To think granddaughter is too old for a dummy

Dummies can get lost in the middle of the night and that can cause problems!

Who said elders and betters?

My middle child sucked her thumb for years and we couldn't throw that away!

My third child was a boy and quite fractious so we gave him a dummy at bedtime. We used to sneak in and take it out of his mouth once he was asleep
It was a nightmare trying to persuade him to give it up but as he neared the age of five and we were going on holiday with family and he'd be sharing a room with his cousin, I asked him if he minded her seeing his dummy. He didn't want that so the week before the holiday we got rid of it. He was a little tearful for the first couple of nights but was fine after that.
You just need some sort of incentive and then you have to get rid of the thing. No putting in a drawer "in case"

“elders and betters”

Nope, just older. Not smarter, not better.

GoldenAge - I assume that your post is tongue-in-cheek! Abuse and failure psychologically!!! Brilliant!

Nobody has mentioned comfort blankets. Think Linus from Peanuts. Both my daughters had a comfort cloth. #1 had a muslin nappy square. As a baby i'd put it over the top of her cot or pram so any little burps of milk could go on it and it could be changed. Later she adopted one. #2 daughter for some reason had a flannelette square, piece of sheet. Both were easy to put in the wash and I had replacements.

I am pretty sure they still used them for sleeping or comfort when tired at ages 4 and 6 (there were nearly two years between them, as I remember being careful to take an extra one on holiday.

Years later we rescued a puppy at 2 days old and had to bottle feed her every 2 hours, day and night. She grew up and we had her until she died at 9 years old. In those years she sometimes came on a bed at night and would take the duvet cover in both front paws and paddle it, as if pressing a mother dog for milk and she'd suck the sheet between her paws. She continued to do that until she died. So when fully grown up. It is a similar child comfort thing. Just like children with dummies or comforters.

Allowing a child to continue with a dummy aged 5 is actually abuse - apart from the teeth problem, the practice is setting the child up for failure psychologically - at five years old this child will be at school, expected to go to the toilet herself, and to be able to read - what in heaven’s name is she sucking on a teet for before she goes to bed? As a GP you have a duty to make your views known on this one

None of my three ever had dummies. They coped we coped. No of my three grandchildren have either. If they did I wouldn’t comment as it’s not really my business it’s down to the parents to decided when to take the plugs away as we call them lol I think 5 years old is far too old. What about the teeth at this age. I would stay out of it though, it’s down to their parents not us

DD had a dummy until the summer before her sixth birthday.

Always kept under her pillow for bedtime, that rule might have been broken occasionally, it did no one any harm.

Five years is such a short time to be on this earth with so much of what is right and wrong to learn.if her dummy comforts her at bedtime then so be it.

There’s no chance she’ll take it to Uni. Promise.

Clever me didn’t want my children to have dummies so they had their thumbs instead. While friends children accepted that Father Christmas had taken the dummies away at around 3/4 years old, my two still had a thumb attached until their teens! If I heard my husband say ‘take that thumb out’ many more times I think I’d have had to leave. She’ll get rid of it soon enough but I wouldn’t let her have it in the daytime as other children may be spiteful.

Dummies are wonderful things for babies at sleep time, but I really don’t like to see them walking around with them. Even worse trying to talk with them still in their mouths. My own children all had them, and some of my grandchildren had some hadn’t. Only problem is one that sucks her thumb and parents having major problems trying to stop this habit

Whitewavemark2
Agreed! ?

I have 3 children
My middle son had his dummy until he was about 4, only at bedtime though. My other children didn’t want one. All breastfed on demand. Middle son wanted to feed constantly so the dummy helped me have a break in between feeds.
When it was time for it to go I think we just gently replaced it with a sucky toy first and then he eventually just grew out of it. Absolutely nothing wrong with having something to soothe on before bed.
My son is 22 now, he’s on the ASD spectrum, he’s had some kind of ‘soother’ all his life. Don’t be too harsh all you nay sayers

She won’t have a dummy at 20 - my advise is to chill out and mind your own business.

A child of five does not need a dummy - clearly this one does!

Comfort is a universal human need at any age, and is not a "habit" (with all the negative connotations of that word).

One of my DC had one, two of my DGC had one but both had discarded them by the age of two without too much trauma, a few tears one night (five minutes then peering out of the window to see if the fairies had come to collect it!). A child of five does not need a dummy - if they still need the comfort then it has just become a long-term habit.

Well exactly oodles - my point entirely. Why put this wee lass through an unnecessary trauma and upset just because her GM thinks she "should" not have a dummy?

She will grow out of it and it is unlikely to do her any harm at all. What might do her harm is to have her comfort and security taken away - especially for no good reason.

Dummies have had a bad press in their time, but things really are different now. And I suspect that there is a class element operating here - as there is with most things in the UK - and that it is seen as chavvy to have a dummy.

GC of mine have had dummies and there is no sign that their speech has been delayed at all.

There was something on the One Show last night about a speech therapist setting up a help web page to support parents through the 'no more dummy' period. She listed the problems long term use can cause. Well worth watching.

It is too old / she’ll get mid-sharpen teeth and will get teased at school if word gets out. But... not your child, not your choice.

Neither of mine had dummies, so no personal agenda here
It's something that gives the child comfort, and there seems to be opinions in here that it's bad for a child to need comfort. That it's good to get rid of comfort objects. Why is that I wonder, eventually they will be dropped, and some people keep them, what's the problem with that. There is nothing virtuous about not needing comfort, the child might go on to suck her thumb, or just be less secure. If the mother wants to help the child wean from it then best to do it gradually at the child's own pace, if the child will be distresses, does it help to think about her reaction as distressed rather than a tantrum, then mum is right to consider her child's feelings and work with her how to do it with no distress. Not all outbursts are tantrums
Many of us gain comfort from things such as having a cuppa when we've had a hard day, some if you might have a wine. How would we like it if someone said no more cups of tea, you get comfort from them and you are old enough to just have a drink if water when you're thirsty. Or no more Horlicks or ovaltine at bedtime, it's just a habit and you don't need it any more.

It's better than sucking a thumb. My parents didn't like dummies and I found my thumb. Which was cute when I was a baby but downright embarrassing for both me and my parents when I got to 8 and still couldn't stop it automatically going into my mouth. At least with a dummy you can "lose" it when it finally becomes too much

I think 5 seems much too old to be having a dummy but then I am not the child’s mum. What I do find more concerning is that the mum does not want to risk a tantrum by suggesting that the child stops using her dummy even though she must know that it could be causing harm. It sounds as if the mum is frightened of her daughter and doesn’t want to upset her. I think that is sad, the mum needs to start acting the parent and being in control. The child might then feel more secure and not need the dummy.

Perhaps your daughter could try not letting her having it during the day but let her have it at night . Praise her and reward her for being such a good girl for not having a dummy . When she gets used to this progress to the night time . Good luck there will be years and tantrums but keep with it .

Both my daughters had soothers to help them sleep. I kept them for sleep/ cot only. They become dummies when used to stop children crying..i.e seeking attention. I think at 5 the child is old enough to talk this through. She needs weaning from dummy to become a sleep soother then to drop the soother altogether. My elder DD gave up her soother voluntarily by a year old but her 2.5 yr old sister was encouraged to leave it for our neighbours new baby , due while we were away on holiday. DD2 promptly took to sucking her thumb! Fortunately no dental damage as it lasted until she was 10! It will ne a tough couple of days but go away for a day or 2 & forget the dummy!

Kids a different indeed but 5! No outs time to wean her away from that . My daughter had to weaned from hers at two and a half...she was a very bad sleeper til then.... and I let it go on to save my sanity as I was also working part-time. She reluctantly let it go but you have to stay firm. My son had a dummy also...and at 14 months o just said “ shall we put that in the bin now you’re a big boy” ...he surprisingly opened the bin and threw the dummy in and never bothered again! He’s never failed to amaze me ever since!