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the man upstairs

(119 Posts)
b1zzle Tue 22-Jan-19 12:09:20

Ever since I have lived in the ground floor flat of an old house ( few months) the last sound I hear at night is the gentleman in the flat above me peeing. Ditto on waking up. It sounds like a horse relieving itself! He's late 60s or early 70s and everything he does is loud: talks on the phone (I can hear every word); moves furniture round (all the time) and stomps rather than walks. I've tried moving my bed round the bedroom but there's no escaping the noise of either his bathroom antics; stamping feet or marathon telephone shouting. Should I be brave and try to talk to him?

DoraMarr Thu 07-Feb-19 12:08:09

Luckylegs, don’t dismiss all flats. Mine is nine years old and has such good insulation I hardly need any heating, and it is completely soundproofed. I never hear the people above or below or to the side ( Ihave a corner apartment) and friends who live in the building say the same.

Luckylegs9 Thu 07-Feb-19 11:59:11

Well it's put me off living in a flat, it would drive me mad, I like quiet. I will gave to rethink my downsizing.

nannygoon Wed 06-Feb-19 13:52:53

I have lived under similar conditions. It is really annoying and awful. The problem, as I see it, is poor building, not noisy people usually. I would tackle the nonsense of folk having laminate flooring down as an exception. I moved into a low down flat, gosh, nightmare. The person upstairs worked nights and came in at 7.10 am on the dot. It got to the stage if I woke up around 6ish for the loo, I used to just stay up. No point in going back to bed to be woken up an hour later. I ended up having to speak to the neighbour, nicely and said please be aware when you come in, I am under you sleeping. Even on Sundays, I felt I was being dictated to as and when I got out of bed. I ended up moving out.

M0nica Sat 26-Jan-19 20:42:38

humptydumpty could you talk to the flat owner about asking the young men not to make too much noise, because sound carries through to the flat below?

If you own your flat (and can afford it), could you consider an acoustic ceiling? I mentioned this with some details in a post further up the thread.

humptydumpty Sat 26-Jan-19 20:35:16

Sadly I think this sad fate has also befallen me, which I was dreading. I bought the ground floor maisonette 4 years ago; the maisonette above is rented out and so far we have been really lucky with our upstairs neighbours, but we now have new neighbours who, last Sunday, had a dinner(?) party which went on until 3 in the morning. I think they're young men, who stomp around and shout to each other between rooms.

I have lived like this before and just can't face it again, already thinking that I may have to try to sell up even though the mortgage isn't paid off yet and I'm too old to get another one.

Any advice would be much appreciated sad

M0nica Fri 25-Jan-19 09:47:22

Some leases have a clause saying that the floors must be carpetted, for exactly the reasons given. The other thing to investigate , if you own the flat is the possibility of putting some type of insulation board on the ceiling.

Googl e'sound proof a ceiling'. There are specialist insulation contractors who could advise and fit ceiling sound insulation.

Elizabeth1 Thu 24-Jan-19 12:21:31

Elegran So funny smile
Young boys should get the relevant training should they ever move into an upstairs flat. Hope I’m not being sexist here.

I remember going to Canada and found the accommodation horrible and not only because I could hear either side of me peeing at all times. Thankfully I was given a move to a hotel with soundproofing. Whew.

Elegran Thu 24-Jan-19 12:11:02

In other words - point Percy at the porcelain!

monkeebeat Thu 24-Jan-19 11:32:44

This comment has a message for alot of men who seem unaware of the discomfort others can experience whilst having to listen to the cascade into the toilet.
May I suggest, not necessarily to help with this particular post but to people in general,
-close bathroom door when using
- maybe place toilet paper in toilet bowl prior to pee-ing
But, ideally-
aim for the back of the toilet not the waterline.
General thought is it will have to be ear plugs for you at night, , blzzle, I guess.

Caro57 Thu 24-Jan-19 10:52:17

Why do some men insist on peeing straight into the water? If they could manage to pee onto the porcelain the sound effects would be reduced dramatically!

Felix2007 Thu 24-Jan-19 08:26:00

Horrible noise. You should look at your lease as it would say if all flats should have carpets.

Felix2007 Thu 24-Jan-19 08:25:01

Since then the noise has been amplified. There are carpets in other rooms which is fine. I have told him we can hear it but he has taken no notice. My husband pees sitting down which avoids th

Felix2007 Thu 24-Jan-19 08:23:18

I do sympathise with you. We are in a downstairs flat and can hear the upstairs neighbour peeing every morning. There used to be a carpet in his bathroom which was taken up and sinc

FountainPen Wed 23-Jan-19 23:58:39

Of course you should go and talk to him but not in a confrontational complaining manner. Bake a cake, go knock and introduce yourself. You may find yourself invited in for a cuppa and a chance to get to know him. You will get an indication of how loud his voice is in normal conversation. Maybe he has a parent who is hard or hearing and that's why he's raising his voice on the phone. You'll see what furniture he is moving. Dining chairs? A small table to eat TV dinner from. He surely can't be moving large items around "all the time". If he has a cuppa maybe you will get a chance to hear the peeing from another room!

Joking aside, the point is that you will get to know him. If he's a decent chap you may find your tolerance level for the noise increases. If it were the noise of a loved one permeating from an upstairs room in a house you would surely be more tolerant. It's the noise of strangers we find hard. It can feel like an insult. If you and he can become friends, it'll be easier to tackle the issue of noise if it continues to bother you.

Nanny41 Wed 23-Jan-19 23:29:35

Oh dear noises like that are a nuisance, but be glad it isnt a young couple making noises all night.
About carpets, not a solution for the elderly gentleman, often carpets or rugs etc can be the cause of falls.
Good luck with this problem.

PECS Wed 23-Jan-19 20:44:10

ican what good & thoughtful landlords! smile Many get bad press so great to hear from the responsible ones too!

Magicmaggie Wed 23-Jan-19 20:33:53

Bikergran and lazigirl
I agree they are expensive, I was left some money by a
relative, that I was not expecting, so to save my sanity
and the fact we couldn’t afford soundproofing , got them.
They really are comfy to wear and you do get three different sizes to fit your ear channels.
Also I read the reviews, and am very pleased with them.
Plus they help to drown out my tinnitus in my right ear

icanhandthemback Wed 23-Jan-19 19:44:54

We have a house that has been converted into 2 flats many years ago. The downstairs flat has a garden so when the flat became vacant the upstairs tenant asked to move downstairs. We were quite happy with that, she was a good uncomplaining tenant.
We let the flat upstairs to a very young couple (Dad had ADHD) who were expecting a baby any day. Nobody else would give them a chance so we said we would. Big mistake. After the baby was born my downstairs tenants were besides themselves with the noise. Dad was like a baby elephant and when the baby cried in the night, downstairs could hear them argue about who was getting up, clomping across the floor, etc. The lady downstairs was also very embarrassed because she could hear every noise when they went to the toilet and she realised that, for the past 5 years, the downstairs tenants must have been listening to her!
I'm not sure that the council could have done anything if there had been a complaint but as a Landlady, I felt duty bound to make their lives more comfortable. We soundproofed under the floor boards and we laid extra thick underlay under the upstairs carpet to muffle the noise. It cost about £500 but it was money well spent. Unfortunately, relations between all the tenants were well and truly compromised so the young couple left.

Lazigirl Wed 23-Jan-19 18:59:59

I was too bikergran, had never heard of them and they are eye wateringly expensive, but cheaper than soundproofing I'm thinking. I was wondering how comfortable they are to wear because I roll around a lot at night?

PECS Wed 23-Jan-19 18:56:44

It is annoying when you move and then discover the irritations of neighbours/ local sounds. however I think it is hard to expect people to limit their normal daily life. If it was partying, practising trombone in the early hours etc. that is different but normal living noises?
We moved from a busy London road with night buses to a house that is very close to a station. We are not bothered by train noises..but in the summer I do get tired of regularly being told to carry a bottle of water with me!

bikergran Wed 23-Jan-19 18:42:10

oh my gosh was curious bout the "Bose sleep buds" shock the price!

llizzie2 Wed 23-Jan-19 18:32:16

After reading all this I am wondering whether I should sell my house after all!! My health is poor and my daughter one and a half hours away and I really would love to move, but this house is so quiet. I cannot hear any noise and no one complains about my noise either. The house is detached and set back from the other houses in the row and is the end of a cul-de-sac, so that my house front starts where the other houses end. It might be that is the reason or perhaps my neighbours trees that are damaging my gutters and fascias muffle sound. We built an extension to live downstairs and this sits between the gardens of two rows of houses - if you get my drift! I do, however get noise travelling through water pipes - my own, so it is possible that the op could do something to deaden sound?

llizzie2 Wed 23-Jan-19 18:21:57

Bizzle: I do feel very sorry for you. He would probably ignore you if you spoke. It might be that he will do worse now he knows you are upset by it. Best to say nothing because that could start a row. Since 1995 my next door neighbour has done a lot of things and I have ignored him and not spoken and each year he gets worse, hoping I will do something. Turning the other cheek is hard and painful but best, I think. do you have central heating pipes and radiators? The sound might be travelling along the pipes and echoing. If it is, then sound proofing the walls and ceiling might not be effective.

Hollydoilly10 Wed 23-Jan-19 18:21:18

Just move as soon as you can.

MissAdventure Wed 23-Jan-19 17:51:23

Honestly, how many minutes of a day is spent piddling? (Rhetorical question!)
A couple of minutes, even if it was 20 times a day isn't that long.