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Was I being inappropriate?

(55 Posts)
Gizmogranny Mon 19-Aug-19 23:53:22

Dear Gransnetters,
I have been sleeping au natural for many years. I’ve tried wearing nighties and pyjamas but I find them very uncomfortable so I just don’t bother with them anymore. However, if I go away I always take a nightie with me but once in bed, it has to come off otherwise I cannot sleep.
My 6 year old granddaughter came to stay with me for a week and as she’s not used to being away from home I slept in the same bed as her. DGD slept under the duvet, I slept on top of the duvet, making sure I was covered with a sheet and blanket. I made sure that I was up before she awoke and always wore a gown before I got dressed.
My DGD has seen me naked - couldn’t be helped as we shared a cubicle to get changed when I took her swimming.
I’ve just received a very curt message from my DD. DGD has told mummy that granny snores and sleeps naked. DD went on to say that it’s inappropriate and in future I must wear a nightie.
What do other GNs think? Was I being inappropriate?

crazyH Tue 20-Aug-19 00:00:15

I don't recognise the name ...have you posted before or are you just being inappropriate Gizmo?
It's not for me to judge your habits, but I certainly wouldn't let my grandchildren see me without my clothes.

MawB Tue 20-Aug-19 00:04:41

I would not have expected a 6 year old to share a bed with me in the first place and would not have slept au naturel either. blush
Just plain embarrassing for the little girl.

Eloethan Tue 20-Aug-19 00:06:48

I usually sleep naked but when our grandchildren stay over I wear a nightie in case they come into our bedroom in the morning - they are much less likely to come into our bed now they're older - 7 and nearly 9.

That's just my personal feelings though - I come from a rather inhibited family. I'm not sure it's such a dreadful thing for your grandchildren to see you naked but if your daughter thinks it's inappropriate then it's probably best to heed her instructions.

leyla Tue 20-Aug-19 00:08:27

I don’t see the problem with being seen as nature intended. I’ve always slept in the buff and often wander around the house in my nothings until I get dressed (not when we have visitors as I don’t want to put them off their breakfast lol). I actually think it’s prudish to cover up but I bet lots of GNetters will be horrified.

Sara65 Tue 20-Aug-19 06:22:19

I wouldn’t do it myself, but I can’t actually see anything wrong with it, maybe sleep separately from your granddaughter in future.

Grammaretto Tue 20-Aug-19 06:47:04

I am quite prudish and prefer to be clad . I think DD is more relaxed than me which I'm glad about.
I would wear nightie and dressing gown probably and only let the wee ones into my bed when I'd finished snoring.
We are all different though which is nice.

Bellasnana Tue 20-Aug-19 06:48:56

Can’t see a problem myself but if your DD objects it is best not to rock the boat and abide by her wishes.

My DGD has seen me naked many a time and is totally unfazed by it, although I always wear a nightie in bed just because I’m more comfortable with one on.

Maw, what’s wrong with sharing a bed? My DGD and I have always shared her bed or mine since she was a baby. There is nothing sinister in it! She loves the company of Nana and I love every chance I can get to be close to her, especially now that I only see her once a year.

M0nica Tue 20-Aug-19 06:51:45

I think the answer must lie in the family culture. In some families children are accustomed to seeing family members naked, wandering in and out of the bathroom when members are in the bath etc. In other families privacy is the order of the day.

When your DGC are staying, you should conform to the behaviour the children are accustomed to at home. If the child is not accustomed to seeing adults naked at home, then it is forbidden to you when they are visiting or you are staying in their house or with them at any time.

PamelaJ1 Tue 20-Aug-19 06:52:00

I can’t see why there would be an issue with sharing a bed with a young grand child but I would be more comfortable being clothed.
Surely a pair of short pyjama pants and a tee shirt isn’t out of the question?

Sara65 Tue 20-Aug-19 06:56:33

I never saw either of my parents or grandparents naked, the very idea would have made me squirm with embarrassment!

But I know families where it’s the absolute norm, and when you think about it, it’s probably a much healthier attitude.

kittylester Tue 20-Aug-19 07:01:43

Presumably, you also slept naked when your daughter was young so she shouldn't be surprised.

GagaJo Tue 20-Aug-19 07:10:34

I think you should do what your daughter wants, or you risk her not letting your granddaughter stay over at yours.

Hetty58 Tue 20-Aug-19 07:11:19

There's nothing wrong with sharing a bed. I sleep naked too but I wear knickers and a vest when the kids stay as I'm a bit embarrassed to be seen entirely naked these days.

If DD thinks it's inappropriate then I'd comply with her wishes but I'm sure your granddaughter couldn't care less. At 6 years old she knows everyone's naked under their clothes but won't attach any meaning or judgement to it. I just couldn't wear a nightie, though. They get all tangled up every time you turn over.

BradfordLass72 Tue 20-Aug-19 07:30:22

My grand-daughter once had a friend to stay-over at my house. I am an artist and have a library full of art books (or did at that time).

On one book, the illustration you see here, Michelangelo's, Vitruvian Man was the cover. It was a book my gd had seen many times.

Her little friend, however, threw the mother and father of all tantrums and rang her parents to come and get her. At the time, neither my grand-daughter nor I had any idea why she was having a hissy fit.

Later, quite amused, my dgd's mother phoned to say I was being accused of having pornographic books in my house and this little girl's parents felt I was completely depraved and unreliable to have around young children.
They had even wondered whether to report me to the police.

Which just goes to show that some people have very strange minds indeed when it comes to the human body.

What I, my grand-daughter and all our family took totally for granted as a beautiful work of art, others saw as pornographic.

TerriBull Tue 20-Aug-19 07:38:20

It's hard if you feel you are being judged unfairly, but I guess you have to be aware of how sleeping naked with a grandchild could be perceived by a parent, unfortunate I know because that's what you are most comfortable doing, I wouldn't be keen on sharing a bed with our grandchildren. They stay with us fairly regularly, we always have our dressing gowns to hand, when they wander in to our bedroom, which they do, not that we sleep naked, but fairly undressed.

My granddaughter is laughably private when we go swimming, she dives in one of the only curtained off cubicles so her flat chested 9 year old body is not seen by anyone and leaves me outside to get on with changing in full view grin

CocoPops Tue 20-Aug-19 07:52:04

When my grandchildren stay with me they choose where they sleep. One snuggles up with me and one sleeps in a different room but migrates into my bed in the early hours.
We all wear pyjamas. Oh and my dog always sleeps on my bed too. They've seen me naked in the bathroom and in the cubicle at the swimming pool and didn't bat an eyelid although my granddaughter, always curious, asked me if I could breast feed a baby if I had one!

Urmstongran Tue 20-Aug-19 08:03:51

Well said kittylester!

Is this a summer spoof?

TerriBull Tue 20-Aug-19 08:11:02

I'm thinking maybe, if the OP is anything like me, really hot these days (but not in a good way) possibly she didn't sleep naked when she was younger. I've never felt such a need to fling everything off, as I have done in the last few years.

BlueBelle Tue 20-Aug-19 08:15:08

My grandkids have their own beds but if they were upset or unwell they would come in with me or I with them I wouldn’t be naked in front of them simply because we have never done that as a familyI m not ashamed jets just not happened
If you used to sleep with your own daughter naked then she shouldn’t be worried or she should have reminded you not to however if it happened since she has grown up ( and my feeling is it has it else she wouldn’t have been shocked)/ and it’s not her way, then yes I think you were wrong

But I m wondering if this is a little naked story to get the grands agoing What do others think ?

harrigran Tue 20-Aug-19 08:32:17

I don't think sleeping naked actually is helpful in hot weather, it just means all the bedding gets sweaty instead of a thin nightdress. Sleeping on top of a duvet is warmer than lying on a mattress and increases the discomfort.
My GC have always remained in their own bedrooms, not in the habit of wandering in and out of others, so not a problem but I do wear pyjamas at all times.

aggie Tue 20-Aug-19 08:36:51

I prefer pjs , a nigtdress would end up strangling me . My GC wouldn't wait till they got home before informing me of my state of undress

Daisymae Tue 20-Aug-19 08:41:00

From her response it would seem that your DD is not used to seeing you in the buff, so why would you consider it to be appropriate for her DD?

GagaJo Tue 20-Aug-19 08:41:06

My daughter and grandson live with me. We're open with nudity and he's only 1, so...

He's taken to pointing at my nipple and asking what it is. He was most amused when I pointed at his bee stings and told him they were nipples too. Clearly thought I was gaga.

We'll cover up more when he's older. No teenage boy wants a flash of his granny's vag.

TwiceAsNice Tue 20-Aug-19 09:34:52

My grandchildren have seen me naked and also their mother and their aunt ( mums younger sister) Me and the daughters are also unfazed if we see each other naked.

If grandchildren sleep over at mine or aunts house I wear a nightie, she pyjamas . They wear sometimes pyjamas sometimes only pants . I wouldnt sleep naked , not because I think it’s bad, but because I don’t like sleeping with nothing on.

I think your daughters rules should be followed though