Is it me?

Gabrielle No I don’t keep a running commentary on what I am doing, but H usually makes a cup of tea for me at night, and if I just disappeared he would say “ I didn’t know you had gone up to bed”, and no, he’s not deaf!

We are not asking for a dissertation are we fellow sufferers, just an “OK”

Just tell him "I am going to have a bath" and go. Don't wait for a response since he doesn't think you need one. If he asks where you've been you can tell him and say that you did tell him, so there!!

We don't tend to tell each other things like going for a shower, might say it and add so if the phone rings and its so and so can you tell them to ring back. Always tell each other when we go out some where, shops, the tip etc. My bugbear is he will answer a question with a question. Shall we have chicken for dinner, answer why not. (because we don't bloody well have a chicken could be my answer back)

You cannot win with the not answering argument. Either
- he heard but didn't need to answer,
- didn't listen, but did that 'instant recall' thing the brain cleverly does when you challenge him so he can repeat exactly what you said, or
- he answers but doesn't know what you said. So he will still say 'where have you been?' when you get out of the bath ('you didn't tell me!') or, he won't have missed you anyway!
My OH pauses the TV when he wants to tell me something, even when we're both watching, and rewinds the programme when I've interrupted his TV viewing? I reckon it's reasonable grounds for manslaughter - the judge would nod in sympathy and send me off for therapy and a spa holiday.

And here’s me been thinking this only happens to me. My new tactic is to wait a few seconds and then say “I was sure I said something just then.....” It usually works! I think just zones me out!

I think DS2 is in training to be one of those. Maybe he already is!

My husband, like dragonfly’s, always answers any suggestion with “we can do.” Just once I’d like to hear “what a good idea!” He also rarely hears the first time I speak so I know I will have to repeat myself. However I have just thought that I can try asking him if he is listening first. Good idea!

I don't hear what is said to me either if I am reading.

My sister on one occasion took the book he was reading out of my father's hands before addressing an important question to him, as she wanted an answer.

However, that is a rather different matter to not receiving an answer to statements we make or questions we ask. DH gets annoyed if I ask whether he actually realised I was saying something, but if he doesn't respond how the heck do I know if he heard me or not?

Lots of humor here, ladies! Love it! But Beckstar and Ruth, your posts take the cake! LOL!

No Atqui, as you can see it's not you. My DH is another one like this. But when he's talking, he expects me to hang on his every word, never mind if I'm in the middle of reading or whatever. Always been this way. IDK if it's an offshoot of the old double standard for husbands and wives or if men are just naturally more self-absorbed/less attune to the needs of others/women.

Love the suggestion to just not say anything and let him ask. Bet he'll pay more attention then. But if you feel you must tell him if you're going into the shower, etc. (b/c he needs to know where you are/that the shower won't be available for a while, etc), then please just don't expect a response. You gave him the info. If he wasn't listening, that's on him.

Hearing can be part of the issue, as some have said, no doubt. But the OP's DH didn't say that. And if it is the issue and he won't admit or do anything about it, that's on him.

i often feel im talking to myself but when challenged i get the same response!

Not sure I'm allowed to respond, as a DH!!!
If my darling wife walked into the room naked, I would surely notice!
I also DO respond when asked a question, when she makes a statement and when asked to do something, which to be honest is most of the time!!!

Well done you Geoff

Wouldn’t mind no response but hate it when WE are in the middle of a conversation (or so I think!) when he walks out of the room as I’m in mid-sentence. That’s rude, I think!

I quite enjoy it when dh doesn't answer, as I'm usually asking does he want something to eat or drink, no answer I get my own.

Phew! I'm finding this thread very reassuring... I thought I was alone

Is it only men that have faults? Are women always SO perfect?

I must admit when its something I feel is important, like I am arranging a time a place to meet when we go to different shops whilst out shopping. I say where and when and then ask him to repeat what I have just said. He does laugh when I do this and says this is so you know I am listening isn't it? Yes and lets check we are both in the same time zone.

john it would be better to start your own thread if you want to broaden the discussion.
It would be interesting to see what replies you elicited.

My husband gets home before me ,as I walk in he doesn’t look up as he is watching the Chase, at the end of it , he comes into the kitchen then to say hello , drives me mad ?

Mine's an engineer too!

Nice to know I'm not alone, as my DH does all of the above!
Drives me crackers!

Once in sheer frustration I said to my ex (surprise, surprise!!) "If I didn't come home for a week you wouldn't notice." to which he blandly replied that he would have just thought I had told him I was going somewhere and he'd forgotten. Men!!!

In our relationship I am the quiet one. Sometimes I have thought my DH likes to talk too much but, having read this thread, I am now grateful he does. He listens to me too so I think I am very lucky.

Surely ignoring someone deliberately is emotionally abusive? And as for the control freak who lifts one leg at a time when his DP is Hoovering! She should make him do the Hoovering.