Are Postmen/Postwomen friendly, nosey or both?

I get a competition magazine delivered each month. We had a postman who was very interested and began asking me what I'd won, how many comps I entered etc., I felt it was none of his business. Luckily he moved on.

I would just say thanks when taking the post and ignore any comments or questions as others have said. He's probably just trying to be sociable but overstepping the mark

I have a lovely postman - I can always tell when he is on holiday because the post comes earlier, he stops and talks to everyone (although never makes comments about mail). When I am away on holiday he will walk around the house to check everything is OK. As most of my neighbours work he will often ask me to take in parcels - which I am happy to do and if I am out when he has a parcel for me will leave it in a safe place to save me a trip to the post office.

I've had the same postie for 8.5 years with the exception of holiday cover. At those times he leaves me a note to tell me that he's briefed his counterpart on where to leave packages and, more importantly, how to find my house which is kind of 'hidden'.
He's a gem.

Why on earth do you see him so often? Unless packages are being delivered my postie just puts post through the letterbox! I'm not even sure what he/she looks like.

The postmen/women where I live seem to work on a rota, so we have about three different ones. All of them are friendly but not nosey. Yours does seem a bit cheeky but could be he is like this with everyone he delivers parcels to. Some people are more curious/nosey than others in every walk of life though. I would just smile when he delivers your parcels and perhaps say how useful it is to be able to shop on line and leave it at that, particularly as as he will leave parcels in a designated safe place for you. You don't have to explain your deliveries to him and if he is new to this he will hopefully stop being so inquisitive given time.

My postman is suggstive.

Suggestive

For the last 30 years I've had a wonderful postman. I shall miss him when he retires.
I have never had any complaint against any post person anywhere. Perhaps you are just unlucky

You don't have to justify your deliveries to any one.
Leave a box/ container of your choice outside your door and attach a note saying
ie 'Please place in this container items that are too large for the letter box.'.

A simple “I’d rather not talk about it” is all it needs and he will soon get the message ! Or pretend you are on the phone “ can’t talk as am busy” ....

Been reading thread with interest my son is a postman, could it be he is just having a bit of friendly banter with you and as you post is the only thing you have in common that’s why he remarks in it. You don’t have to make conversation with him as others have posted just say thanks and close the door

Should be your post ?

I can quite see why these comments are annoying you, they would me too, but presumably the man is only trying to be friendly.

Could you jokingly point out that he is being a little too intrusive? Next time he makes a remark, say, "You are a right Nosy Parker, aren't you?" or something similar.

My husband is ex postie and delivery office manager. He agrees its a bit too personal but suggests, as others have, to ignore that type of remark and just accept the packet. Respond to normal chit chat. He'll soon get the message.

Oh your poor postie just sounds like he's trying to be friendly and engage you in conversation Larsonsmum . I have had the same postie for a few years and we are on first name terms now. He often knocks with the post on a Tuesday because he knows I am usually working from home and am looking after the baby too. I know all about his children and grandchildren and we often compare notes. It wouldn't bother me one jot if he commented on my post...….. in fact he often does. He once handed me a bundle containing 2-3 brown envelopes and I told him where he could shove them....his answer was "well if you paid your bloomin' bills on time woman, I wouldn't have to keep bringing you these final demands"

My brother is a long serving postman. I know lots of his customers enjoy a chat and some banter and his cards and tips at Christmas show he is much appreciated. I think too that he is just trying to be friendly and make conversation. Just take your mail and if he comments say something like I'm afraid I'm not a chatty person, thank you, goodbye.

I feel rather guilty after complaining to the PO about my postman as he has now been removed from my round and I hope my complaint did not lead to him getting the sack. I was frustrated after he twice left a card saying he had been unable to deliver a parcel when I was actually in the house! It probably took him longer to write the card than to ring my doorbell!

On the second occasion when I rearranged delivery for a later day ( I have limited mobility and so am unable to get the the main sorting office which has no parking) I sat in my bed room so I could see my front door and saw that once again he did not ring the bell and was beginning to write a card. I dashed to the door and opened it just as he was trying to post the card. I then asked him why he had not tried to deliver the parcel and when he said he had rung the bell, I pressed it and amazingly it worked!

I was so annoyed that I phoned the complaints number on the card and persevered with the system to get to speak to someone.

I still have no idea what his reluctance to deliver the parcel was all about!

I don’t understand the toenail painting comment - help please!
My postie offered to fetch anything I needed when I was on crutches and could not drive. I think it is a must to know and appreciate someone who comes to the door most days and could be a lifeline.

TEACHERANNE sometime ago on a thread someone said that this happens if the postman doesn’t want to carry a parcel around if it is big or heavy. I too have had a non delivery card when I know I was at home.

I envy those of you who have had the same (hopefully nice) postman for many years. Ours change just as we have got them trained up.

Definitely too nosey and intrusive as opposed to helpful. If you are worried about the repercussions of reporting him to Royal Mail you may not need to be. We had a wonderful wonderful postman that everyone signed petitions to keep in our village but no his post had to be rotated. New postman was awful. One day he had a parcel to deliver, I was at the back door and there were 3 builders vans on my drive and builders at work. He rang the doorbell but before I could get there had disappeared and left me a note to collect at the general sorting office 4 miles away. I was so hopping mad I went online and complained. Do you know what he improved after that, even to the point of leaving things in a safe place for me.

I think your postman is just being friendly. If our postman just handed over the post without a word I would think of him as being a miserable so and so but if you're upset, I would just smile and say to him 'You don't miss much do you'.

Tuppenc

Feelingmyage55 Ask GG54 about her toenail painting postie

I have never quite understood this need to keep everything private unless you are running a crack den or a cannabis farm in your sitting room. Who cares who knows your business around the village, especially as you are having some problems with your health. If people know they will treat you with kindness.

Your postie sounds like a friendly chap who is simply picking out something in common, i.e. what he is delivering to you, to pass the time of day. He would probably be mortified if he thought you were taking offence. And please don't take others advice to call the P.O. or snottily rebuff him. As 26 miles to pick up parcels is a long way if you're not that well.

If he were marching into your home, inspecting the contents of your fridge, painting your toenails (sorry GG, couldn't resist ) or looking at your bank statements I would be concerned.

You never know if you had a fall, or something, whether this kindly chap may come to your aid.

It's attitudes like some have shown on this thread, that has made people less friendly, the elderly more cut off because of neighbours being afraid to intervene or help as they can be accused of allsorts.

Gonegirl bullying? Really? I don't think so.

Stay on friendly terms. Make jokes about your Pongy cheese and I'm sure, unless he's dim (he can find his way to your house) he understands you are simply someone he regards as needing a cheery voice from time to time.

I hope OP's postman is not modelling his behaviour too closely on that of Willy Nilly the Llareggub postman in Under Milk Wood, whose wife steams the letters open before he sets off on his rounds.

Living in Greater London, I have a variety of posties and cannot remember speaking to any of them.

I think we must have the same postman. He is over stepping the mark just as ours did. I have halted his sheer nosiness by ignoring intrusive questions even if it does make for an awkward moment. He now has the message. I came very close to putting in an official complaint. You have my sympathy, just be firm, friendly, but don't engage in personal conversation.