Is being over eighty the same as being past it? Discuss.

My mother is currently 99 does all her own cooking, reads a great deal, watches tv programmes especially Housewives of..... loves to go for afternoon tea with a cocktail. Makes sure she has her make up on and only stopped attending the gym although a greatly reduced style of excercise class. Along with this she looks after my dad who is also 99. I am so proud of her. She had her breast off five years ago and been given the all clear. Age is just a number. Her attitude is to get on with it and not worry

But I don't feel that I have achieved anything by reaching 80, or deserve congratulations. I have never exactly "looked after myself". I have done things I wanted to do, and avoided things I didn't want to do - never been a member of a gym, for instance, or followed a diet or chosen organic food or vegetarianism or veganism. I don't have a beauty routine, except for sloshing on moisturiser when I remember. I don't much like the sensation of being drunk or the taste of tobacco, so I was never tempted into those excesses. Too much heat has always made me feel weak and ill so I'd rather look at blazing sunshine from a seat in the shade than lie on a beach basting in sweat.

Elegran, you sound like me. I don't 'look after' myself according to perceived wisdom. I eat healthy meals, and some unhealthy stuff. I don't go to the gym, tried it once, hated it. I look after our grandchildren with my husband, we look after my 91 year old mother who lives in a sheltered apartment nearby. I read, go to films and concerts, travel, occasionally go walking, meet up with friends, just enjoy life really. I think that's the key, just enjoy life.

Enjoy yourself without going to extremes in either direction - eat well, but don't repeatedly stuff yourself as though there will be a famine tomorrow, Have a drink if you want one, but not automatically all the time, or because the drink wants you , keep active, but don't get obsessive about "exercise" as an end in itself.

I'm 84 . Up to now I've been independent but stupidly fell and broke left hip in May and right one in July ! I'm recovering but on visit to Hosp daughter was incensed that people kept asking me if I had carers. I have an allotment, on which I fell in May, drive and belong to s choir which she wanted me to tell them ! I didn't, but as she said they look at date of birth and make assumptions.

Your post is so heartening to me. For some reason I keep thinking about getting old and dying. I don't know why this has suddenly started (I'm 54) but reading this has made me give myself a kick up the bottom. You are an inspiration xx

No, you are not past it, whatever it is.

Having said that, how I agree with you about this ageist nonsense. The minute anyone realises how old we actually are they start talking as if we were imbeciles, don't they?

I find children under 12 refreshing because they see we are old, but still class us as grown-ups, unlike their parents who tend to treat us like superannuated kindergarten kids.

Only passed it when you're 'pushing up daisies'.Go for it gal!

I will be 80 on Monday. I had a hip replaced two months ago, and noticed that people started treating me as a 'poor old soul' when I was using firstly a wheeled trolley, then crutches. I am now walking unaided again, and the attitudes have gone back to normal. I just need to build up my strength, and hope to be walking longer distances again before too long. It was a pleasure to get back behind the wheel, after relying on lifts.

I certainly don't feel 80, and hope to remain fit and healthy for some years to come - eventually, I hope, meeting a quick and fairly pain-free end before needing to be cared for, or losing my marbles.

Growing older is inevitable, and we all do it at our own pace. A cheerful and positive attitude keeps me young, I think, and I am lucky to have been born with that nature. My sister has been 'old' since she was a teenager. Sadly, she has always been a self-centred misery-guts, despite (or maybe because) she was the spoiled post-war baby of the family. Though she is six years younger than me, I wouldn't swap lives with her.

Glad to learn of other grans in their 80's like me as many correspondents seem a lot younger. Arthritis is slowing me down considerably since I was 81 and having to give up driving (both ankles knackered ) reduces my quality of life a great deal. This is my chief sorrow, as even if a bus is available to town, I can't get much farther on my feet even with two trek poles. Taxis are very expensive so going out at night is a rare treat. I never thought I would reach this stage. Nobody does. Good public transport would make such a difference

Elegran I have always liked reading your posts; there is nothing wrong with your thought processes. Happy 80th Birthday. I do think age is just a number. You have been young at heart for a very long time and will continue to be so I think

A lady who goes to my keep-fit class has just had her 100th birthday and my friend’s Mum has just turned 107 and, until recently, was still beating everyone at Scrabble! Age is just a number, it’s one’s attitude to it that counts!

You're as old as you feel is what I say. Elegran
I just hope I'm like you when I reach 80.
I dread ageing I really do. It's the thought of the 'old' face.
Can't afford a facelift so I will have to put up with it or invest in a paper bag.

Alison I also had to give up driving recently and agree it's a big loss. I had a knee problem which led to a near-fatal car incident.
I was so relieved that I'd avoided a complete wreck that I decided that was it as far as driving is concerned.
We have a very good public transport system here, and it also means I get to chat with other passengers.

^ the thought of the 'old' face^

!!!!! Ridiculous.

Some of the "new" faces that people get with facelifts are far far worse than what they replaced. In any case, it is what is behind the face that matters.

Older faces can be lovely. Agree with Elegran. And I think "what's behind them" influences the way someone looks. You can often see character in someone's face.

As long as you can quickly react with a smile people will smile back.

There can be beauty in the face of a person of any age. I think an open attitude and genuine interest in other folk and the wider world around us often shows in our faces and that’s attractive, even if we’re not especially beautiful in the conventional sense. Well that’s what I'm hoping anyway!

I don’t think being 80 is in any way “past it”
Elegran . I don’t think any particular age is . Surely we are all as “past it” as we feel (depending on the activity of course) . My mum was old way before her time bless her as she suffered ill health for many years which hugely restricted what she was able to do. My grandma on the other hand was very fit and active ( mentally and physically) and game for almost anything way into her 80’s and 90’s.

No! You aren’t past it! Enjoy yourself and let people do some of the lifting and shifting for you if they want to, it’s one of the things I’m looking forward to when I’m 80

I was 85 in June and celebrated with a trip to Scotland for two weeks with my sons, one of whom is now 65 and did all the driving.We covered 2.5K miles and really enjoyed it. Like others my children and grandchildren think I am invincible as I make all my financial decisions, belong to Growing Old Disgracefully, travel to St.Lucia twice a year and am an internet addict. I spend lots of time on the internet saving the lives of Shelter dogs in Ohio, which is very rewarding. I love my freedom pass in London where I am on and off trains and buses all the time.
The downside is living alone and missing my husband who died ten years ago. We had a very long and happy marriage although friends and family never understood how much we loved to argue about all sorts of things. It was just who we were. I have chronic heart disease. Lost a kidney and had cancer twice but I am one tough old girl whose daughter is always asking if I am drinking enough water and if I have been on a walk. She means well so I try not to tell her off. The Australian son who is with me for three months commented about my habit of listening to the radio all day and I guess that living alone I have nobody to talk to and just love radio. I think 85 is the new 65 as medicine marches on and we can live longer lives. I am off to Amazon to order my liquid blonde shampoo!

i would smile sweetly and say thankyou to all those who help you. you lucky to have reached that age. enjoy life while you can.

Annie1. What a lovely post ?

ninathenana and annsixty, Liquid Blonde shampoo and conditioner are currently half price at Superdrug, just bought both, £3.32 each.
I had never heard of it so thanks for the tip Ninathenana, hope it works!