To think granddaughter is too old for a dummy

I think dummies are harmless enough if only used at home, mainly at bedtime. Sucking thumbs can change tooth growth though, so is more of a problem. I'd say just leave it to the parents or child to decide when to stop.

No child needs a dummy after two years old. They may cry for it for a couple of days then it’s over forever. You can never take a thumb away from a thumb sucker.

GrandmaJan

I’m not disagreeing, because I would never at the time considered letting any of my children have a dummy, but one had a security blanket she was totally attached to, another one sucked her thumb, which was a very hard habit break, at least you can throw the dummy away

I can imagine every Health Visitor, School Nurse and Speech Therapist cringing at the thought of a 5 year old with a dummy. Not only can it affect speech but development of the teeth particularly the 2nd teeth because it affects the position of the gums. I was a HV and have never agreed with babies/children having a dummy but in over 30 years I’ve never seen a 5 year old with one.

Youngest DD had a dummy. At 2 we told her she could only have it while she was asleep in her cot which she was ok with. We then told her some weeks before her 3rd birthday it was going altogether. It was like withdrawal from crack cocaine (I imagine!) but we didn’t cave in though it came very close.

One of my daughters had a blanket that she took to bed with her always, it was never allowed to be taken out of the house, but she always took it on overnight stays

Many years later she was on a business trip in Germany, and left it in her hotel room, she was devastated

Never, ever used a dummy.

No way is it abuse, the story about the man who kept a Bit of his comfort blanket was moving, I knew someone who as a child was attached to a certain cuddly toy which was taken from him to mend or wash but he never got it back and it was destroyed because it was deemed that he was too fond of it. He said that he was distraught and blamed himself, and yes did grow up, for a job, got married, had a family, told someone the story one day who managed to track down the same sort of toy and gave it to him, and he was so happy.
Children are people and their feelings should be taken into account. Considering that a high proportion of children nowadays suffer from mental health problems we ought to acknowledge their needs and feelings as and how important they are to them rather dismiss them

None of mine had dummies, but my younger grandchildren have had them, and honestly, I think if I had my time again, I’d be tempted

My daughter gave them all warning, that on a certain day they were all going, and never had any trouble

The youngest one can take it or leave it, but it’s useful for getting her to sleep

But five, I think is too old

True, Callistemon....children these days are treated with kid gloves and it's not in their interests. They are growing up thinking they can do exactly as they please. This little girl should be told that there is a rule that all children must have given up dummies before they start school. She won't want to be different from all the other children.

I think many of today's parents are frightened of any confrontation.
It doesn't need to be like that, they need to use some subtle psychology and persuade their children that that is what they want to do themselves.

Otherwise just learn to say NO. Who is the parent round here?

It seems to me mum has the problem worrying about how the child will react to giving it up. She just needs to man (lady) up and do it. 5 is far to old for a dummy.

I think they should give up a dummy or other comforter when they want to, not before. If they are old enough you can discuss it with them. My younger son had a dummy for a while (never in public), then had one of those lidded cups with a little spout to suck. He had that until he was seven, at home only. None of us worried about it or tried to make him give it up. He has perfect teeth.

As a child I used to suck the end of my plaits. My parents would never have allowed a dummy, so I don’t know what I did before my hair was long enough to suck!

My nephew and his wife just told their 2 year old he was too old for a dummy, put it in the bin and that was it - no fuss!

Well....You don't see many adults sucking a dummy but I have seen several sucking their thumbs....or a fag.....

My granddaughter's twin boys were offered dummies because she thinks (as a nursery practitioner) that it is easier to get rid of a dummy than their thumbs or fingers (lol). But neither of them took to the dummies; one of the boys occasionally uses his thumb or finger (or yours if your hand goes close enough!) but the other one shoves as many fingers in as he can, to the point of making himself gag! So I'm with her regarding dummies; much easier to get rid of, bu 5 much too old to be still using one especially during the day.

Too old in my opinion but DS kept his under his pillow, like a security blanket, till he was 4

I isn't like dummies at all, my children didn't have them nor did my grandchildren. But I know some people find them very helpful to comfort their children. I can see the problem if she has always used one as a comforter taking it away I'd hard. Could you perhaps replace it with a soft toy that she can chose.? Tell her she can swap it for something she would like.

DD had a dummy till she was three. Then we managed to convince her that she was big enough to throw it away. Her speech and her teeth were fine. DS refused to have a dummy or even to have milk from a bottle. Nothing rubber in his mouth at all. He sucked his thumb for years and his front teeth were horribly distorted until he stopped and they eventually evened out.

Perhaps, like potty training, there is a 'window of opportunity' which, if missed, makes it all the more difficult.

I have a little grandson who was very ill for first few months of life and still has medical problems. He's had a dummy because otherwise his mum, who breastfed him till he was 1yr old wouldn't have been able to do anything. I'd never given my children dummies so the thought never occurred to me to suggest trying one for him, health visitor suggested it early on and it worked. So he was one of those tiny babies with a big dummy of whom you speak so despairing but it kept him happy when he would otherwise have been unhappy. He still uses it, he's nearly 15 months but we're not worried, he only gets it when needs it, will refuse it at times and it'll be much easier to stop him using it than it should if he sucked his thumb instead. His mum, 36, still sometimes ducks her thumb in her sleep when she's worried about things, I'd put money on my grandson not all sucking a dummy at that age!

Thank you, I see Pantglas's statement in context now and it makes sense.
Not at all as you tried to portray the meaning GoodMama

I see what you mean, Pantglas!
My elders and betters, DM and MIL, had very contradictory views on child-rearing, I listened to both respectfully and politely then probably did my own thing, although DM had far more experience of babies and children (not all her own).

I was advised to give my son a dummy,he was very prem and had no sucking reflex.For the first 3 months he was either tube fed or a huge hole cut in a teat and the milk allowed to run into his mouth .That was fine while he was in hospital but sitting crying over a baby who couldn't suck once I'd got him home did nether he nor I any good at all.He had a dummy in SCBU and I continued to give him it in the hope it would eventually help.Even when he could suck they told me to give it to him especially at night ,so I did.He was certainly 4 by the time we decided it had to go but it took a long time to take them away as the wee begger had hidden dummies all over the house .He was near 5 by the time he was dummy free.His daughter now 10 was the same ,she loved her dummy and it was the christmas that she was 4 that Santa took hers .no problem with that she was fine to let it go ..until we found that like her dad she had a stash of them hidden in the oddest places .The dolls house,the toy cash register .You name it there was a dummy thereI'd leave well alone and let him give up in his own time,I've never seen a child go to high school with one and some children have much stranger habits than a dummy....By the way my son and his daughter have perfect teeth ,not even a filling for either of them and he's 32 ..nearly

Callistemon,
Page 3, Pantglas1 around the 7:38 mark I believe

Vickya your post about comfort blankets reminds me of a piece about them on Woman's Hour at least thirty years ago.
A Young man phoned in to say he had a piece of his baby comfort blanket stitched inside the lining of his business suit!
He'd always had it and just couldn't get through the day without knowing it was close to him.