To be annoyed about the wedding plans?

Sympathies, but she is obviously enjoying this so much and is so excited - why prick the bubble of happiness? It will be over before you know it and then you can resume the kind of relationship you had before...apart from the few weeks of discussing what happened instead of what is to happen. I'm sure we all do this to a degree when there is something huge in our lives, and it sounds like you are being a really kind, tolerant friend, albeit a slightly frazzled one! Enjoy the day - you can with a clear conscience if you don't knock your friend back.

Not a wedding, that was 5 years ago, but my sister rings me up with an inane excuse and almost without pausing for my reply, launches straight into her latest doctors/hospial/dentist visit or her upcoming operations, plus her husband's ailments! After the 2nd or 3rd go round, I switch off, say yes or no in the right places.
It is a family joke that we 'never' ask her how she is unless we have an hour or two to spare. Obviously we are there for her if it's serious but to be rung up during your dinner and have to listen, in detail, to skin grafts or worse, body functions malfunctioning is a tad off putting,

She's excited bless her, it's a big thing being mother of the bride! Being her friend you should be excited with her?
Not a wee bit jealous are you ?

Is it just the wedding or is she always self absorbed? If just the wedding and she's a good friend indulge her. If it's the same with everything it's a different kettle of fish.

It's only a big thing to the mother of the bride though.

It sounds like she's really 'over the moon' about this wedding. Having said that, when it comes to a dear friend we can either grin and bear it or risk jeopardizing a good friendship.

Look at it this way.....as tedious as she's become, once the wedding is over, she'll go into withdrawal and you can take a much needed break before a grandchild comes along!

I'm quite relieved to learn that others have friends like this too. I have very dear friend who drives me mad . We spend all our regular meetings talking about her life & family . Sometimes I think my ears well drop off !
I can see , when I talk , that her eyes glaze and she gazes off into the middle distance ( I hope I'm not that boring . Others assure me in not .)
She's now developed a really upsetting habit . I am allowed to speak for a few minutes then it's back to her .... and she actually says , " just to change the subject !"
Aaaaaaaaghhh !
Pointing this out would just upset her so I grin and bear it .

Give her a break
It will naturally come to an end ... much of the fun of a wedding is in the preparation... the day itself just flies past and is done...
they are just all involved and excited...

Not weddings, but when I meet a certain friend for coffee-and lunch - the conversation is 90% about her ,her family and the holidays she and her DH go on frequently. Have now seen her special birthday party photos twice and each time been told which family member ( lots of them ):is which and likewise with large number of friends. I was at the party and it WAS very enjoyable ,but enough is enough!
It’ s difficult to get a word in about anything, usually.
She is over enthusiastic about everything ,which is fine, but does get s bit OTT when ‘amazing’ is used so frequently!
She is a very good hearted person and It would be hard to stop meeting up every few weeks. So be it!

Well get involved no sour grapes, suggest a shopping trip together for wedding outfits, thats always fun, when my stepdaughter was getting married we spent a lot of time together talking weddings, its very girlie stuff. Suggest a shopping trip or visit a wedding fair. Visit a florist to look at flowers,perhaps help out with planning , and she will be very grateful for your support and help and once the wedding is over you can then share photos and know that you supported her and you still have a friend.

Try saying 'Yes - you said' whenever she repeats herself. Sounds rude? Yes it does but repeating things over and over is both inconsiderate and rude imo…..unless, of course, she cannot help it due to some kind of deficit, in which case perhaps you should consider saying it to draw her attention to something she may be unaware of.

I just can’t relate to this.

A close good friend is very excited about a life event.

Another 4 poxy months of hearing about it. Nothing in the big picture. I’d sit there and listen and be a friend (and be happy for her!)

I have a friend like this. She is a poor listener and turns everything into anecdotes about her life and her late husband on every single occasion. It is worse when we are in a captive situation. At the book club she ruins everyone's reviews by interrupting with her own opinion and anecdotes. When it's her turn she doesn't know when to stop.

Having read some other responses, I've had a rethink - is it possible that your friend may be quite anxious about the wedding? Perhaps that is why she keeps talking about it. Maybe she is worried about 'losing' her daughter? Or anxious that the wedding will not live up to expectations?
Dig a little deeper....she may have concerns.

Oh, let her yak, yak, yakkity for now - she may have little else she considers worth bothering about in her life, I suppose.

Maybe there's going to be a yawning chasm for her to face when the wedding is over? Maybe.

I can only say that the posters who say be kind and let her talk, have never experienced this,
It may be with the OP, it is only this wedding and then it will stop but to have someone for whom it is a lifestyle it is awful.
I COULD cut this person I posted about out of my life but the guilt I would feel is not worth it to me.
She is widowed and lonely apart from her family who are the subjects of her endless boasting.
Her family are all extremely wealthy, blessed with magnificent brains and top of their field in anything they do.

The same for me, ann.
It reduces me to tears sometimes when she is gone (for a couple of hours, if I'm lucky)

I would joke about it next time she starts.. as in, ‘what, your daughter is getting married? You haven’t mentioned that before! Why didn’t you tell me?’ With a big smile.

So much wedding talk I would ask if there is anything you can do to help with plans don’t be a grumpy guest indulge your friend it’s a big thing for all of us
I loved being motb and happy to support my friends as their time comes

I wonder how it would go if you sweetly said " don't tell me too much, I'm so looking forward to the day and want it to be a surprise"

Good luck.

I have a friend like this , only her singular conversation is about herself. She goes on and on and on about noisy neighbours, disrespectful younger people, being on her own, her choice that last one by the way! I try to meet up with her two or three times a year and as neither drives that’s quite some journey for both of us. She phones me EVERY night, and sometimes I just have to blank the call. She’s the reason I had caller- ID on my phone . When I do answer the call ... she asks how I am and never ever waits for the answer.... she goes straight on to her problems , her health, her lack of support by a very few family members. Try telling her it’s her self obsessiveness that might be causing people to blank her and all hell is let loose. She’s becoming quite a hypochondriac as well, and visits the doctor incessantly, at least once a month. Try telling her I’m waiting for my appointment that was made three weeks ago; for two weeks in future she blanks me and moves on to her latest obsession with health. To my mind nothing wrong that dropping g three stone and finding out where to buy fresh veg wouldn’t cure. She is driving me bonkers. These so-called friends can become pretty toxic I’m afraid. What to do about them though that’s the point!

Yes, that would drive me bananas too. I had a friend who would tell me every tiny detail about the lives of her children and said she spoke to her daughters on the phone every day for about an hour each 'because we're a close family' - which I found challenging as I wondered if she was implying mine wasn't! Then it was her GC, and I tried hard to listen but any attempt at sharing my own live events was turned back to hers. I found it more and more infuriating and demeaning, but as I was becoming unwell with depression I put it down to selfishness on my part. It got worse and I began to find it all very toxic and my anxiety and feelings of inadequacy spilled over as I could no longer keep them hidden for the sake of friendship. After 25 years of friendship and long complicated story short, our little craft business had to split and we had a bitter and acrimonious split. It was horrible and I am most definitely partly to blame. No reason why this should happen to anyone else, but just pointing out the dangers of not addressing painful feelings and difficulties in a friendship.

Neptune - you don't mention whether your friend has ever been obsessive and hogged your conversations before - if not then she really is being consumed by excitement and you might forgive her a little for this. However, it she is so easily absorbed by the wedding, then if and when a pregnancy occurs, the pattern will be the same, so you do need to make some changes, albeit slight ones. I agree with the idea of being proactive and starting off your interaction by asking for the 'wedding news', but saying this in such a way like "Come on then, tell what's new on the wedding front" before I tell you my news. You need to flag that each time you meet, so she gets the idea that it's all about turn-taking, and if she brings your contribution round to the wedding again, you need to say light-heartedly something like "oh, we're back to the wedding again - how did that happen!". This is actually in your friend's interests because if she persists in being the bore that she's become she will lose other friends less gracious than yourself.

Saggi, could you tell a white lie to your friend to stop the every night phone calls. I think I would tell her that you have a commitment ( job, club, helping someone, babysitting,) in the evenings and would only be able to chat at the weekend.

Repeating yourself is a sign of aging isn't it?

Repeating yourself is a sign of aging isn't it?

I never understand why people find it irritating when others speak of what is going on in their lives. We all do don't we? We talked about our boyfriends, breakups, weddings, being pregnant, decorating/garden projects, house moves, divorce, illness, grandkids. You talk about what's going on in your life at that time. Good or bad. Some of my friends have had good times, telling me about exciting trips abroad, or bad, when a good friend of mine had a breakdown over her marriage breakup. She went on and on but she had to let it all out to come through the other side. My friends all give and take. I love their proud moments and try to be a shoulder when they have their bad ones.

Sometimes they've monopolised conversations, sometimes I have. Times to listen, times to talk.

We all have one friend who dramatizes everything whether she's experienced it or not. Which could be frustrating but we laugh about it mostly. For example, if one of our kids has got up to something worrying, her very well behaved kids will be the worst in the world and she'll bring up the time they dropped the cornflakes or something and say 'So look at what I've had to put up with' when you've just been to the police station to get your 14 year old son out because he joined a protest march

But we know that's 'just her' and we take no notice and she's got lots of good points. Very entertaining when out for example. I could write a book of her exploits.

So let your friend have her moment. Some people have no friends.