Message withdrawn at poster's request.
What were the first ever records that you bought and when?
Angela Rayner lashes out and calls Sunak “pint sized loser”.
Gransnet forums
AIBU
Husband does not understand my upset.
(34 Posts)Hello to everyone.
I am brand new to the forum so please be gentle.
I am a Polish Lady....so from time to time my command of your language may fail me, but I hope you will cut me a little slack.
Anyway, this is what happened in my home this morning.
I would be very grateful for any input, from all you kind women of great wisdom!!!!
My husband and I have our own bedrooms due to multiple issues which cannot sadly be resolved.
We both accept this as normal these days....but it does mean that we do not have any contact with each other from 10pm when my Husband goes to bed, until 6.15am when he arises.
I am very much a Night Owl, and prefer to nap during the day and carry out my domestic duties and leisure activities in the evening and early morning.
I am therefore, always to be found lying on top of my bed reading, when my Husband gets up to prepare for work.
He always comes through to kiss me goodbye.
However......this morning very early at 6am I developed a feeling which can only be described as a frightening case of panic and fear. I have no idea why, but the feelings of claustrophobia and need to escape for a walk, enveloped me. The weather outside was atrocious with wind and heavy rain, but I was powerless to resist the urge to leave my home.
Although I do suffer from limited mobility due to Arthritis in both feet and knees, I was relieved to be out in the great wide open!!!!!!
Anyway, I thought I would be back at base before my Husband left for work at 6.45am.
I must have missed him by 1 minute!!!!!!
That is the back story for you all.
Now this is where I need your views, if you would be so kind.
The man I have been married to for forty seven years did not have any reaction to my absence from our home!!!!
This is the one and only occasion that I have vacated under these circumstances, so completely out of character.
He enjoyed his breakfast as usual and took off for work without a backward glance.
No phone call either from his office to enquire if I was safe.
When he returned at 5.15pm he made no mention of my disappearance in the early hours, and when I broached it with him, he insisted that he knew I must have just gone out for a walk and would return safely!!!!!
How on earth could he have known this?
I may have slipped out at 10.30pm after he had gone to bed, and not been missed until 5.15pm.
He refuses to accept that perhaps he should have delayed his departure for work, until I arrived home safely.
He also does not feel he should have phoned to establish the facts either.
He has hardly spoken to me this evening and has retired to bed.
I am upset, as I think that he did not care enough about me to wonder where on earth I had disappeared to, on a particularly miserable morning.
I know that if the roles were reversed, then I would have been very concerned for him!!!!!
Please answer if you can, and let me know what you think, and of course if you think I am being unreasonable.
Thank you so much for your time.
Agnieszka x
I
Thoughtful post Bordersgirl .
I just want to say thank you, to each and every one of you who replied to my post.
In particular a heartfelt hug to Ginny 42, who took the time to send a beautiful PM.....I wish you were my friend!!!!!
Anyway, just to clear up a few points.
I was not testing him out, as suggested....I am too long in the tooth for that, at 75 years old. I was in a strange place with the sudden panic etc. and did not stop to think in a rational way. My heart rate seemed quite erratic, and all I could think of was to get out and feel free.
I did not expect to remain outside for as long as I did, and fully expected to be back home before my husband rose from bed.
I had no wish to unsettle him, also.
Many thanks of course, for the few remarks about my English!!!!!
I really appreciate that. I have lived in Scotland for twenty five years now...but have retained my forceful Polish accent. Some people like it and some not so much!!!!
I have a feeling that we will be OK. He has been a little sheepish tonight and not much appetite......but when asked if he still loves me there was no hesitation......we just need to work on our communication which has probably become a bit sloppy.
I am so glad to have found this 'Sounding Board'....it is easier here, than to bother friends and family who may worry unduly.
God bless and keep you all safe.
Agnieszka x.
Had you had a disagreement the previous evening and this affected your husband's opinion as to why you had left the house?
Hello Eloethan
No, we did not have any disagreements at all.
I probably would have understood his non-reaction if we had, and not written here for further perspectives.
Thank you though, for your input.
Agnieszka x
A lovely post agnieszka and glad you ve had a little chat with your husband I think you ve both got a bit set in your ways and perhaps need a little surprise in your relationship !
Glad you’ve realised you still love each other
Panic attacks are the pits, instead of disappearing if you ever have another one, maybe walk into the garden if you need air (safer) or breathe into a paper (must be paper) bag if you are hyperventilating and do share your upsets and fears with your guy that’s why you’re married all this long time
I m glad you came back with the update
Agnieszka. Glad you have communicated with your husband and are feeling better. If the panic attacks continue, don’t be afraid to discuss it with your g.p. Welcome to Gransnet! ?
Agnieszk - Without reading your last post I thought that you were unhappy with your marriage and were trying to make a point with you husband. I felt you disappeared early, wondering if he would notice and then when he didn't, you got upset?
T.B.H Agniesk....most people would identify with you. I sleep in the same bed as my husband...but I don't think he would notice if I wasn't there when he woke up!
I think your 'cry' is more that you want him to sit up and notice!
Glad you are communicating and feeling better. Much love x
Join the conversation
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join the discussion, watch threads and lots more.
Register now »Already registered? Log in with:
Gransnet »