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the man upstairs

(119 Posts)
b1zzle Tue 22-Jan-19 12:09:20

Ever since I have lived in the ground floor flat of an old house ( few months) the last sound I hear at night is the gentleman in the flat above me peeing. Ditto on waking up. It sounds like a horse relieving itself! He's late 60s or early 70s and everything he does is loud: talks on the phone (I can hear every word); moves furniture round (all the time) and stomps rather than walks. I've tried moving my bed round the bedroom but there's no escaping the noise of either his bathroom antics; stamping feet or marathon telephone shouting. Should I be brave and try to talk to him?

BradfordLass72 Tue 22-Jan-19 18:21:54

Earplugs are the answer if you don't want to move. Thank goodness he's not a hard rock fan or prone to energetic sexual liaisons.

"At one time I had 6 men living in the flat upstairs."

I'm just in a faecetious mood this morning but my mind boggled at that. First laugh of the day! thanks

NanaandGrampy Tue 22-Jan-19 18:27:03

Not the toilet issues Aggie , I meant the walking around , doors etc

Luckygirl Tue 22-Jan-19 18:33:49

Many moons ago, when OH was young, he and his mate went upstairs to have a pee. We heard uproarious laughter descending from above and it seems that they had the idea of standing on the scales whilst they had a pee and watching their weight go down. Hilarious! Boys will be boys! grin

polyester57 Tue 22-Jan-19 19:00:42

A friend of mine, when at rock bottom of their marriage, went to see a counsellor, she told him that she could not stand the sound of her husband peeing in the morning. They have been divorced for some years now.

Niobe Tue 22-Jan-19 22:25:26

Our neighbours were building an extension and it would give them a bigger bedroom so I asked her if they would now have an ensuite. She replied that she did not want an ensuite because she did not want to have to listen to the sound of her partner peeing in the middle of the night smile . She decided on a dressing room instead!

SparklyGrandma Tue 22-Jan-19 22:43:31

I bought some headphones that block sounds out. My neighbour upstairs sometimes falls asleep with his 42 inch TV on full blast, above my bedroom.

I sleep in noise blocking headphones now.

Gonegirl Tue 22-Jan-19 22:47:57

Yes, I, like merlot, thought this was going to be about God.

SpringyChicken Tue 22-Jan-19 23:09:11

The toilet noise is due to him aiming into the water instead of the side of the bowl!

Eloethan Tue 22-Jan-19 23:31:01

Unfortunately, that's one of the disadvantages of living in a poorly soundproofed flat.

I don't think it's worth upsetting or annoying your neighbour by raising this issue.

The trouble is, you may now have become hyper-sensitive to any sound at all. Once I become aware of a ticking clock in the bedroom it becomes quite impossible to ignore it.

I hope some of the suggestions made here will help.

GrandmaPam Wed 23-Jan-19 09:53:54

This made me laugh so much MissAdventure!

frue Wed 23-Jan-19 09:59:26

Can't be any help to you but oh, what a help to me to know it's not just me. Have same problem in modern flat but it is husband who uses another bedroom and bathroom who wakes me and disturbs my thinking during the day too. Thought I was getting claustrophic - think it must just be life in too close quarters
Good luck to you

Hm999 Wed 23-Jan-19 09:59:59

When an older house is divided into flats, one condition is that extra soundproofing is put in between the floors. Does one person own the whole house, or the freehold? Do you pay a maintenance charge? You could ask this person or the group who own the freehold if soundproofing could be put in, or just thick carpet put into the room above your bedroom.

NotSpaghetti Wed 23-Jan-19 10:05:53

Perhaps the poor chap is losing his hearing so that's why he's speaking loudly.
Don't think you can do anything about it personally. Having once lived I a "noisy" flat, once you accept it, it is less irritating!

jessycake Wed 23-Jan-19 10:22:19

I think your problem is living in an old house , I doubt he is doing very much out of the ordinary. In my house sound seems magnified upstairs ,my daughter shifting about in bed sounds like she is moving furniture and she most certainly isn't .

icanhandthemback Wed 23-Jan-19 10:25:20

Are the flats rented or owned? If they are rented, you can ask his landlord to make the flat comply with current regulations. Alternatively, ring the council and see what they advise.

grannytotwins Wed 23-Jan-19 10:26:37

My father lived in a new build flat, fully carpeted. The lady in the flat below complained about him moving from room to room, constantly. It made him scared to do anything and made him depressed and miserable. He eventually moved out. I’m sure the man upstairs has no idea that you can hear him and would be embarrassed and upset if he knew.

junie1 Wed 23-Jan-19 10:30:01

Put on a fluffy pair of ear muffs
Go and say hello, and ask if he got any slippers for Christmas.
It should start a friendly conversation.


gillyjp Wed 23-Jan-19 10:30:41

Had a fair few years of this myself. When we lived in the top flat above shops we had a rather horrible downstairs neighbour. My daughter was only about two and she used to toddle up the hallway to our bedroom. Well that started a rather unpleasant bout of the neighbour banging her flat door closed, which made us all jump out of our skin. After this, any time my daughter made even a slight noise she would bang her flat door. It was like living on a knife edge and to this day has made me jumpy about people making a noise in my house. The next thing that happened was when it became obvious I was pregnant with my second child, she'd shout out as we were passing her flat (to access the main street door) that we were 'breeding like rabbits'. My then husband was from India, and we were also racially abused by her. My daughter is now 45 so it was in the days when racial abuse was not a crime in the legal sense. It wouldn't happen today so blatantly, but it was highly unpleasant and has left a lasting effect on me. These days she'd be taken to court and prosecuted.

Lewie Wed 23-Jan-19 10:31:16

Find another place to live asap. That sort of thing can become a living nightmare.

NannyEm Wed 23-Jan-19 10:32:32

I used to live in a unit with a shared wall between me and the old gentleman next door. While we could hear him on the phone we knew he was alright. One time we didn't hear him for a few days and my children who were young teenagers at the time were positive they could smell an unusual smell. Ended up ringing up his son and it turned out he was on holidays. After that he used to tell us if he was going away.

inishowen Wed 23-Jan-19 10:32:47

When we were in the kitchen of the house I grew up in we could hear everything that went on in the bathroom directly above. I was so used to it I didn't notice. It was only when my brother brought his girlfriend home and she commented on the embarrassing noises that I became aware. As for your man upstairs I would say nothing. He would be embarrassed I'm sure.

Annaram1 Wed 23-Jan-19 10:33:17

I live in a large old ground floor flat. I can hear people walking upstairs and flushing the loo, but no actual peeing etc. Their bedroom is above my living room/lounge/sitting room and their living room/l/s/ is above my kitchen. They only moved in a few days ago so I can hear furniture being moved about, but they do have carpets and things may get noisier, but as my flat is on the market I don't really care. I am up until well after midnight and its possible they may already be in bed while I am listening to the TV, so they may be disturbed by that.

Annaram1 Wed 23-Jan-19 10:36:23

By the way I have lived in houses and I don't think it is any quieter, especially in a terraced or semi, as you can hear a lot through the walls. Outside people drive cars, rev up motorbikes, and talk loudly.
Unless you live in a desert you have to expect some sort of noise.

Welshwife Wed 23-Jan-19 10:52:59

If you own the flat it might be worth considering insulating the ceilings. We did it to our house - used insulated plasterboard to do it - and the improvement in warmth as well as quietness was very good.

Abigailmckd Wed 23-Jan-19 10:57:50

Sometimes I hear building work.i turn on the radio and listen to can mask really annoying noise.