To think granddaughter is too old for a dummy

My GD who is 3 still has a dummy - - think it's okay at night but not during the day which she seems to get away with having - but it's not my child so I don't get involved although I do feel it's affected her speech and teeth.

Peer pressure will stop her dummy use soon I should imagine. She will realise that it's a babyish habit.

My son sucked his thumb until he was 3. Someone said he would have teeth like Bugs Bunny and he just stopped. He had no idea who Bugs Bunny was of course as living in Jamaica, we didn't have that cartoon on the TV.

Things have changed so much since those days, we seemed to have more respect for our ‘elders and betters’ as they were deemed!

Like yours Grammaretto, my own MIL would not so much offer advice as dictate! I’d just listen and smile, then carry on doing things my way!

I chose to go the other way with my own daughter and never offered advice unless it was asked for and even then I’d phrase it as a suggestion that had worked for me.

So true Grammaretto

It amuses me, I can't help saying, when we are told on here not to give our opinions for fear of upsetting our grown DC.
It's not our place, It's their child etc.
My Mil who's in her 90s now has never held back from giving her opinion and she is occasionally
respected for it.

When are we allowed to become wise old ones?

You can do what you like when it’s your child and nothing at all when it isn’t.

Isn't that a bit like saying "boys don't cry"?
She will stop using it herself very soon. My advice is to say nothing. Children all mature at different rates.

Say to her that big girls who go to school don't use dummies?

Tonks,

This is a tricky one, my feelings are a bit conflicting.

Firstly, it's absolutely not your place to say anything to your daughter. It's her daughter and i'd be fearful of upsetting her with any unsolicited opinion.

Secondly, I don't think you're wrong in the opinion you hold. My daughter's pediatrician and dentist both advised it's best to get rid of the dummy before the babe turns 2. It interferes with mouth and tooth development. Waiting later just makes it hard to get rid of.

The child won't likely give it up easier on her own, especially if she uses it for sleep.

When my daughter was 20 months old I gathered them all up and threw them away. She was also only using them to fall asleep at nap and bedtime. We went through 3/4 days of rough falling asleep, then she was over it.

So, in my opinion, 5 is too old but it's not your place to say something. Just be on the lookout for your daughter to ask your advice. But don't make the decision for her when you watch the child.

Development.

Constant use of a dummy hinders speech.

Nicely worded there summerlove.

It’s fine for you to think that

But it’s not your call. You’ve made your case. Now let it go

BTW there's a brilliant book about a little monster giving up his dummy - Granny Monster in particular is putting pressure on Mummy Monster to make him ditch it.
It's called The Last NooNoo - funny and highly recommended!
Might be out of print now but I found a 2nd hand copy on Amazon. Despite neither of them ever having a dummy, Gdcs love it!

Personally I think it is too old. My daughter's childhood friend had one until she was 8!!! For the record though her adult teeth have all came in perfectly straight.

Wouldn't be one of mine though. I'd rather have a few tantrums and get them off it As it is your grandchild however, have your opinion but prob best leaving it to parents to decide what happens with it.

Mishapen teeth has nothing to do with either thumb sucking or using dummies. That is an old wives tale. Misshapen are teeth are caused by overcrowding of teeth in the mouth.

DS didn't suck his thumb and needed extensive orthodontic treatment including the removal of two teeth to make room for the others to be set straight.

DD turned her hand over and sucked two fingers in a way that could have been expected to lever top teeth out and push bottom teeth in ( and still does it in her sleep at times). her teeth are neat and straight and have never needed any orthodontic

There are plenty of scare stories if you look for them but I just want to add that DS2 was born with his thumb in his mouth and a blister on it! He sucked until he was far too grown up and then transferred to cigarettes. I think some people are more oral than others.

He has given up now , though it was a struggle. maybe we should have given him a dummy

How funny there’s just be an item on TV about how to get rid of dummies in five days a speech therapist has started a group help thingy she said after a year old it can alter speech teeth swallowing and inner ear

I am not against dummies Luckygirl - one of my DC (the one who had dreadful colic) had a dummy but she threw it away of her own accord when she was under 2 - cried a little bit the first night but was quite happy that the fairies may have found it and taken it for their babies.

Her teeth are absolutely perfect so it's not teeth I would be worried about - it's long-term addiction to a dummy.

My daughter sucked her fingers, but she made a huge effort to give up before she went to "big school" (infants) so its not always the case that thumbs or fingers are worse.

Personally I would not interfere or say anything. She'll give it up soon enough by herself.

One of my dd's didn't entirely give up the dummy until she was 6 - but for quite a while it had been strictly at home and in private - her own choice.

I was very anti dummies until she had one very early on because of classic 3 months colic - it was the only thing that seemed to give her any relief.
Her teeth were always perfect.

Other dd sucked her thumb from birth until after she was old enough to drive, and her teeth were affected.
I'd prefer a dummy to a thumb any day.

She's not walking around with a dummy in her mouth - she is just using it at night! And why not!? She will drop it off when she is ready if no-one makes an issue of it.

I think we try and make children grow up too quickly - there is a reason why children like sucking thumbs/dummies. Some adults replace it with cigarettes or vapes.

I would leave the wee lass to it; and certainly not impose my views as a grandparent - it is not my place to do so.

Surely once she starts school she will see that other children don't have one during the day and will want to give it up so as to avoid being teased. It could even be suggested to her that giving it up during the day before starting school is a good idea. Giving it up at night will follow in its own good time.

At the risk of offending anyone ( sorry), I hate dummies. I especially dislike children who are able to walk and talk using them, the sight of a small child taking a dummy out to speak and then putting it back irritates me, they often lead to dental problems and lisps. My two never had one, were never offered one, what they never had they never missed. If this child is five, are you saying that she goes to school with a dummy?

All children are different. My two boys never had a dummy. They both found a finger to suck for comfort. I think that is best as they never lose it! It will never drop on the floor either. You are never faced with removing it then either. Far easier. As this little girl is now 5 I do feel it needs to be faded out of use. Keep it hidden in the day but let her have it at night. I'm sure this way she will let it go herself.