I have one son who I’m quite close to, although we don’t live in each other’s pockets. He’s now forty and has been with his partner of the same age for about 14 years.
They both have very high flying jobs but no children.
His partner has always been a bit odd to be honest. They had a lovely little rescue dog who sadly had to be put to sleep a couple of months ago and before the dog died, she frequently said, ‘when anything happens to ‘dog’s name’, I’m off.’ I asked my son what she meant by that, as it seemed quite a nasty thing to say and he just said, ‘oh ignore her, she’s always saying that,’
Anyway, this year, I’ve increasingly noticed she’s has been more and more unpleasant towards me - although not really when my son is there.
I lost one of my dogs, a lovely retriever, just before Christmas through a tragic accident. He choked to death on a tennis ball that wedged in his throat. We’ve had retrievers for many years and my lovely husband, knowing how traumatised and upset I was, bought me a beautiful retriever puppy for Christmas.
Son’s partner visited on Boxing Day and lectured me on how wrong we are to buy pedigree pups and not to have rescue dogs - despite the fact that we’ve also had a number of rescues over the years.
She got a really important appointment in her job and when I congratulated her, she said ‘oh I’ve had enough arse licking lately.’
If I phone her, which is very rarely and only if there is a reason, she doesn’t answer my calls. If I text her, she doesn’t reply.
After their little dog died, I was very upset for them because I know how much they loved her and how heartbroken they are. As they’re both forty this year, I paid to have an oil painting of their dog done for their joint birthday, which they both said they were pleased with.
Then, and I admit stupidly, I posted some words about losing a dog on her Facebook page. It was a little poem that a friend sent to me which I just thought might comfort her a bit. Then my son phoned me to tell me that I’d really upset her and I shouldn’t have put it on her Facebook page, I apologised profusely. I tried to ring her but no answer so I texted her to say I was really sorry and never meant to hurt or upset her. She never replied.
Now I’ve noticed she’s blocked me on Facebook which, of course, is entirely up to her but why couldn’t she speak to me? If she said she’d be happier not having me on her friends list, I’d have been hurt but I’d have taken it on the chin.
To make matters worse, we’ve organised a family dinner for both of them with my husband, stepsons and their families in a month’s time and now I’m left wondering if she’s even going to come. The dinner was her idea by the way.
Over the years, we’ve occasionally arranged to meet them for a meal and then my son has arrived on his own saying she’s too busy to come.
I can’t tell my husband all this because he already thinks she’s difficult and also he hates Facebook with a vengeance and is always telling me to keep off it. With hindsight he’s probably right.
I just feel so miserable about all this. I don’t expect her to be my best friend but just to rub along on the odd times when we’re together.
What do people think?