My husband goes on these one day visits about three times a year, but we do go together sometimes and stay for two or three days, when we can see other friends and relatives too. The last time we did that was March, when we went up to his brother and wife’s Ruby Wedding celebration. We have started to stay in a nearby Premier Inn as his mother is no longer able to cope with visitors staying in the house, hardly surprisingly as she is 92. He phones his parents regularly and spends about half an hour on the phone with them, this happens at least twice a week or more. He has three brothers who live near his parents and so he is lucky in that he knows that if they need help, his brothers are there. However, he helps enormously with my own mother, who now lives near to us and requires a lot of support. He organisers her utilities for her, sorts out all the official stuff for her, takes her to her many medical appointments if I can’t, is currently selling her car for her (thank goodness, she wasn’t fit to drive but insisted, but the police picked her up and it turned out her eyesight is too poor to drive, so she lost her license, which is a relief frankly) and so on. He would do the same for his parents if a) they would let him ie utilities, and b) if he was nearer.
The problem as I see it is nothing to do with how often or not he sees his elderly parents, but I feel it’s not safe to drive there and back in a day, and I worry about him, and I worry about other people. His parents clearly do not see any problem in him doing this.
Thank you for all your responses, I have told him about what has been said, and left him to think about it. I have also said yet again that I think we should go together and spend a couple of nights up there, he immediately said no, one night! I’m going to carry on with my suggestion of two nights. He also complained that I wouldn’t want to set off at 5.30 in the morning, and wouldn’t want to spend all that time with his parents (I absolutely would want to see my dear friend) so he thinks of reasons why I shouldn’t go, which leads me to think that actually he prefers to go alone, and doesn’t want me with him.