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AIBU

A ‘ Three Generation’ holiday

(84 Posts)
Ranworth1 Sat 16-Mar-19 22:12:35

I would like to treat my three DC, their wives/partners and DGC to a family holiday. My younger DS and DD are happy with my suggestion of a cruise which caters for children (with clubs, etc), but the eldest DS and his wife say a cruise is totally unsuitable for their 2 DC who will be aged almost 7 and nearly 4. They would prefer a villa, near a beach and swimming pools. However the ship has 4 pools, and lots of options for entertainment. My partner, and some of my friends, have had very successful cruise holidays with their DCs and DGC. Any comments!?

aggie Sat 16-Mar-19 22:30:56

one persons treat is another's hell

lilypollen Sat 16-Mar-19 23:09:24

I guess you're up against the "cruising's not for me" argument and it's shame that they can't accept your generosity and cruise suggestion. We started cruising over 20 years ago with our young children and DS2 took his own 2 (ages 2 and 5) on one last year, they loved it. It definitely would offer something for everyone.

MissAdventure Sat 16-Mar-19 23:11:37

Well, if one section of the family don't want to go, I suppose you may have to think again.

tanith Sun 17-Mar-19 06:40:55

Not much you can do other than suggest something else that everyone is happy with. A cruise isn’t for everyone, myself included it’s just not appealing to me.

Anja Sun 17-Mar-19 06:57:56

Nor me.

Maggiemaybe Sun 17-Mar-19 07:01:27

Nor me particularly, but if someone was kindly offering to pay for me and mine, I’d accept graciously and gratefully! It could be that the rest of the family don’t fancy a villa holiday, so someone will have to compromise. Good luck, Ranworth!

Jane10 Sun 17-Mar-19 07:33:42

We are also going on a three generation holiday this summer. We're going to a large old fashioned hotel in the Scottish Borders. There's plenty to do for everyone with children's activities laid on as well as lots for the middle geneneration to do and a pleasant level of involvement for us oldies. It's something we did for years when our children were young and we all loved it. DH and I love a cruise and this hotel has somehow always reminded us of one. No need to sail. Why not try to find a 'ship ashore'?

Welshwife Sun 17-Mar-19 08:19:34

What about anyone being sea-sick? I am not got on a breezy day in the Channel.

Baggs Sun 17-Mar-19 08:30:34

It's not unreasonable for one of your offspring to say a cruise doesn't appeal to them. I think you just have to accept that. Perhaps take the ones who do want to go and do something else with the remaining family.

I gather your partner isn't your kids' father. Might this make a difference? Just asking.

cornergran Sun 17-Mar-19 08:31:25

Our lot would love a cruise, sadly we couldn’t fund one for us all. Would it be worth gently asking why there is a thought that a cruise is unsuitable for children of that age? Lots of ship board activities for children. We had a short family holiday last year, rented a huge house after checking with everyone what they would like from the time away. Perhaps go back to basics. What would everyone, including you, enjoy? I’m sorry your offer isn’t working out as you hoped, must be frustrating but if you focus on ensuring you all enjoy being together perhaps the what and how of it would matter less.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sun 17-Mar-19 08:37:09

The phrase 'you can't please them all' comes to mind. On the face of it, cruising has a lot to offer but not everyone is a good sailor. What about something land-based like Centreparks?

Witzend Sun 17-Mar-19 08:53:33

If they want to be near a beach, I can see why a cruise probably wouldn't appeal. Dh and I love the sea, ditto dds always, so regardless of plenty of pools on a cruise ship - pools just aren't the same - we'd never have chosen to be ON the sea, with only perhaps the odd chance of being IN it.

Parents with young children are presumably working, which means that annual leave is very precious, so I don't think they're really being U to want the kind of holiday they'd prefer.

M0nica Sun 17-Mar-19 08:55:14

I think the children are an excuse, the son and DiL just do not fancy a cruise holiday. It would not be my choice either. I would find being stuck on a cruise ship, no matter how big, with all my family, completely suffocating.

Everyone has their own preferences, when we celbrated our golden wedding last year with family and friends holiday we rented a big house (like small stately home) in the centre of a historic town with a mainline railway. People naturally gathered into different groups each day to go off to enjoy the town or travel to other nearby towns and attracttions and we all gathered in the evening to eat together and talk. Plenty of space, inside and out, no arguments and everyone enjoyed hemselves.

harrigran Sun 17-Mar-19 08:57:15

I would refuse the offer of a cruise too, not my idea of a holiday especially with children. I do not want to be confined with two or three thousand others.
When we have family holidays abroad it is in a villa with a private pool.

Caro57 Sun 17-Mar-19 09:35:17

Never look a gift horse in the mouth - they should be thankful you want to spend that much time with them......at your expense

MissAdventure Sun 17-Mar-19 09:37:05

I wouldn't want someone to waste their money on something I wouldn't enjoy.

Shortlegs Sun 17-Mar-19 09:37:27

My grandfather used to say "Please yourself, at least you'll know one bugger that will be happy".

jenpax Sun 17-Mar-19 09:42:36

I treated my 3 AC partners and (at the time) 5 GC’s to a trip to Euro Disney a couple of Christmas back. It was a great holiday for the DGC and the SIL’s😁 but I know my DD’s and I would have preferred a city break! You can please some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time!
I have been on a couple of cruises in the past when I was young, and really enjoyed them! and as you say there is loads to do for all ages. I think there is a mistaken view that cruises are all for pensioners and nothing for the younger ones, it certainly wasn’t my experience. As others have suggested maybe revisit the holiday and take a vote?

NannyinOgmore Sun 17-Mar-19 09:51:08

A 'cruise and stay' holiday might satisfy your needs?

trisher Sun 17-Mar-19 10:02:12

I've only done one cruise and it was a disaster. I've done holidays abroad in a villa with my DS and wife and their children aged 14, 5 and 2. It was ideal as when teenager and I wanted some down time the others went out for the day and we lounged round the pool. Perhaps your DS and his wife enjoy peace and quiet sometimes and can't see how they would get that on a huge cruise ship. Didn't someone once say Hell is other peoples'children? (just looked that up and apparently Sartre said "Hell is other people" then someone added children.)

Coconut Sun 17-Mar-19 10:02:52

Send an email, cc them all with the dilemma and ask for suggestions considering each other ... the balls then in their court and makes them realise there are others to think about. Hope it goes well ....

newnanny Sun 17-Mar-19 10:18:16

We like a cruise holiday but on our own. For family holidays we always rented a larger villa where grand parents, children and grandchildren have mote space and always close to beach and markets my mil loves so much.

Hellsgrandad Sun 17-Mar-19 10:35:40

The best cross generation I and my family ever had was at Centre Parcs. Something for everyone in a secure and safe environment.

Cobweb01 Sun 17-Mar-19 10:37:11

You are treating them, they should be grateful or simply decline your generous offer.