Gransnet forums


To think this is a damn cheek!

(150 Posts)
phoenix Thu 07-Nov-19 18:40:47

Hello all, good wishes and pass the smelling salts to those who may have had a fit of the vapours at me posting on AIBUgrin (I think it may be the second time?)

Aaaanyway, had a call yesterday from J, a friend. We speak a couple of times a week, but havent actually seen each other for about 18 months, (even though we live reasonably close, about 20 minutes drive, which is reasonably close by Devon standards!) since they downsized to a tiny bungalow. (They keep threatening to invite us over, but it never happens, I have invited them to us, but J' s job involves very odd hours, getting up at 2am etc.

After the usual chit chat, me telling her about flooded bathroom on Monday sad, Mr P being unwell, losing days at work and therefore pay, asking after her father who has just had a knee replacement, she proceeded to tell me that it was her first grandchilds christening on Sunday December 1st, at 9am.

There is a gathering afterwards at the Memorial Hall, her daughter thought that bacon rolls and a bit of Christening cake would do. Sounds sensible.

Then she asked if I would be prepared to go to the Memorial Hall and cook the bacon shock I wouldn't be expected to do any of the clearing/cleaning after, just cook the bacon.

They would be happy to pay me, and take Mr P & I out for lunch after.

I was so caught off guard, that I was ( to use the vernacular) gobsmacked! Said I would get back to her.

I'm not prepared to do it, don't want to be tied in to being somewhere quite early on a Sunday morning, prefer to wander around in my PJ's drinking coffee!

However, as a gesture, I have contacted a local caterer who comes to my place of work and does bacon rolls from her van (not one with a cooking facility, iykwim) to ask her how she keeps the bacon hot.(J doesnt know this, will present her with the info)

Perhaps passing this info on to J will help wink

Sorry for the ramble, so AIBU?

phoenix Thu 07-Nov-19 19:57:24

Merlot you have a good memory! Yes, the very same! I have never called her out over the lies, life's too short, I must either be very lazy over that sort of thing, or have a forgiving nature, take your pick.

anno thank you for you post, I think if the caterer gets back to me, then I can get back to J and say "Sorry, but no, however I do have a suggestion for you from S, a professional caterer who does this...."

Hopefully they will get the Christening do they want, without me having to be involved!

Suppose it could have been worse, they might have asked me to wear a maids outfit and actually served the food!

Julie Walters as the waitress, "2 Soups?" comes to mind!

phoenix Thu 07-Nov-19 20:04:51

Desdemona sorry that you have had a bad day, hope tomorrow is better for you.

Iam64 Thu 07-Nov-19 20:05:53

Phoenix, I also remember the car 'friend'. Your comment about wearing a maids outfit and reference to Julie Walters made me lol x

Oopsminty Thu 07-Nov-19 20:08:17

I've never heard of bacon butties being offered at a christening 'do' before, how odd

We went to a wedding. Beautiful venue. Two GPs. Bacon barms for wedding breakfast.

Sara65 Thu 07-Nov-19 20:25:50


Having bacon rolls at a christening seems really odd to me, but asking you to cook them, seems extraordinary, why you? Are you well known for your bacon rolls? Or do you think she’d asked everyone else, and you were the last resort?

FarNorth Thu 07-Nov-19 20:29:37

grin Sorry, Phoenix, I just chucked it in, in the spirit of the thread.
You Are Being Very Reasonable

merlotgran Thu 07-Nov-19 20:36:18

I'm really hungry now.

phoenix Thu 07-Nov-19 20:41:07


J (after the usual chat) said "You're well known for your cooking skills" I replied, "But so are you" (She's won prizes for baked items at local shows, think Flower & Produce in the Archers) .

I don't think grilling bacon counts as "cooking skills"!

In fact, if the progress reports that she gives me on the grandchild, he seems to be so advanced that I'm surprised that he isn't conducting the service and doing the catering!

Coolgran65 Thu 07-Nov-19 20:49:19

Perhaps the WI would do it for a donation.
They often cater after funerals etc.

She has a (pigs) cheek smile

Grammaretto Thu 07-Nov-19 20:58:33

What a strange request. I am amazed by some of the things people are asked to do.
I'd say NO THANKS I'll pass on that.
Not even invited!!! Blinking cheek. YANBU.
It reminds me of the time I invited some new "friends" to dinner along with their DD who was ages with ours and who would sleepover.
At the last minute, they called off as they'd had a better offer, but could their DD still come because we'd be home anyway!! and they still needed a babysitter
I said no to them. What a cheek some folk have.

phoenix Thu 07-Nov-19 21:05:31

I suppose she thought the offer of payment, and being treated to Sunday lunch would be enough of an incentive.

She's wrong!

lemongrove Thu 07-Nov-19 21:14:05

Hi phoenix what an odd request from your friend!
Tell her that you thought about it, but have to pass as the thought of cooking a lot of bacon so early makes you queasy as you are not a breakfast person.
Now’t as queer as folk eh?

MissAdventure Thu 07-Nov-19 21:19:25

I remember telling a friend whose mum had just died.
"I'm so sorry, if there is anything I can do, please ask"

She asked me to do the catering for the wake, for about 50 people! (and I did!)

phoenix Thu 07-Nov-19 21:21:10

lemongrove thanks for the suggestion, but I won't be using it! See previous posts for "the plan" wink

lemongrove Thu 07-Nov-19 21:31:36

Mine’s better! 😁

Charleygirl5 Thu 07-Nov-19 21:45:26

seriously phoenix if you did do it and anybody was ill afterwards you would be held liable. It is not worth the hassle.

Callistemon Thu 07-Nov-19 22:00:03

I thought of that too Charleygirl

SalsaQueen Thu 07-Nov-19 22:02:22

You haven't seen each other for 18 months, yet she wants you to cook the bacon? That's a bloody cheek, I reckon.

phoenix Thu 07-Nov-19 22:03:46

Thank you all, just to confirm that I definitely will NOT be doing it, but (as mentioned before) will be asking our local 5 star food hygiene accredited mobile caterer how she keeps her bacon hot!

Then I can pass that information on and feel that I have done at least something to help with the Christening.

(Still think it was a bloody cheek to ask me to cook the damn bacon though, even with the "bribe" of Sunday lunch)

Doodle Thu 07-Nov-19 22:58:53

phoenix I’ve just remembered seeing a McD advertisement on TV. They now do bacon baps will ketchup or brown sauce. Why don’t you suggest the Christening group go to McDonalds for their post Christening gathering 😊

Doodle Thu 07-Nov-19 22:59:11

With not will

Fiachna50 Fri 08-Nov-19 02:11:28

I would not dream of asking any friends to do this. They would be guests! I would make my excuses and think Id be avoiding this 'friend' in future. Quite a shocking way to treat a friend actually.

Namsnanny Fri 08-Nov-19 03:03:42

What a great idea Doodle !! grin

phoenix .,.. some people are odd!

kittylester Fri 08-Nov-19 07:09:53

Phoenix, I've just remembered that you are coming here that weekend, arent you? A long standing arrangement!

You did really well not to agree at the time! I'd have been so gobsmacked that I'd have said yes!


harrigran Fri 08-Nov-19 07:19:43

YANBU, I would be telling her to BOG OFF. Who eats bacon sarnies at a christening ? You would get your hands and clothes greasy.
I think I said at the time or the car incident that real friends don't treat people like that, same stands for this time.