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(40 Posts)
nana15 Thu 13-Jun-19 22:22:03

Hoping to visit my son and family one weekend and my daughter said she would meet me there [uninvited] saying "We''ll pop over there" I feel stressed that My son and wife are not expecting her visit.I feel like cancelling to avoid conflict. My Daughter always avoids visiting her other Brother if I go there. I feel trapped. I can remember having being invited to 2 Christmas Dinners one time and being unable to refuse! Am I worrying too much?

quizqueen Fri 14-Jun-19 15:48:59

If it's a problem that your daughter wants to pop in to see her brother at the same time as you are visiting, why did you tell her you were going!

Tillybelle Fri 14-Jun-19 15:49:02

Ditto BrandyButter

And sort out your relationship with them all if you can. I can understand trying to get on and not upset any of them but you need to remember you are the Mum and that tiptoeing round people does not help. Just cheerfully keep things out in the open.

Buffybee Fri 14-Jun-19 16:05:20

nana15 can you tell your Son that you happened to mention to his Sister that you were going to visit him and she said that she would see you there. Is that going to be ok or not?
If it's not ok with your Son, I would cancel the visit for this time and next time you arrange visiting your Son, don't mention to your daughter.

annep1 Fri 14-Jun-19 17:25:39

Gosh it's a bit much when you can't telk your children you are visiting one of them But I too have the problem. When my daughter comes I can't tell my son. Very awkward for parents. Children need to get a grip!

Ameliarose Sat 15-Jun-19 11:44:17

Like others wish I had a brother or sister who popped in

Sara65 Sat 15-Jun-19 12:17:57

My children always aim to visit my mother together, they find it less of a strain I think !

Tedber Sat 15-Jun-19 21:22:33

I also can't understand what the problem is...unless there is anything else we are not privvy to? A daughter meeting up with her mother at her brother's house seems perfectly normal to me! But then again...non of my family have to have 'invitations' to visit. So.. Nana with you saying you are thinking of cancelling to avoid conflict....are there conflicts?
If there are then just tell your daughter NO. Don't cancel yourself...

Summerlove Sat 15-Jun-19 23:17:49

Sounds to me like your son would like a solo visit and your daughter is adding herself on? Does your son live in the middle of you and daughter?

I tbink going forward you don’t mention visits to your daughter until after the fact.

It doesn’t sound like they have a great relationship. She needs to arrange her visits to his house with him, not you!

nana15 Sun 16-Jun-19 18:19:02

Alls well ! Many thanks.
Arranged family get together. Loads of love and fun .

Must have been the medication I am on!

annep1 Sun 16-Jun-19 19:40:27

Good ?. Glad it worked out but I'm sure you had reason to be stressed.

Summerlove Wed 19-Jun-19 16:15:36

So glad it all got sorted without issue!

knickas63 Wed 19-Jun-19 16:28:33

It depends on family dynamics. My lot never receive an 'invite' from each other. they just turn up! If you're not in - they go again! Other families are more formaal - so it really depends on that.

Avor2 Wed 19-Jun-19 21:19:09

Families eh? they can be such hard work. Just mention to your son that she may pop round and let them get on with it, and just keep smiling smile

Starlady Sun 23-Jun-19 11:32:28

Glad it worked out, nana15!

In the future, I would not tell DD you're going to her brother's if you're afraid she might decide to "pop over" and they might not like it.

Nor would I try to get her to visit her other brother or meet you at his house. Clearly, there is some tension between them. Please stay out of the middle. If they're going to resolve it, they have to do that, themselves.