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Disappointed son

(32 Posts)
ninathenana Sun 18-Aug-19 09:20:17

Yesterday was our local carnival parade. The group for adults with special needs that DS attends gave out letters 2 wks ago saying they were entering with their decorated mini bus and if your coming please wear carnival outfits and lots of glitter (think Rio) letter gave a time and meeting place, where two members of staff will be.. Son dresses in his specially bought outfit and goes of excitedly to meet the others. He waited half an hour, nobody there. He walked to the starting place for the parade, no mini bus and no staff or anyone. Did they cancel and nobody told son ??
He rang home quiet agitated, as his autism can give him high anxiety levels.
DD and family were here and were going to watch parade so arranged to meet in town.
The mini bus was not in the parade and nor was anyone DS knew.
AIBU to think this is a very bad way for a branch of a national charity to treat vulnerable people ?

Septimia Sun 18-Aug-19 09:31:46

It's not the right way to treat anyone, let alone vulnerable people. Your son must have been really disappointed and confused.

If they had to cancel, then they should have made sure that they let everyone know.

I think you should enquire about what happened and firmly but politely point out the effect of this on your son.

ninathenana Sun 18-Aug-19 09:51:00

Septimia have every intention of doing so. When they open Tuesday.

kittylester Sun 18-Aug-19 09:56:00

nina, I'm so sorry to read this. What an awful way to treat anyone, as septimia says, not just a vulnerable person such as your son. Presumably, the charity is commission by someone like the local council to provide this service so that might be an Avenue to explore too.

I hope your son is ok now and that you have recovered some of your equilibrium! brew

sodapop Sun 18-Aug-19 09:59:58

That is terrible ninathenana the organisers should be ashamed of themselves. I hope they apologise to your son and make sure they have an event where he can wear his costume.

eazybee Sun 18-Aug-19 10:17:49

The fact that the 'mini bus was not in the parade and nor was anyone DS knew suggests that the outing was cancelled; it seems odd that he was the only one who did not know. I think you should wait until Tuesday and ascertain the facts before posting about it in social media.

ninathenana Sun 18-Aug-19 10:41:10

easybee I did say, it would seem it was cancelled but I do think they should have ensured everyone knew. He was there Thursday, why wasn't he informed then, or if last minute they have his and my mobile numbers.
I have not named any individual or organisation (who incidentally do some wonderful work) so I have no regrets posting here. I was just asking if people thought I WBU to be annoyed .

glammanana Sun 18-Aug-19 10:47:53

nina Do you or your DS not have the phone no. of anyone who was at the meeting on Tuesday to find out if they know what has happened.?
It seems very strange that only your DS was not notified if the event was cancelled,could it have been cancelled due to inclement weather.

ninathenana Sun 18-Aug-19 10:56:03

glamma it was a sunny day here smile the carnival went ahead and there were crowds watching.
The last meeting he attended was Thursday and he says nothing was mentioned then.
Yes, I have phone numbers and e-mails but only for staff. DS does not have any of the group members numbers.
They open Tuesday and I will call then.

fizzers Sun 18-Aug-19 11:07:24

It seems as though your DS was somehow overlooked and it appears that everyone else had notification except him. I'd be asking what happened.

TrendyNannie6 Sun 18-Aug-19 11:42:06

This is really sad to hear poor lad. I agree you need to call them and find out all the facts if they had to cancel everyone should have been informed

jaylucy Sun 18-Aug-19 11:47:57

I feel for the poor lad. Surprised that his parents were not given a mobile number to contact in any case. Also surprised they only organised it 2 weeks ago!
Maybe on the Thursday they were told that either because the weather forecast was bad, that they would not take part or if it was wet, they wouldn't take part ?
Hope it will be sorted out on Tuesday but in the meantime maybe you could take GS out for a special day to try and make up?

Hazeld Sun 18-Aug-19 12:17:14

Nothing to do with disability charity but Age UK. My mother who lived in a rented bungalow was in need of some help and I contacted Age UK to see if they would help and the first question they asked was ' Does she own her own house?' And when I said no, they didn't want to know. So much for charities. I wouldn't give them the time of day any more.

Riggie Sun 18-Aug-19 12:35:50

I had something similar happen with a national childrens charity that organised an event for SN kids that I had BOOKED ds into. Arrived and the place was deserted. Went totally mad at them and they blamed everyone except themselves....
It was a charity that I had a regular donation set up with. Which I promptly stopped

Hetty58 Sun 18-Aug-19 12:46:33

I'd be hopping mad too but maybe it was just down to an administrative error. These things do happen, however well organised people are. The aim of giving them detailed feedback should be so that they can minimise the chances of it ever happening again.

Esmerelda Sun 18-Aug-19 13:32:18

That has made me feel very sad, ninathenana and Riggie ... nobody, least of all someone as vulnerable as your sons, should be made to feel abandoned in this way.

Meanwhile, I do hope you keep us advised of what happened when you speak with them on Tuesday so we can find out why this happened (and I hope they too don't blame "everyone except themselves").

NannyC1 Sun 18-Aug-19 13:59:45

Hazeld. That's because Ageuk can recoup what they give when the house is sold. My Mum got new Windows and her central heating fixed. They took the cost of it back when her house was sold.

BlueBelle Sun 18-Aug-19 14:03:59

Personally I think it’s unforgivable to not have had direct contact with everyone believed to be involved especially with special needs people, messages can get lost so EVERY.person expected to attend should be personally contacted I feel it could have been a bit like Chinese whispers ‘oh could you let so and so know as well, Mrs P’
It will be interesting to hear what excuse they come up on Tuesday I feel so sorry for your lad

ninathenana Sun 18-Aug-19 14:08:40

jaylucy it's my adult son not my GS

Lock Sun 18-Aug-19 15:06:12

As a volunteer for a tiny local charity, we organise our events for the year at the annual AGM. Everything we attend is sorted out months in advance. I find it very odd that your son was only informed of something a fortnight ago, especially as it involved effort and money on his part.
I also find it odd that there was no emergency contact number for the day. I would have thought that was standard protocol for any organisation.

I would want to know their protocols and procedures.

4allweknow Sun 18-Aug-19 15:24:20

YWNBU to be an annoyed. Terrible way to treat you and your son

GabriellaG54 Sun 18-Aug-19 18:35:59

I'm pretty sure no-one would think you're being unreasonable. Woud you really expect some of us to say ' Yes, you're unreasonable to expect to be informed' ?
What youthink is what matters, not what we think.
It goes for anyone, not just persons who have unseen disabilities.
Why, when you know he gets anxious, didn't you or another family member go with him to see he was met, as they were going to the parade anyway?
Have you rung the charity or any of the other people who were going to see if they have answers?
The parade organisers would have had a list of entrants and they'll have answers as to why the charity pulled out even if no-one else has.

GabriellaG54 Sun 18-Aug-19 18:36:53

woud would

BlueBelle Sun 18-Aug-19 18:52:24

Poster has already said there is no one at the charity to answer questions until Tuesday *gabriella
As her son is an adult perhaps he wanted to go on his own and as no one was expecting anything untoward there was no need to worry about accompanying him I m guessing

kittylester Sun 18-Aug-19 21:37:37

And, nina, maybe likes to encourage her son to be independent especially as it was an event organised by people he knows.