daughter

If it's a problem that your daughter wants to pop in to see her brother at the same time as you are visiting, why did you tell her you were going!

Ditto BrandyButter

And sort out your relationship with them all if you can. I can understand trying to get on and not upset any of them but you need to remember you are the Mum and that tiptoeing round people does not help. Just cheerfully keep things out in the open.

nana15 can you tell your Son that you happened to mention to his Sister that you were going to visit him and she said that she would see you there. Is that going to be ok or not?
If it's not ok with your Son, I would cancel the visit for this time and next time you arrange visiting your Son, don't mention to your daughter.

Gosh it's a bit much when you can't telk your children you are visiting one of them But I too have the problem. When my daughter comes I can't tell my son. Very awkward for parents. Children need to get a grip!

Like others wish I had a brother or sister who popped in

My children always aim to visit my mother together, they find it less of a strain I think !

I also can't understand what the problem is...unless there is anything else we are not privvy to? A daughter meeting up with her mother at her brother's house seems perfectly normal to me! But then again...non of my family have to have 'invitations' to visit. So.. Nana with you saying you are thinking of cancelling to avoid conflict....are there conflicts?
If there are then just tell your daughter NO. Don't cancel yourself...

Sounds to me like your son would like a solo visit and your daughter is adding herself on? Does your son live in the middle of you and daughter?

I tbink going forward you don’t mention visits to your daughter until after the fact.

It doesn’t sound like they have a great relationship. She needs to arrange her visits to his house with him, not you!

Alls well ! Many thanks.
Arranged family get together. Loads of love and fun .

Must have been the medication I am on!

Good ?. Glad it worked out but I'm sure you had reason to be stressed.

So glad it all got sorted without issue!

It depends on family dynamics. My lot never receive an 'invite' from each other. they just turn up! If you're not in - they go again! Other families are more formaal - so it really depends on that.

Families eh? they can be such hard work. Just mention to your son that she may pop round and let them get on with it, and just keep smiling

Glad it worked out, nana15!

In the future, I would not tell DD you're going to her brother's if you're afraid she might decide to "pop over" and they might not like it.

Nor would I try to get her to visit her other brother or meet you at his house. Clearly, there is some tension between them. Please stay out of the middle. If they're going to resolve it, they have to do that, themselves.