards when visiting.

Mycatisahacker Wed 16-Jan-19 13:04:03

Cards on display are for the enjoyment of the person they have been sent to not for any visitor to pick up and read.

To me it’s exactly as rude as reading a letter lying around. The card is for the recipient to read not for anyone else unless invited to read.

It’s incredibly rude in my opinion

notanan2 Wed 16-Jan-19 13:12:47

If a greeting card had a very personal/private message I wouldnt put it on display in the sitting room. I sometimes display more special/personal cards in my bedroom

MissAdventure Wed 16-Jan-19 13:13:09

I would ask before reading.

notanan2 Wed 16-Jan-19 13:13:47

To me it’s exactly as rude as reading a letter lying around

Its nothing like that.
A letter left out is not "on display" it just hasn't been put away yet

Jaye53 Wed 16-Jan-19 13:15:35

Think it's very impolite to say the least!

jmsburnham Wed 16-Jan-19 13:22:22

Why display them if you do not want people to look at them - keep them in your bedroom so only you can see them!

willa45 Wed 16-Jan-19 13:39:53

Greeting cards all have the same, similar 'sugary' messages of endearment... how incriminating can that be? Putting them on display can also be perceived as an invitation for perusal.

Having said that, I personally wouldn't disturb anyone's greeting cards or read the messages inside, but that's just me.

Washerwoman Wed 16-Jan-19 13:41:31

It depends who it is but generally I think it's rude .I have a friend who would do exactly the same,and has.She has a good heart but can be very bossy.Our friendship nearly ended years ago when sitting at my kitchen table she asked if DH were free on a certain date and before saying what for -it was an invitation to dinner -unhooked the calendar on the wall,flipped over the page to the relevant week and checked what was on it and said 'oh good you're free' before I could even open my mouth.She then picked up a pen and was about to write it in until I ticked her off and pointed out it was my calendar,and I would need to check with first.

Grammaretto Wed 16-Jan-19 13:56:14

What are cards for if not for reading!
I might say oh look what a lot of beautiful cards who are they from? Then I would expect DD or friend to say have a look .but like KatyK I may not do that in future.
It's very showoffy to have invitations on the mantlepiece. Queen's garden party or At home at Lord and Lady so and so.
Postcards are for everyone. Letters are private. Surely?

PECS Wed 16-Jan-19 14:56:46

I would not read cards of folk I did not know well but do look at cards sent to my DDs and they look at mine. we don't mind!

seacliff Wed 16-Jan-19 15:02:12

I wouldn't read them, as I'd feel it was an intrusion. Apart from at my sisters, she doesn't mind. If people wanted to read mine, it wouldn't bother me.

notanan2 Wed 16-Jan-19 15:58:44

I wouldnt read them because I would find them boring but
A. Some people are more soppy than me and
B. The fact that they are likely to be boring and not contain any juicy secrets means its not intrusive

I find that if personal notes are included they tend to be in letters within the cards which you remove before displaying the card

cazzar1 Wed 16-Jan-19 16:39:08

If I'm round at a friend's house and they have cards on display, I usually say how lovely the cards look and then ask if they mind me reading inside them. No-one has ever said no! They have always been happy to have someone show an interest in them. I always let people look at mine too, I don't see a problem at all. Like others have said, if there's one you really don't want anyone to read, remove it before someone comes round. Sorted smile

vickymeldrew Wed 16-Jan-19 16:43:54

Thanks to everyone who has responded to my thread. Interesting comments from all, however, I’m not sure about the idea of not displaying my own cards in case someone reads them. I thought everyone put their cards on the mantlepiece! In any case, the exuberant friend who read my cards would surely have asked where my cards were. ?
Happy days !!

sodapop Wed 16-Jan-19 16:44:25

Ooh Grammaretto I didn't know you moved in such exalted circles - respect.

win Wed 16-Jan-19 17:37:26

I totally agree if on display they can be read, Do not display personal cards, letters anything in fact you do not want read. Most people will read it when you are not looking even if they do not actually pick it up.

jenpax Wed 16-Jan-19 17:41:45

Nanagem How awful! I would have gone ballistic had my MIL opened and read my post!!

sarahellenwhitney Wed 16-Jan-19 18:29:36

What a b****y cheek. I had a friend?, not any more, who could not stop herself from 'rearranging' any vase of flowers I happened to have at that time.

Grammaretto Wed 16-Jan-19 18:37:06

sodapop grin
I don't but I was once watering someone's houseplants who had a line of posh invites on the mantlepiece .
The punchline to funny cards is always on the inside, so you have to open them.

Wetnosewheatie Wed 16-Jan-19 18:37:28

Oops I may occasionally pick a card up. Usually ones made from the children. Will think twice in future. Not bothered whoever reads my cards you are welcome

bunny17 Wed 16-Jan-19 18:47:47

I do this with my mum's cards all the time...not sure I would do it to a friend without asking

GreenGran78 Wed 16-Jan-19 18:57:20

Putting cards up in your own home is hardly the same as putting them on public display. They are their for your own pleasure. If someone calls unexpectedly are we supposed to sweep them up and hide them?
While I wouldn't mind allowing a close friend or relation to read them, I would expect them to ask if t was ok, not just to dive in. I think that is very rude.