Gransnet forums


Reading other people’s greetings cards

(94 Posts)
vickymeldrew Wed 16-Jan-19 04:40:33

Last week I celebrated a ‘significant birthday’ and received many lovely cards. Yesterday, a dear friend came round to lunch and whilst we were talking, admired the cards. She then proceeded, without asking, to pick each one up and read the messages on them. I was embarrassed that she would do this as there were personal declarations of love from my husband and daughter. I have to say that my friend has a outgoing and open personality and is very popular. Is it okay to read other people’s cards or am I being over-sensitive?

Grandma70s Wed 16-Jan-19 06:09:09

I think it’s generally considered acceptable, if they are on display.

kittylester Wed 16-Jan-19 06:23:39

I would think it's acceptable too.

Blencathra Wed 16-Jan-19 06:36:14

Acceptable if you have put them on display. If you want to keep them private don’t put them on display.

Greenfinch Wed 16-Jan-19 06:55:13

What the others say. My DD never displays the ones from her DH.I am happy for anyone to be interested enough to read mine.?

BlueBelle Wed 16-Jan-19 07:14:38

Why would you be embarrassed that your husband and children love you
Having said that I haven’t got a friend who would be so nosy but if she’s your close friend and an extreme extrovert then you should know how she may react and not be too surprised by her actions

Moongirl Wed 16-Jan-19 07:29:48

I’m totally with you, Vicky!
I don’t display my greetings cards in my own home for anyone else to read and would never dream of doing that in someone else’s home any more than picking up a bank statement or any other mail from their kitchen table.
I treasure the messages I receive in cards from close friends and family members but consider them personal and therefore private, just the same as if they’d been written in a letter.
Perhaps those visitors aren’t as lucky as us to receive such lovely messages otherwise they would know not to look to save mutual embarrassment.
So no, you’re not the only one!

BlueBelle Wed 16-Jan-19 07:48:37

I find this a strange post and strange answers would people really walk over and read others cards it’s not something I’d ever dream of doing or anything anyone has done in my house but as I said before if your friend is very over the top as you suggest maybe it seems ok to her but if you’re that close has she never overstepped the mark before in your house?

Gagagran Wed 16-Jan-19 07:50:54

I agree too Vicky. Would your friend pick up some mail and read it? Just because you choose to put your cards on display in your own home does not mean that they are on public display. I think it's very rude of her!

Willow500 Wed 16-Jan-19 07:55:36

My mum always used to do this with my birthday/anniversary cards but it didn't bother me - I just thought it was nice she was so interested. No one else has ever done it and I may have admired cards in my family's homes but don't think I've actually picked them up and read them. Then again no one has ever written anything personal in mine that I'd be embarrassed to put on show grin

lemongrove Wed 16-Jan-19 07:57:49

I would only admire the cards and not pick them up or read them in anybody’s house.
It’s one of those unspoken no-no’s isn’t it, to do that?

TwiceAsNice Wed 16-Jan-19 08:07:02

I always read my daughters, granddaughters and best friends and they mine and nobody minds but I wouldn't read anypne else's if I happened to be at their house and cards were displayed. I think it's ok if you're really close.

Urmstongran Wed 16-Jan-19 08:30:26

I’ve done it with close friends as others have too in my home. Maybe we are extroverts or have little class. ?

sodapop Wed 16-Jan-19 08:44:37

I would look at the cards but not pick them up to read the message. It would be like reading someone else's letters. That is just me though, I can understand a close friend feeling that it was ok to read the cards as they were out on display.

Blencathra Wed 16-Jan-19 08:53:29

I wouldn’t do it myself, but they are on display - different from letters, diaries etc that are not on display.
The answer is - if you wish them to remain private don’t put them on display.

Nanagem Wed 16-Jan-19 08:54:01

My MI L use to read them if they were left out, but then she would even read letters and bank statements if they were out on the side. I use to have check nothing was on show when she visited. Once when she was visiting she got to the post first, and opened it and read a letter addressed to me, I was so angry, but being young at the time flustered and just took the letter off her and said I would read out any bits that would interest her. She complained and said I was rude !. We never did get on

Nannylovesshopping Wed 16-Jan-19 09:27:16

Wouldn’t dream of looking at post other than my own, but wish I’d opened joint bank statements when I was married, would have realised how much money was being spent on different floozies over the years, ye gods I was gullible ?

Coconut Wed 16-Jan-19 09:41:00

I think most people would just read them silently and just maybe comment on such nice words.

Greenfinch Wed 16-Jan-19 09:54:20

I don't mind people reading mine but I wouldn't read other people's without an invitation.

KatyK Wed 16-Jan-19 09:59:58

I do that. blush I'll stop now. Not in friends houses, but I do it with family.

jacalpad Wed 16-Jan-19 10:01:01

I agree with you Vicky. Fine to admire the card itself, but not to read inside. My ex-sister-in-law used read inside any cards we had out when she visited. She also studied the wall calendar in my kitchen. Both rude and unacceptable in my opinion.

Harris27 Wed 16-Jan-19 10:13:24

Funny post its my birthday next week so I'll give this some thought no it wouldn't bother me at all! Just glad I was remembered ha ha

fluff Wed 16-Jan-19 10:15:23

I definitely wouldn’t do it, and was quite annoyed to find my mum reading mine once including the one from my husband, I think it’s intrusive and prying to read something that is private, but my parents are like that, I once came into my kitchen to find my father reading my husbands bank statement! I once had to stop my mother looking through my teenagers daughter’s school bag , I told her that she was out of order, she then gave me a lecture on how I was out of order for not doing so!

Camelotclub Wed 16-Jan-19 10:27:29

I'd probably do that as I'm incorrigibly nosy!

inishowen Wed 16-Jan-19 10:33:55

I've always thought cards on display were for reading! I read all my granddaughter's cards last week. Mind you, she is four. Your friend probably saw nothing wrong with it.