I'm a first time poster and have been wondering if I am doing the right thing. I left my husband two years ago after his behaviour towards me become intolerable. Psychological abuse mainly, although it was bearable when I had the children to consider. However I've not had an easy menopause and my patience and tolerance levels have totally exhausted, i.e he continued to sulk, gave me 'the silence treatment' , hiding pieces of my jewellery, belittling me in front of friends to the extent I have spent the last 10 years being very uncomfortable inviting anyone over, he starts DIY jobs and never ever finishes anything, he has previously pretended to be in employment when he wasn't, expecting me to fund a new car, and to pay off his debts. I simply can not face retirement with man. But I ask myself whether this is the menopause taking over my rational decision making? I must have loved him once, we had 3 children together, now grown up with their own lives. But for the life of me I do not know what I ever saw in him. I have worked hard and full time all my life and I know this could be financial suicide but we have enough equity in our house to buy a modest house each. But he will not agree to divorce after 2 years separation and I do not wish get into a tit for tat legal wrangle or to upset the family dynamics by telling the family the truth. I am also lonely and isolated on a small rented flat.
He has however got himself decent employment since I left ,but threatens to give it up if we divorce to maximise what he can claim. I seek a 50/50 split. Any wise words out there please?
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